17 Things To Do If Your Governor Is Missing

by anna on June 29, 2009

  1. See if Shaq has seen him on Twitter.
  2. Brainstorm alternative methods for obtaining a pardon from your death sentence–and fast.
  3. Retrace your steps one by one.
  4. See if the Lieutenant Governor has a comment to make.
  5. Try to figure out who the Lieutenant Governor is.
  6. Check to see if he’s hiding behind clichés from the The Thornbirds.
  7. If you live in Alaska, check the monologue notes at Worldwide Pants.
  8. Post pictures around your neighborhood and contact your local humane society.
  9. Become temporarily distracted by the death of a pop star.
  10. If you live in Minnesota, check the latest WWF listings.
  11. See if you can railroad approval for TARP funds through the state’s legislature in his absence.
  12. If you live in 1930s Louisiana, check the cement foundations of any recent building projects.
  13. See if he’s waiting in line outside the Apple Store.
  14. If you live in Illinois, check the FBI wire taps of his phone.
  15. If you live in Illinois, and the wire taps yield nothing, check underneath his toupée.
  16. Check to see if he’s eating a salad under a palm tree.
  17. If you live in California, check the (virtual) cutting room floor at Industrial Lights and Magic.

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  3. Tim at SaferByChoice
  4. Juliet at ThanksgivingFeast
  5. Kerry at ClueWagon
  6. Ginger at Ramble Ramble
  7. Eliz at Tink’s Mom Dot Com

{ 7 comments }

eliz June 29, 2009 at 5:59 am

I would like to set the record straight and let it be known, here and now, that it was I who first quipped on Twitter: “Does the Appalachian Trail run all the way down to Argentina?” Perhaps my list will be Gubernatorial Pickup Lines (#gubernatorialpickuplines), and No. 1 will be “I like your tan lines.”

anna June 29, 2009 at 7:10 am

lol that’s a good one!

Juliet Grossman June 29, 2009 at 8:11 am

Funny list! So much going on in the news these days.

I have my list of vacation packing mishaps up here.

Kerry June 29, 2009 at 11:38 am

BWAHAHAHA.

That guy is actually really lucky that Michael Jackson died, or this would be worse.

My list is up.

Ginger June 29, 2009 at 1:41 pm

I agree with Kerry–if MJ hadn’t died, this guy would be wishing he had stayed missing….

My list is up.

Tim G June 29, 2009 at 2:20 pm

If I were unaware of the story that led you to this list, it would still be funny and understandable. You would think that with only 50 governors at a time, we wouldn’t see so many issues. Compared to the current 100 senators, isn’t the fail rate higher?

eliz June 29, 2009 at 9:48 pm

Holy cow, what a day. List is done and up. Finally.

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