16 Situations In Which Your Update In Status May Be Beyond The Purview Of The Facebook “Update Status” Feature

by anna on August 3, 2009

  1. You’re an insanely wealthy teenager currently featured on a Bravo reality TV show and you’ve decided that, yeah, maybe you are gay. “Or something.”
  2. You’re the governor of a large and sparsely populated state and you’re kind of sick of it, thinking about quitting.
  3. You used to be the governor of a large and sparsely populated state and you’re kind of sick of your husband, thinking about quitting.
  4. You’re the head of a long-running Ponzi scheme and are now adjusting to life in prison.
  5. You’ve discovered your husband has been talking to ex girlfriends on Facebook and want to confront him about it, but not directly. More like in a passive-aggressive, in-front-of-everyone-in-the-world kind of way.
  6. [Scratch that last one--I was thinking of Twitter. My bad.]
  7. You’re a pretty well-known male sportswriter for the LA Times. And now, you’re a pretty well-known female sportswriter for the LA Times.
  8. You just lost your mucous plug.
  9. [Dammit--Twitter again! Lulz.]
  10. You’ve just been arrested for breaking into your own home.
  11. You’ve just arrested a fairly well-known public intellectual for breaking into his own home.
  12. You’re having a beer with the President, the Vice-President, and the well-known public intellectual that you arrested for breaking into his own home.
  13. You’re trying to give the Eye of Mordor to the police officer who arrested you for breaking into your own home, and the President and the Vice-President are drinking beers at the same table.
  14. You are Microsoft lamenting your loss of control over the world.
  15. You are Google, snickering at Microsoft’s loss of control over the world.
  16. You’re the President of France, in a relationship, but still looking.

Check out these list lovers:

  1. Attack of the Reusable Bags: 6 Uses For Them | ABDPBT Personal Finance
  2. 5 Ways To Increase The Security of Your WordPress Blog | ABDPBT Tech
  3. Kerry at ClueWagon
  4. Eliz at Tink’s Mom Dot Com
  5. Alexis at The Well-Read Mom
  6. Tim at Safer By Choice
  7. Alan at Saving For Serenity
  8. Ginger at Ramble Ramble

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