11 Problems With Watching The Real Housewives Of New York And The Real Housewives Of New Jersey In The Same Week

by anna on May 10, 2010

Real Housewives of New York

  1. Sonja’s sex hair — while admittedly still wildly inappropriate for lunch with Jill and Ramona at the Four Seasons — is still not big enough for the Sheriff’s dinner in Franklin Lakes.
  2. Ramona’s eyes are almost as crazy as Danielle actually is.
  3. On RHONY, “Brooklyn” is an insult. On “RHONJ,” “Jersey” is not an insult.
  4. When Dina was saying she got rid of everything in her life that made her unhappy, did she mean her husband and her daughter? And was Teresa’s husband somehow involved in this elimination?
  5. Wait. What show am I watching? Oh, that’s Barney’s, and these people appear to have a lot of money, ergo this must be RHONY. Wait–these people are overweight. And their accents are not European affectations. What happened?
  6. On RHONJ, when the producers need to manufacture drama, parties are thrown ostensibly for “law enforcement.” On RHONY, when the producers need to manufacture drama, parties are thrown for what are ostensibly “magazines.”
  7. It’s unclear who would be most horrified by the fact that they are occupying the same cast position, Teresa, or the Countess, but if they were to meet, you know they would totally fake being friends, commiserating about their periods in Italian — just as long as they weren’t making red sauce at the time (so as to respect the wishes of the “old school Italians,” because LuAnn is big on manners like that).
  8. Are they going to bring in another character for Danielle to be friends with besides the manicurist?
  9. Did they bring in this other Jennifer woman to make Jill look like less of a bitch? Or is she someone I’m supposed to know?
  10. Will somebody please either explain to Sonja the difference between a French and an English garden or take away her brownstone and give it to someone who deserves it like me?
  11. Did I say that outloud?

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{ 30 comments }

jenni May 10, 2010 at 6:05 am

They were on back-to-back one night last week and it was late so I really did get confused. I think the Countess and LuAnn have the same plastic surgeon because they are kind of identical.

anna May 10, 2010 at 6:16 am

You mean Sonja and LuAnn? I’m so confused. The shows are blending together in some kind of cross-class miss mash of horrors.

Alexis May 10, 2010 at 6:29 am

I often find that the people featured on TV are so homogeneous in looks that I can’t even tell characters apart within a show, let alone between several similar shows. That is why I avoid reality TV, not because I am too cultured for it, but because I am not smart enough to keep up!

Got a list up today!

anna May 10, 2010 at 6:44 am

My husband has taken to telling me that these shows are “beneath” me. I’ve told him that his faith in there being some kind of merit in the high-low culture divide is bourgeois.

Katy May 10, 2010 at 8:26 am

Man, my honey is constantly lecturing me about Real Housewives and how horrible the shows are….” they lack values, the people are vapid and shallow, they are too materialistic”….. What he does not seem to understand is that all of the reasons for hating it, are why I just love it so.

If loving the Manzos is wrong, I do not want to be right. EVER.

anna May 10, 2010 at 8:35 am

Listen, he said to me, “You wouldn’t watch a reality show on the KKK, right?” and I said, “Probably not, but here’s the difference, these people at least can masquerade as if they are normal and not racist assholes. They can fool you for like ten minutes before you figure it out. So they are even more dangerous, IMO.” Which is why I need to learn about them. It’s EDUCATIONAL.

Katy May 10, 2010 at 9:14 am

I have no standards. I would totally watch a reality show with KKK members.

You have to KNOW your enemies in order to effectively fight them.

anna May 10, 2010 at 9:18 am

I *might* watch one. I would probably watch a documentary on them. A reality show with them shopping for hoods at Walmart? With cookouts and angst ridden interviews about who might ask whom to the all white supremecist prom? eh. I might have to draw the line there. If Mark Burnett had signed on, though, then yeah. Maybe.

Which reminds me. Mr. Right-Click had a good idea for how to make the NYC show better: if the added a Survivor element where we could start voting people off that might be a good idea. Except you KNOW they would vote Bethenny off, which would totally suck. Because I’m so sick of Jill. I want to vote Jill off of Manhattan, and I don’t even live there.

Katy May 10, 2010 at 9:27 am

“”"A reality show with them shopping for hoods at Walmart? With cookouts and angst ridden interviews about who might ask whom to the all white supremecist prom?”"”

I just got chills. I would *SO* watch this show.

A girl can dream.

Juliet Grossman May 10, 2010 at 6:53 am

I am waiting for Atlanta to come back. And I’m sad that the party-crashers from DC will not be on the upcoming DC version.

I have a list up today: http://thanksgivingfeast.blogspot.com/2010/05/list-10-pieces-of-advice-for-new.html

anna May 10, 2010 at 8:40 am

I can’t stand Atlanta. Mr. Right-Click says it’s because I’m racist. I don’t know if it’s that or because I hate the South. Maybe it’s both. I guess that DC will be the deciding factor on whether I’m more racist or regionist. (Ducks from flying rotten fruit and vegetables).

Eliz May 10, 2010 at 8:44 am

I hate the Atlanta version, too, and I’m kind of starting to like my new home here in the South. I don’t know what I just proved – probably that we’re both racists? I don’t know. I don’t think they picked a good group with the Atlanta women and that’s why I don’t like it.

Eliz May 10, 2010 at 8:45 am

And I hate the OC franchise, too, so maybe I really am still more Northeast-centric than I thought.

anna May 10, 2010 at 8:53 am

I don’t really like OC that much either. I hate Orange County, too, though. I refer to it as going behind the Orange Curtain. I did not make that up, though, I wish I could take credit. My favorite franchise is the NYC one, by far, though this season is kind of driving me nuts. The problem is that there’s nobody to root for. They are all despicable. Even Bethenny I struggle with on occasion, though I think I like her the most.

One thing that’s interesting to me about these multi-year reality shows, though — and that makes them comparable to blogs, actually — is how your perception of the characters changes over the course of the show. The first year, your perception is very superficial, so characters like LuAnn come off better. Sure, there was the driver comment, but we were all dazzled by her townhouse and her Hamptons house and her Equestrian daughter, etc. We thought Alex was pretentious and her husband was gay. Now, three years later, and we’re like, Alex and her husband are still pretentious, but they might just be the ones with the most integrity on the show, sad as that may be.

danish May 10, 2010 at 9:03 am

Dude, I live in Atlanta and cannot stand RHOA either. They are an embarrassment to the city. Oh, and they don’t even live in the city, they live like 30 min north of the city. That show is unwatchable to me.

Katy May 10, 2010 at 9:16 am

Now I have Tardy for the Party going through my head.

anna May 10, 2010 at 9:20 am

Yeah, they just pick the general area and go with that. I tried to get into the Atlanta one but just could not do it. I’ve never been there so I cannot get a sense of the geography of the city. At least with the other shows I have a vague sense of where they are.

Eliz May 10, 2010 at 7:19 am

I’m bored and a little put off by the Jill-Bethenny feud on RHONY, and the adding of Sonja and this Jennifer you mention (I must be a week behind) feels shark-jumpy, no? As if to shore up the franchise. And how obvious is it that some producer had a secret lunch meeting with Ramona before they started shooting this season and said, “You know, you could really be the standout star, the real alpha housewife of the group, if you just, you know, really FELT FREE to be yourself. Just put it all out there, because it’s so awesome and you know you really are such an amazing businesswoman and mother and rockin’ hot wife to Mario …”? ‘Cause that broad is crazy times 10 this season, and she’s loving every minute of it.

I’ve said before that I find the RHONJ gals refreshing because they’re not concerned with being “declasse” and they’re not vying for invites to the right parties and charity events and fashion shows. I dig their deluded “people who make fun of Jersey girls are just jelly beeyatches” thing. And conts full of contradictions. (Is that one for Teresa or did that slam not quite hit the mark?) I think there’s good potential for intergenerational Jersey zaniness if they include Caroline’s kids. The show would then be a Housewives-”My Super Sweet 16″ hybrid, sorta (I know those kids are older than 16). I wanna see Lauren and Vito plan a huge wedding and then I want to see her freak out when she’s not pregnant with a masculine child within six months.

In other news, I’m thinking of rigging up a sauce-making operation in my garage like Teresa did (after I consult my FAM chart, of course), with the propane burners and everything. I’m having fantasies of making enough sauce to get us through next fall/winter in one afternoon.

anna May 10, 2010 at 8:39 am

What I think is a glaring omission, though, of the franchise, is that they’ve done LA’s version of NJ (Orange County, the flagship), but not LA’s version of Manhattan, which would be Beverly Hills. Or the Palisades or the Hollywood Hills or something. And that has to be because this would be the franchises’ producers’ wives on the show (those of whom that are not gay, that is). It’s pretty funny that they’ve hit so many of the areas of the country yet steadfastly avoided what is right in their backyards, and what has to be something that most of the country wants to see.

beth aka confusedhomemaker May 10, 2010 at 9:30 am

I have a soft spot for the New Jersey ladies.

I also DO know people who do the sauce thing, it’s made for the whole year, & also have small butercheries in their yards (or basements) they are all from Italy. These include family & friends. If we had space I’d make my sauce like that; in fact, I’m hoping to can a good amount at the end of summer if we can get it organized this year (big *if*)

And with the sauce thing while it comes from an old wives’ tale, there actually is scientific evidence that a woman’s taste buds & sense of smell DO change during her period, they are decreased. So, if your taste buds and sense of smell)are off the sauce can be bitter due to lack of ability to taste or smell it the same way. Ovulation is the best time because you have an increased taste & smell. I know weird but science seems to show true, it’s related to fluctuations in estrogen. And now you all know way more than you ever wanted to about that ;)

danish May 10, 2010 at 9:06 am

I truly cannot wait for the reunion show for the NY season. Hoping Bethenny can go, since she just delivered her baby on Sat…

I used to think that Jill was kind of the normal one, but she is really out of her mind.

Juliet Grossman May 10, 2010 at 9:11 am

Funny how Orange County transformed from “behind the Orange Curtain” to “The OC.” The show “The OC” has a lot of credit for that. If you told Californians in 1980 that there would be a glitzy nighttime soap about glamorous and hip people set in Orange County, it would be a hilarious joke. But they pulled it off. Hollywood transformed it into a pricy and desirable place to live. Where I live and the last place I lived too, people emulate OC style even saying things like, “There’s a (mall, store, shop, house, eg) just like this in (Irvine, Costa Mesa etc.)” Saying it’s “just like Orange County” is considered a compliment. I thought people were being ironic when I first started hearing it but there’s not an ounce of sarcasm to it. By the way I lived up to age 11 in OC and it’s not that bad.

anna May 10, 2010 at 9:22 am

Orange County gets a bad rap in some ways, but there’s still a hardcore conservative element in some parts that bothers me. I know it’s gotten much less so in recent years but I am still biased because of this, much moreso than any kind of cultural or gentrification kind of thing.

SoMo May 10, 2010 at 10:42 am

Why do they keep adding these new “housewives” (a term they use very loosely)? I seriously thought, no joke, that the new girl (Jennifer) was a transvestite.

At this point, I can’t stop watching any of them, even though OC and NY are annoying me. It’s like crack and my brain shows it. Whenever TiVo changes the channel and these ladies pop up my husband groans and buries his head into his laptop. Sometimes if the arguing gets to be too much he has to leave the room.

I have never heard the old Italian thing, but then again my grandmother didn’t make huge batches of pasta sauce in one sitting. I did hear about disturbing fact and women and tomato sauce, but I will keep it to myself. :)

Tim G May 10, 2010 at 11:23 am

On the beach in Destin, read this to Mrs SBC who is a big consumer of both shows. She is an LI girl herself. Not only did she explain it all to me, but after goi g through the comments had to go redd about Bethany’s baby! Just now getting my iPhone back. No list yet today, inspired to write one by the many overdone-by-the-sun people I see walking by. They won’t sleep well. But they can always watch RHWONJ.

Kerry May 10, 2010 at 11:47 am

I assumed they were bringing Jennifer and Sonja on because two others are leaving the show…is that right? I assume Bethenny is leaving, but who would be the other one?

If you REALLY want to be entertained, go to the Bravo website and read their blogs. They don’t seem to have much editing. It’s a hoot.

Words and Eggs May 10, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Dearest Anna,
1. Money can’t buy you cla-ass (emphasis on the “ass”).
2. I’m still pulling for RHOBoston — or Bahstin, is it should be called.
3. I’ll totally admit I watch each and every episode of each and every geographical Housewives franchise. Even though some women are neither wives nor do they have homes (originally: Jo, Gretchen, Bethenny… Kelly’s divorced, now Count(l)ess is divorced and couch-hopping, no clue what this Sonja chick’s status is, though her duck mouth scares the crap out of me (way more than her sex hair and stomach “pouch”)).
4. I was wondering the same freakin’ thing about that Jenn(ifer) woman who popped up EVERYWHERE last episode. As devoted watchers, CLEARLY we haven’t missed anything, so how DARE “Housewives by Bravo” slap some new miniskirt-wearing chick all over an episode, stick Simon’s very gay head near her (and Jill’s) cootch, and pretend as though she’s always been there?! AS IF we wouldn’t notice?!?! ANNOYING. And the strategic placement of her B&W artsy family photos near the door of her apartment prove she has kids. And, by the way, I couldn’t believe Kelly even knew the word “aesthetic.”
5. That first episode of the RHONJ made me say to my sister, “IT’S JUST TOO MUCH!” I mean, cops, strippers, drugs, stalking, kids making anti-semitic comments without knowing it, that terrifying boutique owner (“friend” of Danielle’s) with the same duck lips as Sonja, Caroline freakin’ “thick as thieves” Manzo who annoys the living F out of me (why does everyone like her?! everyone NOT on the show, I mean? Ellen Barkin practically had her baby on Watch What Happens last week!)… Now, just after that one episode, I found myself liking Dina the best. I’m not sure I felt that way last season, though I *did* always like her relationship with Lexy. Which brings me to: WHERE IS LEXY?!?!? Seriously, I agree with you… the husband and daughter got knocked off or something. But Teresa… I think I can’t stand her most of all, mostly because she’s thick as ROCKS. HOW DUMB IS SHE?!?! And she says the grossest, most tasteless things that make me ill. Yes, “prostitution whore” will go down in RH history, for sure — I’ll give her that — but I can’t freakin’ stand her and her kids with the freakin’ purses and make-up.

OK, I think I’m done.

Katy May 11, 2010 at 5:47 am

I kind of like Teresa….. I find her stupidity charming, in a Flowers For Algernon kind of way….

Maybe the RH franchise has damaged my brain?

Dangermonkey May 11, 2010 at 6:41 pm

I’m a little behind on my housewives, but I love NY and NJ for the trainwrecks that they are. And I’m really anti-reality tv, but let’s be honest…this is like delusional reality. So that’s okay in my book.
I know I’m a minority here, but I’ve always liked the weird awkwardness that is Alex and Simon. They are coming off surprisingly normal so far this season. Especially next to crazy-eyed Ramona.
And NJ…oh boy….the pseudo-mafioso is just glorious to watch. I would LOVE someone to remind Caroline that she’s a housewife in NJ, not a Gotti, but hey, she’s entertaining me with her delusions.

Katy May 18, 2010 at 10:16 am

WTF IS UP WITH KELLY BENSIMON? The land of cartwheels and kindness called and they think you are cuckoo bananas with one lemon short of making lemonade!

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