- Wife, n. 1. A woman who is married to a man who makes or appears to make a decent amount of money; 2. A woman who was married at some point to a man who makes or appears to make a decent amount of money; 3. A woman who thought about being married to, or birthed a child with, a man who makes or appears to make a decent amount of money; 4. A woman who is any of the above, and also wears very shiny clothing and has their makeup done professionally every single morning; e.g. “I am not just a housewife, I’m a Real HouseWife.”
- mean tweet, n. A tweet sent to Kelly Bensimon that deals with something other than gummy bears or friendship bracelets; e.g. “I’m sick of all the mean tweets; would you like a jelly bean?”
- mean tweet, v. To tweet at Kelly Bensimon on a topic that deals with something other than gummy bears or friendship bracelets, e.g. “It’s up to Alex to stop Simon from mean tweeting: I’m not married to him.”
- Circle, The, n. A coveted social group of women consisting of one or more of the following Basketball “Wives”: Shaunie O’Neil, Eveylyn Lozada, and/or Jennifer Williams, along with an additional nonessential and fluid “wife” membership, and from which people are routinely being banishèd, threatened to be banishèd, and/or frozen out of.
- Freeze [someone or something] out, v. To be banishèd from something sacred, or presumably sacred, as a result of doing something bad or presumptively bad, or failing to stop somebody else from doing something bad, against or in the general vicinity of a Wife; e.g. “Simon has been mean tweeting me all morning, and if he doesn’t stop, I’m going to allow Alex to get freezed out.”
- turtle time, n.. Even I am not still not clear on this one; e.g. “Ramona asked for a glass of pinot grigio and declared, ‘It’s turtle time!’”
- bully , n. Someone who does something that Jill Zarin doesn’t like; e.g. “Simon is a bully .”
- cyber bully , n. Someone who does or says something that Jill Zarin doesn’t like on a computer; e.g. “Simon has become friends with well-known cyber bullies.”
- cyber bully , v. Talking about Jill Zarin in a way that Jill Zarin doesn’t like, on the computer; e.g. “Simon has got to stop with the cyber bullying of me — he has started up with the cyber bullying again.”
- sit-down, n. A summit planned between two Wives wherein one will confront the other regarding something that somebody said or did at some point, and during which a drink is to be thrown in the face of one or both participants; e.g. “I organized the sit-down with Karen Gravano, but I didn’t tell her it was a sit-down ahead of time, because I didn’t want her to throw a drink in my face right when she sat down for the sit-down.”
Got a list to share? Here’s what to do:
- Write a “list” post on your blog.
- Copy this code, and paste in the text of your post:
- Either comment or email me at anna at abdpbt dot com to let me know you’re participating, and I’ll link you up below.
Check out these list lovers: