[First read this.]
- “When I was growing up I knew a girl who had a whole apartment on the Upper East Side just to serve as her closet.”
- “That girl was me.”
- “I don’t want to be rich and I don’t want to be famous. I know this, because I’ve always been both, and have an enormous amount of self-awareness and empathy for people with different lifestyles and experiences. Plus, I have seen some poor people who are just so cute.”
- “I’m not fool: I know that beauty fades. That’s why I’ve been spreading hormone cream derived from female goat urine around my eyes ever since I turned sixteen. It’s a special formula not ‘available’ yet in the United States, but you can pick some up at Harrod’s in London for $500 an ounce (which is a steal). I recently gave a tube to my daughter, Apple, and she loves it.”
- “If you can’t afford to install a wood-burning pizza oven in your garden, you can quickly see a similar result by calling up your friend Mario Batagli and having him cook pizza for you, and then bring it over to your garden. I love friends!”
- “Gazpacho is particularly tasty when sipped on a terrace overlooking the Champs-Elyssees in August.”
- “One of the best things about growing up were the family trips we took to our third home on the island of Nantucket at the end of each summer. If you don’t have a house on Nantucket, a good substitute would be to take your kids to your vacation villa on Hilton Head.”
- “I’m very clean but I’m not tidy. I’m very bad at putting things away. That’s why I always tell people it’s essential for busy mums to have a full time live-in maid. I’d be lost without what’s-her-name!”
- “Every woman can make time to work out. Sometimes you have to have your nannies bring in the kids every once in a while so you can see them. Maybe you need her to throw in a load of laundry for you (or whatever — I’m not really sure what it is these women do, precisely). It just has to be a priority.”
Check out these list lovers:
I’d be stabby, if it wasn’t so amusing, in a horrific sort of way. You know how they do wife swap? We should start petitioning for a Life Swap show. She can come and do what the plebs do for a week and someone can go and get massaged and pampered.
OMG, Veronica, I’d arm wrestle a gorilla for a chance to be on THAT show.
LOL!!! very funny.
*sigh* I hate it when ridiculous people make cool things sound awful.
My neighbor built (I know, how labor-class) a wood-burning oven in his backyard and the pizza is far and away better than any I’ve had before.
Reminds me of someone I know. We were talking about our salad days in college, eating on the cheap, couting change for gas etc… I know how hard it is to make it she told our group,” one time I had to make $20 dollars last all day.” This person’s family isn’t quite as rich as Gweneth’s, but close. BTW now she is getting divorced from her artichect husband because no one is building things and so now after 16 years they’re poor, so she’s hit the road. She hasn’t gotten a job mind you, she’s expecting that he’ll pay her spousal support. But the well is dry, you can’t get blood from a turnip–but when you think like the Gweneth’s of the world , reality is a little cloudy.
Oh Gwyneth. I’ve moved past amazed and outraged straight to amused.
I’ve got a list up: http://rambleramble.com/2011/04/11/ways-blogging-may-help-your-chances-with-a-publisher/
O My. Really? I had no idea GP was so glorified in her own mind. Made me laugh though!
My first time playing along with my own Monday list. Thanks for giving me an outlet to vent the four things bugging me today. I know, only four? Tomorrow is a new day.
Aw, bless. Some people suffer from delusions of grandeur and Gwyneth suffers from delusions of relevance. I confess I find her earnestness more endearing than irritating, on the whole.
As an aside though, I’ve been wondering for a while whether Heather Armstrong is going to begin developing Gwyneth Paltrow syndrome. Or at least whether people will begin reacting in a similar way to her as they do to GOOP.
Although Dooce doesn’t practice Gwyn’s grating brand of faux-populism (here are tips for busy working moms that I shared about my hard day of going to the gym and giving interviews), it will be interesting to watch what happens as the divide deepens between her and her standard of living (have fun gawping at pictures of my 15th marble bathroom with antique furnishings, plebs) and that of her audience. I always though the appeal of her Daily Style stuff was that she was Stylish Everywoman, and her aesthetic and decoration was a mix of IKEA and other easily sourced things that people could replicate themselves and imagine as part of their own lives. But perhaps I am misreading.
People mock GP’s “I am just like you! And you can be just like me” because everyone knows she starts out from a place of enormous privilige. Dooce who started out as Funny Everywoman is now attaining substantial trappings of wealth (enormous house, assistants, gadgets etc.) and I’m curious to see whether people will still keep striving harder to be her and empathise with her, or whether they will begin disconnecting and turning away.