Mini is a funny kid. Perhaps you’ve picked up on this. The thing that is changing is that he is becoming self-conscious about it now. To the point that I suspect him of writing bits down on the backs of cocktail napkins. Or maybe working things out to try out at the next open mike […]
This morning, I asked Mini something and his response was, “I have good news, and I have bad news.” This made me realize that the day is fast approaching when I will repeat to you something that Mini has said to me and you all will have stopped believing me altogether. There will be accusations […]
Mini is about to switch yards. This is about as big as shit gets for a three year old. The yards at Mini’s educational institution are arranged as such: the two classrooms situated closest to the previously discussed gate house the “twos.” One room is for those kids with second birthdays closest to the beginning […]
3.25 years in, the mysteries of language acquisition continue to be most fascinating aspects of parenting to me. Which, really isn’t all that surprising, I suppose, when you consider who I am, and what I’ve spent most of my life doing, in one form or another. This past weekend, we went up the coast to […]
Occupationally speaking, it has been my biggest fear that Mini would grow up to become an engineer. And look: I don’t want you to tell me about all the fucking wonderful engineers you know, OK? Or about how you are an engineer and how you shit golden bricks. Because I get it, I get it. […]
This past weekend we went to San Diego (pronounced San Dee Yo-Go) on the train. We went to the San Diego Zoo, which is disputably the best zoo in the entire world. Not to be confused with The Los Angeles Zoo, which indisputably is the worst zoo in the entire world. Interesting, because both cities […]
“Hi, Mama!” “Hi, buddy!” “I have a ‘uprise for you. Inside.” “You do? Cool!” “Uh, Anna?” “Yeah?” “He had . . . he wasn’t really . . . himself today. He kept saying that he wanted to go to the toy store. That he wanted you, and that he wanted you to come back.” “Oh […]
The “Fuck You” Threes Var: The “Hey, You’re Fucked!” Threes The “Whole New Ball Game” Threes The “OK, Fine, You’re The Boss!” Threes Three: Wheeeeeee! The “No!!!!!!!! AM NOT! I NOT Three!” Threes The “Don’t Say That! Don’t SAY. NOT!” Threes “A-CAUSE I Don’t WAN You Say That!” Threes The “We Only Call It ‘The […]
Ever since Mini turned three, everything is “poopy” this and “poopy” that. It was probably a little before he turned three, actually, that this fascination with talking about poop took hold, but I didn’t actually mention it in front of Mini’s teacher until the other day. “If you don’t stop climbing on me, little man, […]