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less than one & double

Applying Myself. You Know, Sort Of.

So, officially I still don’t know that I’m not pregnant right now. But because the monstrous, hormonal, beneath-the-skin cystic acne that took root on my cheekbone a few days ago seems to be getting even bigger as the week progresses, and because my experience regarding the appearance of similar zits at like junctures in months […]

It Just Starts So Damn Early, Far Earlier Than We Ever Could Have Anticipated

“Knock knock.”“Who’s there?”“Goldfish.”“Goldfish who?”“Goldfish in your buttocks!” “Knock knock.”“Who’s there?”“Light bulb.”“Light bulb who?”“Light bulb inside your buttocks! “Knock knock.”“Who’s there?”“Car!”“Car who?”“Car . . . inside your poopy buttocks toilet!”“Mini, I’m not sure that you are . . .”“NO! NO! MAMA DON’T SAY THOSE WORDS!“I just wanted to suggest that perhaps the concept of the knock-knock […]