- The Real Housewives of Greenwich, CT. OR The Real Housewives of Pasadena, CA
Source of Money: Oh, we don’t talk about that
Favorite Drink: Highballs and mimosas
Favorite Designers: Brooks Brothers, Lily Pullitzer
Predominant Building Materials Used In Construction of Homes: Brick or Craftsman wood
Flagship Foible: Once a housewife was caught wearing a colorful outfit to tennis match. Once.
- The Real Housewives of Hilton Head, SC
SAME AS ABOVE, EXCEPT ON VACATION
- The Real Housewives of Portland, OR
Source of Money: Originally, logging. But assets moved to APPL in early 80s.
Favorite Drink: Chai Latte from Peet’s.
Favorite Designers: Stella McCartney, Linda Loudermilk
Predominant Building Materials Used in Construction of Houseboats: Reclaimed wood. Or bamboo. Or anything that floats.
Flagship Foible: A housewife once bought a “fake” fur hat that she eventually realized was real. Left with no choice but to throw red paint on herself.
- The Real Housewives of Saddle River, NJ
- The Real Housewives of Dallas, TX
Source of Money: Black gold, baby.
Favorite Drink: Pink drinks. Any kind.
Favorite Designers: Dior and New Skool Vuitton
Predominant Building Materials Used in Construction of Hair: Aqua Net
Flagship Foible: A housewife was caught at the grocery store without makeup, with her hair in a ponytail. But she was new in town, the wife of somebody’s brother, so people cut her some slack.
- The Real Housewives of Grosse Pointe, MI
Source of Money: Auto industry (now defunct)
Favorite Drink: Martinis. But anything that is stiff will do.
Favorite Designers: Ralph Lauren. We like to buy American, even if it’s made by children in Peru.
Predominant Building Materials Used In Construction of Denial: See “Favorite Drink”
Flagship Foible: One housewife wears white after Labor Day, crisis and drama ensues.
- The Real Housewives of The Hollywood Hills, CA
Source of Money: Entertainment
Favorite Drink: Whatever the hot drink is right now at
Jones Concorde LAX Geisha House HydeBoulevard3
Splendid Vince. J Brand Tory BurchSerfontaine
Predominant Building Materials Used in Construction of Artifice: Silicone
Flagship Foible: One housewife bought a new home so high up on the hill that she discovered one day, to her horror, that her area code was now 818.
Source of Money: Varies. But involves inventing terms like “fabulosity” and constructing oneself as a “mogul”
Favorite Drink: Alizé
Favorite Designers: House of Deréon
Predominant Building Materials Used in Construction of Empire: Varies, but often involves exploitation of own demographic. And adding superfluous accent aigus to other made-up words.
Flagship Foible: One housewife allowed her new assistant to walk in the front door instead of the service entrance in front of cameras, thus risking the entire class apparatus of the compound.
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