11 Things That Change For The Better After You Lose Your Phony Euro Non-Landed Title To Divorce

by anna on April 6, 2009

  1. You can drink beer out of a bottle again.
  2. You never have to play doubles tennis with a guy wearing floral shorts again.
  3. You may not be a Countess anymore, but at least you don’t have CRAZY EYES.
  4. No more confusion on magazine subscription cards–happily check “Ms.” and be done with it.
  5. Next time you write a book on etiquette, you can come up with a good title that actually makes people want to buy the book.
  6. No more “family pride” trips to the Statue of Liberty. (BOR-ING! LULZ)
  7. You can try out your talking quietly method of seduction on a whole new, younger generation of men: the baby boomers this time!
  8. If you can still afford a driver, you can now be introduced to him by your first name only.
  9. No more of those annoying bi-monthly dinners and wifely duties visits from the Count.
  10. [singlepic=531,320,240,,right]It will be nice to stop appearing at public events with a dead ringer for Dr. Strangelove.
  11. No more long drawn out explanations of what exactly a Countess is to the group of underprivileged children to whom you’re “giving back.” And who couldn’t care less.

Got a list to share? Here’s what to do:

  1. Write a “list” post on your blog.
  2. Copy this code, and paste in the text of your post:
  3. Either comment or email me at anna at abdpbt View definition in a new window dot com to let me know you’re participating, and I’ll link you up below.

Check out these list lovers:

  1. ABDPBT Personal Finance
  2. Kerry at ClueWagon
  3. Elizabeth at Half Baked, Twice As Good
  4. Eliz at Tink’s Mom Dot Com
  5. Emily at I Did It For Me
  6. Cody at Humangirl

{ 6 comments }

Kerry April 6, 2009 at 5:19 am

Love this. Especially #7. That whole scene gave me hives.

My list is up.

Kerry´s last blog post..10 Ways to Prepare for a Phone Interview

Elizabeth April 6, 2009 at 5:55 am

Hilarious! List up.

Elizabeth´s last blog post..Things I would do if I lost my job today

eliz April 6, 2009 at 3:34 pm

I saw #11 on Hulu or somewhere and could barely believe what I was seeing. Hilarious list.

Mine’s up, finally.

eliz April 6, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Bwaaahaa! Did you see this blurb about the Countess’ book?

“Being an extremely low-born and gauche person, I rely heavily on the Countess for tips on good manners and etiquette. She has also taught me how to be more sassy and alluring.”
-Simon Doonan, creative director of Barney’s New York, author of Eccentric Glamour

That has got to be a backhanded slam.

Emily April 6, 2009 at 8:45 pm

http://etherealred.com/2009/04/06/illness-death-and-a-bit-of-good-news/

I made a list, but yours is way more interesting than mine for sure!

Emily´s last blog post..Illness, Death, and A Bit Of Good News

Cody April 6, 2009 at 9:20 pm

I haven’t joined in for awhile… but, I just posted mine.

Cody´s last blog post..Baby Rabies

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