18 Baby Gift Ideas For Your Neighbor Who Just Had Octuplets

by anna on March 2, 2009

  1. A copy of Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Probably want to get this in audiobook format.
  2. A Netflix subscription, for her “me” time away from the kids.
  3. Actually–who are we kidding? Scratch that last one.
  4. A pack of those “Hello, My Name Is” stickers so she doesn’t forget anyone–Mommy brain! LULZ.
  5. Call the Dr. Phil Show and arrange for an appearance/free therapy session.
  6. Help her with brainstorming possible answers to Dr. Phil’s inevitable questions about when she plans to get “off the wrong track” and get on “the right train.”
  7. A makeover, so she can feel pretty! Maybe call that plastic surgeon who did Kate’s tummy tuck on Jon and Kate Plus 8.
  8. A gift certificate for Mommy & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me classes.
  9. Take her out to breakfast at Denny’s, where kids eat free! As long as you go from 4:00pm-10:00pm on Tuesdays.
  10. Arrange for a free membership to plentyoffish.com, because now that she’s not pregnant anymore, she’ll want to get back to finding her own private Brad Pitt.
  11. A copy of I’m OK, You’re OK. Again, probably on audiobook.
  12. Print up a bunch of those free Quizno’s sandwich coupons for her, because breastfeeding burns a lot of calories.
  13. 8 baby swings, 8 cribs, 4 double strollers, 16 bouncy chairs, 80 bottles, 8 miracle blankets, 800 pacifiers, 8000 diapers, 1 pair of baby shoes, 1 baby hat, 16 extra sets of arms.
  14. A breast pump, freezing envelopes, and an industrial-sized freezer in which to store them.
  15. Offer to babysit three of the kids while she is interviewed by Charlie Gibson.
  16. Offer to hire 4-5 more babysitters to watch the rest of the kids while she is interviewed by Charlie Gibson.
  17. A signed headshot of Angelina Jolie with a side order of Reality Check.
  18. Offer to film her audition tape for Extreme Home Makeover.

Check out these list lovers:

  1. ABDPBT Personal Finance
  2. Kerry at Clue Wagon
  3. Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie
  4. Elizabeth at Half Baked, Twice as Good
  5. Emily at Recovery Rocks
  6. Jenni at Oscarelli
  7. Ginger at Ramble Ramble
  8. Eliz at Tink’s Mom Dot Com


Kerry March 2, 2009 at 5:30 am

Ohhhhh, number 8! Number 8! Must not read these lists while drinking Diet Coke.

My list is up.

Laurin March 2, 2009 at 6:09 am

Enjoyed this. It woke me up. If she gets an Extreme Home Makeover I’m going to go postal.

P.S. Comment Luv must hate me. I’ve moved on. I have.

Laurin´s last blog post..I’ve Got Missedblissdomitis. Bad.

Ginny Marie March 2, 2009 at 6:33 am

Better get those name tags…I’m always calling my kids the wrong name, and I only have two! Can you imagine the amount of time it would take to get through 8 names, plus the six names of the kids she already has?

I have a list up.

Ginny Marie´s last blog post..Seven Philosophies

Margarita March 2, 2009 at 7:58 am

OMG This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. The post title alone made me laugh. Hilarious! Love the Denny’s point!

Margarita´s last blog post..Monday Muse

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) March 2, 2009 at 8:30 am

For real on that reality check. I’d also be willing to go halfs on a package of ‘get a clue.’ And a cookie bouquet.

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)´s last blog post..in my mind, this was a shorter post; however, it’s sweet, so stick with it.

Elizabeth March 2, 2009 at 9:52 am

This is tooooooo freakin’ funny. I agree with every one of those. Posted a list of my own this morning.

Elizabeth´s last blog post..You make me crazy when…

becky March 2, 2009 at 10:29 am

Oh god, definitely the “Hello my name is” tags, ’cause those babies all have made up names like “McCai” and “Nariah.” Actually they almost all in in “iah,” so I think some confusion is inevitable.

becky´s last blog post..Hello Snow! And a Bloggy Project.

Emily March 2, 2009 at 10:36 am
jenni March 2, 2009 at 11:33 am

seriously, I need name tags and I only have two kids.

my list is up :)

J. March 2, 2009 at 12:14 pm

I’d laugh if I weren’t too busy cringing and wincing. I know I’m being all judgmental, but WTF??, somebody’s gotta show some judgement. Human beings are just not meant to have litters.

J.´s last blog post..Three 80′s Songs and Their Specific Meaning To Me

anna March 2, 2009 at 12:38 pm

@J., I was really debating about how far I could go with the litter jokes, but was ultimately more conservative. The nametag one came from when a friend of mine had a dog who had puppies, they would color on them in different colored markers to keep them straight. I considered doing that but ultimately chickened out!

Ginger March 2, 2009 at 12:22 pm

That woman needs so much more than a reality check, but failing that, your list is the next best thing.

My list is up.

Ginger´s last blog post..8 tips for landlords from a possible tenant

eliz March 2, 2009 at 7:09 pm

This is seriously funny.
After an ENTIRE DAY without Internet access (thanks to the 4 inches of snow that fell in Dixie last night), I have a list up.

eliz´s last blog post..Things I Considered Giving Up (or Doing) for Lent

maggie March 3, 2009 at 12:04 am

yeah, you know she’s calling extreme home makeover!!

Becca March 4, 2009 at 11:19 am

I think name tags would make any household run more smoothly. Although I think people around here know who I am talking to based on tone of voice alone.

Becca´s last blog post..Four days and counting

Nicky @ Magic Wallet May 13, 2009 at 6:21 am

hahahhaha…i was i a bad mood today but this made my day… thx

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