From the monthly archives:

August 2010

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  1. Publicly petition Facebook to add a new “frenemy” classification to the “relationship status” category.
  2. When they ask why, tell them it’s because you need to add your former friend to it. Then retweet that.
  3. Write a post on your blog about how angry you are that Facebook insisted on notifying everyone that you had changed your status from “friend” to “frenemy,” even though you weren’t really mad, you were just kidding around, and even though you still totally think Facebook is lame, even though everyone seems to love it. But then people will totally take you seriously because they are super touchy about Facebook because Facebook is apparently some kind of fucking sacred cow (with a moronic interface).
  4. Talk to somebody at Facebook about adding a new “Facebook frenemy” classification to the “relationship status” category, except do it on the down low this time because you don’t want people all up your ass about Facebook this and Facebook that and turn off the birthday notifications if you don’t want all your not real “Facebook frenemies” to know about it, it’s really quite simple and you’ve had your birthday on there from the beginning and whatnot.
  5. Figure out a way to publicly mock their life’s work — like, say, not taking the concept of a bucket list 100% seriously, when the frenemy has created an entire business model around the concept of a bucket list.
  6. Suggest that they are not at the top of their profession, or that they are only “among” those at the top of their profession, especially if it is one of those totally unusual cases in which there is really an indisputable top of the profession, and it so happens that the frenemy is the person at the top of it.
  7. Start a new hashtag on Twitter called #youshouldallknowthatwearefrenemiesnow.
  8. Get interviewed in an online magazine and when they ask you for your occupation, say that you are the “Creator of the hashtag View definition in a new window #youshouldallknowthatwearefrenemiesnow.”

Glossary terms: life list View definition in a new window, Mighty Summit View definition in a new window, motrinmoms View definition in a new window, creator of the hashtag View definition in a new window

Check out these list lovers:

  1. 4 Inner Truth Mugs By Knock Knock | ABDPBT Commodity Fetishism
  2. Blogger and Brand Pairings: Baby Care Products With Established Niche Blogger | ABDPBT Personal Finance
  3. Shasta at Blogging With Mittens
  4. Brooke at Mommy In Chief
  5. Ginger at Ramble Ramble

PS BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE CHECK IT OUT

I think some of you already know Ryan from Pacing The Panic Room, but you might not know about his latest project which is, and I’m not bullshiting you here — awesome. He’s curating this collection of kids music to benefit research on Smith Magenis Syndrome, a condition with which his step-son was diagnosed a few years ago and about which there is basically no information available. Listen, the album of music is great, great kids music, it has a really Yo Gabba Gabba kind of feel to it, I listened to it this afternoon and it’s great, and it launches on iTunes today, so Ryan’s trying to get it out there with this cute little widget that I’ve pasted below. Check it out — the music, the widget, consider sharing it, I really think it’s great. If nothing else, check out the potty song because it will crack you up. [Note: If you're reading this in a reader, the widget won't show up, so visit this page to see what I'm talking about.]

Of Note This Week

by anna on August 28, 2010

I’m back! I’m back! I’m back FINALLY with the OF NOTE this weeks. We shall see how long it lasts, my friends. So let’s not question it: let’s just enjoy.

  • Pictured above is the 2010 Social Networking Map. Please note that Facebook is likened, geographically speaking, to the Soviet Union before the fall of the Berlin Wall. I believe this is not accidental. (Poke, poke, Facebook fans, poke, poke, poke!)
  • This is interesting: Fidel Castro has a blog. This is better: it has a PayPal button on it. (It’s for the publication, but I maintain that it is hilarious anyway). (Via Kotkke.)
  • OK, so now is the time for you to go vote for this Cure JM thing and get Kevin off my damn back about the $250,000 from the unnamed soda company thing already. Please go and vote. Something about an awful disease and sick kids, only a few more days, and soda companies, and needing your vote now before the end of August go do it now click on the link go now. Please, can you do it now? How about now? Thanks.

Seriously, Facebook, MYOFuckingB

by anna on August 26, 2010

Guess what, Facebook: when I want people to know it’s my birthday, I will post pictures of myself as a toddler a few days beforehand on my blog — you know, the one that is read by like a thousand people, most of whom don’t know me in real life, mmkay?

The reason I do it that way is because I don’t need everybody in the world who actually has my telephone number calling me on the telephone to wish me a happy birthday. I would rather not have to field phone calls all morning from people who would have otherwise forgotten that it’s my birthday because we are not really that great of friends.

What gives, Facebook?! I’ve seen your creator. He’s a bigger dweeb than I am. I cannot imagine he wants people who aren’t really his close friends calling him all day on his birthday. Wait.

I’m not a Facebook kind of person. You never convinced me to figure out your idiotic overly complicated interface that doesn’t make sense to people with less than ten minutes of time to kill trying to figure it out. And besides, you know as well as I do that I can’t sign off on yet another media that popularizes the institutionalization of Friends Who Aren’t Really Your Friends. I was already in a sorority and now I’m a mommyblogger — throwing in Facebook Friends in earnest is just too damn much to ask of my already overtaxed bullshit fake nice resources.

Let’s just say there’s a reason you’re the PC of social media outlets. Look, Evan Williams is not going to beat Samuel L. Jackson in a cool-off any time soon, but line him up next to Mark Zuckerberg and I think you’ll catch my drift.

Sure, just like with Apple, Twitter sometimes gets shoved a little too far up its own ass with the “who to follow aka people you’d be following already if you didn’t despise them” and “power users aka people you already know and hate,” but at least they are straightforward with their nomenclature — they don’t fuck around, they just straight up call them followers and we all bought it hook line and sinker. You know why? Because that’s what we ARE!

So cool it with privacy violations, the stupid mafia and farm games, the annoying interfaces, the I’m-not-allowed-to-block-you-Mark-Zuckerberg-haha-so-cute-because-he’s-the-CEO-get-it-haha-not-cute-dorkoff-CEOs-are-not-ever-cute-they-are-either-dorky-or-scary-and-you’re-starting-to-get-scary, and all that jazz. Maybe you’re too young to get it, I don’t know? But at some point you’re going to wake up, dude, and you’re going to think, what the hell was I thinking?

At least I hope so.

Now get off my lawn.