The housewife who never quite escaped from Witch Mountain. She and her family are thick as thieves. She is the housewife who wrote a book on a topic about which she knows very little. Wait, that describes at least two or three of them — let me try again. The one who crashed a party […]
The writing staff of Lost — if they think I’m buying the deus-ex-machina “explaining” the black smoke monster was planned from day one — not to mention what other crocks of shit they plan to feed me about the island and its majesty later on this evening. The eyes of Shannon Brown, Grant Hill, and […]
11 Problems With Watching The Real Housewives Of New York And The Real Housewives Of New Jersey In The Same Week
Sonja’s sex hair — while admittedly still wildly inappropriate for lunch with Jill and Ramona at the Four Seasons — is still not big enough for the Sheriff’s dinner in Franklin Lakes. Ramona’s eyes are almost as crazy as Danielle actually is. On RHONY, “Brooklyn” is an insult. On “RHONJ,” “Jersey” is not an insult. […]
Mr. Right-Click: Hey, Lady Gaga is on Oprah. Me: Oh yeah, I meant to watch that. Mr. Right-Click: Well, there she is. Me: Is she wearing a sea anemone on her head? Mini: I want to go there! Mr. Right-Click: She’s not that great. Me: She sounds terrible. I mean, she sounds way better on […]
You’re not funny. You’ve never been funny. You’ve only been on TV this long because you weaseled the job away from Dave after Johnny Carson, and had a time slot hit after the eleven o’clock news. Generation X does not watch the eleven o’clock news. Generation Y does not even know that news on TV […]
Once you’ve seen yourself on TV, you are less inclined to overeat.
Batista’s accent is the elewfwant in the woom.
[singlepic id=584 w=750 h=750 float=center]Jon, try to stay awake while the mother of your children is speaking. Dear Jon & Kate: That’s right, I’ve come out of my self-imposed retirement from dealing with you two in order to address the recent season 5 premiere. Maligned as a “pity party” by critics, and under scrutiny for […]
[singlepic id=561 w=560 h=560 float=center]Text art by Arhcamtilnaad This week’s Tudors (pronounced in the Right-Click household as Tjoodors, fyi) featured Henry VIII all tricked out in full emo mode. Apparently, after the death of Jane Seymour, Henry started wearing all-black outfits and eyeliner, drinking too much coffee, and throwing flowers onstage at Smiths concerts, etc., […]
[Ed. Note: Thanks to Mr. Right-Click for helping me with both the conceptualization and realization of this list.] The Recycler. Give him an empty aluminum can, and he gives you a check for 1/10th of a cent, redeemable at your local grocery store or check-cashing establishment. Yes: just like that. Sentence Fragment. Mostly a loner […]