27 Underexplored Career Paths For Sociopaths

by anna on October 26, 2009

Photo by frixedairewave at deviantART

Photo by frixedairewave at deviantART

  1. Infant Phlebotomist
  2. Brand Enthusiast, Acai Berry Diet Pill
  3. Dealer, International Black Market for Human Organs
  4. Judge, Project Runway
  5. Infant Sleep Trainer
  6. Lactation Consultant
  7. Admissions Officer, Yale Law School
  8. Masseuse at Bacara Resort, Santa Barbara
  9. Strategist, Health Insurance Claims Rejections
  10. Health Plan Pharmaceutical Coverage Policy Designer
  11. Toddler Vegetable-Eating Enforcer
  12. Customer Service Representative, DreamHost
  13. Consultant, Characterization of Protagonists, Premium Cable Television Shows
  14. Inspiration, Characterization of Protagonists, Premium Cable Television Shows
  15. Personal Trainer
  16. Standard Poodle Hairstylist
  17. Stand-In For Simon Cowell
  18. Cameraman for Survivor, Jon and Kate Plus Eight, or The Biggest Loser
  19. Infant Ear Piercer
  20. Telemarketer
  21. Junk Mailer
  22. Stand-In for Jillian Michaels
  23. Stand-In for Kate Gosselin
  24. Disc Jockey, Techno Club
  25. My Mailman
  26. Person at the Post Office Who Decides When/If To Open Another Window
  27. Person Who Stands Outside Barnes & Noble, the Apple Store, or Pavillions And Asks Me For Money And/Or To Sign A Petition, Whether Or Not They Are Affiliated With A Legitimate Charity

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Tim G October 26, 2009 at 4:30 am

9, 10, an 14 are earily similar. I think that 9 people and 10 people actually work secretly together and then pretend to not know each other.
I think I would suggest the College Football BCS computer programmer as another potential.

My list is up.

Kerry October 26, 2009 at 6:07 am

#10 is really ringing my bell, since we just did open enrollment. Basically, the plan is “No drugs for you bitch!”

My list is up.

Alexis October 26, 2009 at 7:02 am

I also feel #9 and #10 are excellent careers within a growing industry. I would like to add “person who organizes appointment scheduling at Military Treatment Facilities.” A la Kerry’s Rx coverage, my provider’s current policy is “No OB care you bitch.”

My list is up.

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