Just Like DeeYogo’s Jaguar

by anna on June 2, 2010

Photo By Mr. Right-Click

This past weekend we went to San Diego (pronounced San Dee Yo-Go) on the train.

Photo By Mr. Right-Click

We went to the San Diego Zoo, which is disputably the best zoo in the entire world. Not to be confused with The Los Angeles Zoo, which indisputably is the worst zoo in the entire world. Interesting, because both cities kind of suck donkey dicks in the peculiar way that only Southern Californian cities with nearly perennial perfect weather can — unfriendly people, crappy service, horrible food, bad hotel beds, a near perfect lack of intellectual culture.

By Mr. Right-Click

To that degree, San Diego sucks to a greater degree than Los Angeles, in my opinion, having lived for considerable time in both places, but their zoo is far superior. They do not have a basketball team, though, and though their Nordstroms tend to be far better stocked than the ones in Los Angeles, I would much rather live up here — Hollywood trailer trash and all — if for no other reason than for a slighter degree of provincialism and the distance from John Birch Society runoff from all the military bases.

I digress.

by Mr. Right-Click

We he had some truly astonishingly good luck with animal encounters whilst at the zoo. Astonishingly good. Of course this was pretty much lost on Mini. I think the train ride was the biggest thrill, followed closely by the Sky Tram (the gondola thing that dangles you across the park).

By Mr. Right-Click

That, and the danish that the conductor gave him on Amtrak. Because ever since the one time that Mr. Right-Click took Mini on a train ride one Saturday morning and a conductor randomly gave him a danish, Mini has decided that handing out danishes is somehow connected to the normal course of duties for a conductor. The conductor is supposed to take a ticket, punch out holes in it in the shape of your name or an inspirational word or character trait in which you are supposed to work, perform an elaborately choreographed hot chocolate dance routine, yell “All Aboard!,” and (don’t forget) hand out danishes.

By Mr. Right-Click

On a similar note, Mini is apparently not taken aback by being in close proximity to large wild animals. Take jaguars, for instance. Because of Mini’s extensive experience with the viewing practices of Nick Jr., he thinks that baby jaguars are regularly in the habit of serving as companions to boy explorers and animal rescuers in South American rain forests.

Therefore, when Jacob, the zookeeper in charge of big cats at the San Dee Yogo Zoo brought out an adolescent jaguar, Mini informed me that this was just like DeeYogo’s baby jaguar companion, as you can hear him do on the following video, as said jaguar is being fed an amuse-bouche for our benefit, before she goes outside to decimate an already dead rabbit (mercifully not caught on film). Though, if you look carefully, I think you can see in her eye the thought that perhaps Mr. Right-Click would make a far tastier meal.

Overall, the trip was a grand success, but for that conundrum that always happens with the with-kids vacation: coming home a little bit more tired than when you left. But then, I don’t remember having this much fun at a zoo before, either. I guess last time, I was the one who didn’t quite get what was so cool about it.

{ 13 comments }

Kerry June 2, 2010 at 5:30 am

I miss that zoo. The one here is actually really nice, but I’ve never been to a zoo as good as the one in San Diego.

Do they still have the San Diego Wild Animal Park?

anna June 2, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Kerry, yes, but it’s further away and kind of hot out there. I think that Mini is a little young for that. It’s definitely a more impressive overall park, but this is a good zoo experience. We went on a semi private thing so that we could see the jaguar up close. We also saw the lions, though I didn’t edit that video yet. That part was cool as well.

pamela June 2, 2010 at 6:22 am

Every time we go to the zoo, and I mean *EVERY* time, the animals are horny. And screwing. And really? Have you ever seen TWO GINORMOUS TURTLES going at it? Remarkably faster than you might imagine.

anna June 2, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Mercifully, we were spared any such embarrassments on this trip!

beta dad June 2, 2010 at 10:04 am

I’m glad you had fun at our zoo! I live less than a mile from it, and take our babies there a couple times a month. Also, I force anyone who visits us to go there too. And yes, Kerry, the Wild Animal Park is still here.

But I’m sorry you have to live in donkey dick-sucking SoCal. I suspect that your critique of the area was overstated (unfriendly people? really? where else have you lived?) intentionally for laughs, at least to some extent, but it makes me wonder what cities or areas in the country you find more palatable.

I’ve lived in about ten different towns and cities in the U.S. and Europe, and even the ones that have a supposedly thriving “intellectual culture” (San Fransisco, Vienna, Washington D.C.), are full of annoying assholes. Nonetheless, I inevitably develop affection for the city I live in and am sad to leave. Sometimes the cultural powerhouses are even worse than the provinces–for example, after a couple years in the Bay Area, everyone began to look and sound the same to me. “Oh, really? You love wine? How charming. And you think Bush is an idiot? We’re like soul mates!” At least in San Diego we have a diversity of stupid assholes–hippies, minutemen, jarheads, surfers, gangbangers, trustafarians, academics, etc.

I don’t know L.A. all that well, but we have family there who are in “the industry,” and when we hang out with their friends I just want to vomit. I’ll take provincialism and John Birch Society over traffic and Hollywood flakes.

I’m always interested in why people love professional sports. I never felt any allegiance to any particular team, so the whole thing was lost on me. I guess you should like the team from your area out of civic pride, which may have some kind of intangible positive social effect; but I can’t get over the gross spectacle of wealth, celebrity worship, bad behavior, aggression, and ego. Maybe it’s drama and catharsis and all that and I should try not to be snobby about it. I know a lot of really smart people who love some team or another with ferocious passion. So do you love the Lakers like that, and why? Surely not civic pride in your donkey dick-sucking city?

Next time you’re in town, let me give you some recommendations for places with less crappy service and not-so-horrible food!

anna June 2, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Beta Dad, I love to bash on Southern California in general since I’m a native. I grew up in Los Angeles but my grandparents are from Coronado so much of my youth was spent in the San Diego area. I also did part of my grad school at UCSD so I lived down there. This particular trip we had some bad luck with service and food, though I do know there is good food and service both in San Diego in parts. Both cities have their ups and downs, but I have to say I prefer LA overall, even with the annoyances of Hollywood. San Diego does have better weather, though. And it’s much, much easier to get around.

Ginger June 2, 2010 at 10:21 am

I’m partial to the Wild Animal Park myself, but will admit that the SD Zoo is head and shoulders above many others. And holy cow did you get some nice animal encounters there! When we go, we mostly seem to just see empty enclosures or sleeping animals hidden behind rocks.
I can’t wait till Jackson is old enough to enjoy the zoo.

anna June 2, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Ginger, we didn’t even get pictures of all of them. We also got the Tiger to come down and walk right past us at the glass. I think the secret is to go first thing in the morning or something.

Steph June 2, 2010 at 5:22 pm

I love the San Diego zoo. It’s spectacular. I haven’t been in years and years though. We were in LA recently and stayed in Anaheim for almost a week. We didn’t have any problems with service or anything. It’s a culture shock for me, coming from a small town. The closest big city to us is Denver (they also have a phenomenal zoo, btw). I know the service isn’t going to be as good as what I’m used to here in Wyoming so I just go other places without expectations I guess and then I’m not disappointed. :)

anna June 2, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Steph, Anaheim — despite what Major League Baseball might have you believe — is not part of Los Angeles. It is behind the Orange Curtain. And that is probably why you had no problems with service. Look at me with the gross generalizations here! See, it’s like when you’re part of a group you have no qualms making fun of them or being prejudiced against them? I’m that way about all of Southern California. I feel totally at home ripping all of Southern California a new one.

Kate@And Then I Was a Mom June 2, 2010 at 7:16 pm

I would have been more concerned if Boots was there. Because that sucker has a plotting glint in his eye that takes my breath away every time. Achtung, Dora, achtung.

I heart Mini’s hat.

anna June 2, 2010 at 7:40 pm

I have to agree, Boots is a crazy mofo. And Mini’s hat can be yours, provided you’re willing to cross the Paul Frank mommyblogger picket lines (as I am totally willing to do) (NOT an affiliate link): http://shop.paulfrank.com/Julius_Straw_Fedora__Youth_Boys/pd/np/700/p/3915.html

monkey June 3, 2010 at 1:50 pm

One thing I took away from living in Southern California-time burns fast. I have no idea where 5 years of my life (and the latter half of my 20s) even went.

I’m going to have to disagree with you on the food, however. I’m partial to Asian cuisines so for me Los Angeles was like living in the middle of paradise. Korean, Thai, Japanese…whatever you want. They are pretty weak on Indian, though. And now that I’m back in Boston, I can only watch in pity at so-called Tex/Mex restaurants.

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