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internet culture

Descriptive Terms And Phrases For Mommybloggers You Might Consider Using Instead Of “Erudite”

squee-inducing homeschooling patronizing bad ass head-patting corporate-sponsored well-connected Southern Eastern Midwestern homewrecking Christian Christian home wrecking Mormon flirty Willing to do a sponsored post about toilet paper fun (!) OMG raging against the HFCS hoping to hear from Edelman soon (srsly — call me?) Glossary terms: erudite, Toyota kerfluffle Got a list to share? Here’s […]

Inspirational Conference Tweets Gone Wrong

“Choose discomfort over resentment. Unless you can choose comfort, because that is usually the most comfortable option.” “Those who’ve escaped shame choose rest over exhaustion as a status symbol, or if their credit score allows — a new Range Rover.” “Owning UR story & loving URself is the bravest thing U will do: leave the […]

I’ll Give You Something To Weep A Single Tear About

Bullying. The situation in Middle East. Spilled milk. Unfortunate accents. Camille Grammer pretending to read The Art of War. Anne Hathaway’s unquestioned streak of hosting Saturday Night Live. Your haircut. The word “so” followed by a period, used as if it were a complete sentence (or, alternatively, a rhetorically effective one) on repeated circumstances. The […]

Behavior That Would Be Called “Shameful” By Normal People, But Is Inexplicably Applauded In Mommybloggers

Calling an airline to inform them that you will be late for your flight. Becoming infuriated that the airline’s response to you calling them to inform them that you will be late is to say, “Drive faster.” Publicizing the entire exchange on Twitter. Publicizing the fact that you got lost on the way to the […]

Quotations That Refuse To Stay In Vegas, No Matter How Much You Wish They Would

“I cannot believe nobody has heard of me here.” — Mommyblogger to unnamed vendor. Q: “How are you?” Answer: “Drrrrunk.” — Miss Britt. “Leta refuses to be a part of the website.” [Yes that Leta.] “She’s not an A-lister. Nobody gets to be an A-lister until I say they are an A-lister.” — [This was […]

Organizations Allegedly In Search Of (New?) Lobbyist Representation To Shepherd Their Reception Into The Mommyblogging Community

Say Yes! to MSG Keep Your Laws Off My Deep Fat Fryer The Trans Fats To Transform Your Waistline Reeducation Project Cheese Dust Across America NAMBLA Hot Dogs Of Indeterminate Origins Take Back The Night The Innovations In Deep Fried Convenience Foods At County Fairs Board The Donuts Are Sweeter, Cheaper, And More Colorful Than […]

Late Night Google Searches Inspired By The Social Network

www.thesocialnetwork.com www.thefacebook.com how do I find The Facebook how much of Facebook does Justin Timberlake own? So, Aaron Sorkin — totally in love with his own wit, even at the expense of verisimilitude, right? Eduardo Facebook founder not possibly that good looking Sean Parker douchebag Wait Justin Timberlake founded Napster? percentage of harvard dropouts to […]

Complications Presented By Social Media To The Annual Meeting Of The Bilderberg Group

Absolute secrecy of the attendant’s identities is difficult to maintain when people use breaks between talks to tweet updates like “Taco truck is made of TEH AWESOME but sure wish @BillClinton would quit bogarting the chimichurri #Bilderberg.” Swag started out as another nice perk of attending the annual conference, but as the years progressed, people’s […]