Obama: “Who let these assholes in?”
First, you’re going to have to confirm that you were nominated.
8 Ways To Make Yourself Stand Out At A Fake Awards Show, Or At An Open Session Of Congress, Or Both.
Yo, readers. I know you’re getting tired of making fun of Kanye, and I’mma let you finish, but first I’ve got to say this is one of my favorite memes of all time.
Shotgun! Fire! Yahtzee! Bingo! SAFE! Marco! Polo! Freebird! I am the Lizard King — I can do ANYTHING! If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it! I make the GOOD GIRLS GO BAD! I did it all for the nookie! 8-ball, corner pocket! Gooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll! You can’t HANDLE the truth! You had […]
We admitted we were powerless over David Letterman—that the public perception of our scandals had become unmanageable. Came to believe that a PR wizard or superstar agent with connections greater than our own could restore us to being quietly tolerated by the general public. Made a decision to turn our careers over to the care […]
See if Shaq has seen him on Twitter. Brainstorm alternative methods for obtaining a pardon from your death sentence–and fast. Retrace your steps one by one. See if the Lieutenant Governor has a comment to make. Try to figure out who the Lieutenant Governor is. Check to see if he’s hiding behind clichés from the […]