Posts tagged as:

bourgeois pig

Date Zero with TooBlastedPoor

by anna on July 5, 2004

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TooBlastedPoor and I met at the Bourgeois Pig, that unfortunate coffee house near my house that has been setting to many a DZaster. I wore the Mid-to-Late-June-and-Now-Carrying-Into-July Date Zero outfit, with the substitution of flip flops for mary janes, and no jacket. OPI Apricotcha Cheatin’ polish on toes, Herve Leger perfume, NARS Pigalle lipstick (a matte pink/rose color). He wore: jeans, nice-ish shoes (kind of loaferish), blue polo shirt.

He has a cute face, but is kind of a small guy. Overall, pretty cute. Not drop dead gorgeous though. I think he was surprised by me, or something, I don’t know, he looked kind of surprised when I walked in, he said, “You don’t look [he mimed the number 30],” and I said, “What do I look like?” and he said, “22″ and I rolled my eyes.

It was a little awkward. He and I have the same sense of humor exactly. Very deadpan. Everything that was said was a joke, and so therefore nothing was. He changes topics a lot, what is with these men and their inability to stay on task? It appears TooBlastedPoor doesn’t like silence. We discussed many things. He told me he had only had two relationships. He said, “What about you?” and I changed the subject. He asked me another question regarding relationships, and I said, “You don’t get to ask that yet.” and he said, “But I told you that blahblahblah dating blahblahblah,” and I said, “Yes, I can ask you whatever I want but you cannot ask me that. It’s inappropriate.” I have no problem being petulant with these men at this point. I think I lost that desire to be polite a few weeks? months? back, somewhere between ShortAsshole and LanternJaw.

I got the feeling he did not want the date to end. Rather, I should say, I know he didn’t want the date to end because he wanted me to tell him something we could do next. I kept having to deflect in order for him to come up with a plan. Eventually, we went to get Thai food, at a place he had been to.

I had Thai “Spaghetti,” the house specialty. He had some kind of curry. The food was excellent. The conversation was good. He’s a funny guy. He wanted to go somewhere after dinner, I said, “I’ve got to go home.”

We had a totally retardo conversation upon parting. I made it clear to him that he needed to call me/email me. I don’t know what will happen. I’m disheartened.

I’m disheartened because he’s not in a position to have a relationship. Yet, he loves my sense of humor, blahblabhblah loves all the things that they guys who ARE in a position to have a relationship can’t stand.

It’s not so much that he is poor, it’s more that he has no career to speak of and I don’t think he will ever have one. That’s kind of a dealbreaker for me. Money, I might be willing to negotiate on for an otherwise stellar guy. But no career, no ambition–I lose the ability to think of the guy in a sexual way.

New Suitor Report: Mr. Rogers

by anna on June 25, 2004

Mr. Rogers is so named because, well, he lives on my street. ON MY STREET, people.
This is a city of 6 million people or wtf ever it is, with like 80 million different neighborhoods. This dude writes to me and as it turns out, we’re neighbors. And it’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood, could you be mine?

Please won’t you be My Neighbor?

So our first phone call went like this:

Mr. Rogers: So, will you be walking your dog tomorrow morning?
A: Uh, why?
Mr. Rogers: No reason.
A: No, I wont.
Mr. Rogers: So, do you want to meet at Prizzi’s in a half-hour?
A: Not going to happen.
Mr. Rogers: So, when can I see you in real life, then?
A: You come up with the plan, and then I tell you if I want to do it or not. That’s how it works.
Mr. Rogers: So you get veto power?
A: Yes, but you get to legislate!

And so on.
He suggested meeting at the Bourgeois Pig and I said, “OK,” but must have hesitated, because then he asked, “What, you don’t like the Bourgeois Pig?” I said, “No, it’s fine. It just has a bad track record.” If you’ll recall, I met AgeLiar there, who should be renamed JustPlainOldLiar, since he made a big show of saying he would call and then never did. Back to Mr. Rogers.

Then he said, “Oh, OK, well I’m superstitious, so let’s go to the opposite of the Bourgeois Pig–La Poubelle.” Then he started laughing. La Poubelle is at the end of the strip of restaurants near my house. It is also the site of yet another ill-fated Date Zero (AllBusiness) and the food looks dodgy at best. At any rate, we are going to reconvene and plan a date for this weekend. More to follow.