7th Biannual ABDPBT Sucky Sweepstakes: Win a $100 Visa Giftcard! It’s a Veritable Holiday Season Extravaganza of Stupid!–Time’s up, SUCKAHS. Winner TBA.

by anna on December 16, 2008

[singlepic=76,320,240,,right] That’s right, it’s that time again! I’d like to announce the seventh installment in my series of transparent self-promoting sweepstakes giveaways! As part of the ABDPBT View definition in a new window Holiday Season Extravaganza of Stupid, I’ll be giving away a gift card every week until Christmas. Spread the holiday cheer, I always say. And, more importantly, spread the stupid!

As was the case with last week’s contest, there are two ways to enter:

  1. Find a candidate for “This Week in Stupid.” You may draw your example of stupid from news stories, popular culture, or your own life; the only requirement is that it demonstrates the wider cultural paradigm of stupidity that needs to be dissected so that it might be eliminated. Once you’ve located your candidate, post the story in the comments to this post.
  2. -or-

  3. The second option copies a technique I saw deployed yesterday, and that I’ve been kicking myself ever since for not thinking of first. You tweet this:

    RT @abdpbt View definition in a new window is giving away a $100 Visa Gift Card on her blog–tweet or comment to enter http://www.abdpbt View definition in a new window.com/?p=722

    And that’s it.

Now, since I’m feeling nice today, I’ve decided that you can enter both ways: once each. As always, it is up to you to sell your stupid, and I promise to be completely arbitrary and unfair in my choice of winner for the gift card. The deadline is really soon. Like, really, really, soon. But prolly not before 8:30 am PST, just because I might not be up by then. But you know, soon. So post those stupids in the comment section of this post ASAP and/or get tweeting before I cut you off, or it’s NO $100 VISA GIFT CARD FOR YOU!!

Oh, and by the way, although they certainly deserve it, nobody gets to enter “Dreamhost” for their craptastic hosting service of ABDPBT View definition in a new window this week. I’ve got dibs on that one, mmkay?

Good luck!

{ 22 comments }

goodfather December 16, 2008 at 8:19 am

FIRST!!!!!

And my stupid story is from my own life: my son’s school district is running 2 hours late (AGAIN) today because it’s cold out.

Twenty Four At Heart December 16, 2008 at 8:25 am

STUPID …. had a mammogram last week. Got a call yesterday that they “found an abnormality” and want me to come back in. It’s “urgent.” But they can’t get me in till this afternoon …. so I get to spend a full 24 hours (including all night) FREAKING OUT about it. STUPID! Why not give call backs appointments the same day if it’s so “urgent”?????

Marci December 16, 2008 at 8:41 am

Giving this another shot…..

WESTMINSTER, Calif. – A suspicious surplus of Christmas spirit led to the arrest of a man in Southern California.

Westminster police say officers responded to a disturbance call at the house of 48-year-old Vuong Pham, where they found rooms overflowing with wicker reindeer, plastic snowmen and inflatable Santas.

For weeks people in Pham’s Orange County neighborhood had reported a steady disappearance of lights, figures and faux trees from their front yards.

Police say they connected the thefts to Pham after looking through his house and arrested him Monday on suspicion of grand theft and possession of stolen property.

Officer Cameron Knauerhaze says it took three trucks to take all the Christmas contraband to the station. Police weren’t clear on the motive.

Tristan December 16, 2008 at 8:55 am

Did the Twitter thing…thanks for the giveaway!

Sara December 16, 2008 at 9:16 am

Hi Anna,

I’m a relatively new reader here. My entry of stupid is this article from the Chicago Tribune–apparently, they just got work that walking on icy sidewalks can sometimes make people slip and fall!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-ice-16-dec16,0,5416340.story

But for me, the best part is at the end:

For some pedestrians, however, fashion was more important.

Lisa Schwam, 40, of Lakeview ventured out in 4-inch Christian Louboutin pumps. The court reporter looked for sidewalks with few icy patches, navigated around the slick spots and held onto strangers and walls on her way to a client’s office.

But after nearly slipping on the ice, she rethought her choice of footwear.

“Why should I look cute when I can fall and crack my head open.”

She HELD ONTO STRANGERS. Imagine walking to work in the morning, trying not to fall on the ice, when a woman in four-inch heels grabs your arm as she teeters along. Seriously! I hope you feel lucky to live in LA when you read stories like that!

Love the blog. :)

PauvrePlume December 16, 2008 at 9:35 am

Have you ever seen the piece of Julia Roberts splendidness that is Sleeping With the Enemy? You know how, in the movie, she finds cans in her kitchen cupboards uniformly turned, and towels in her bathroom anally straightened, which represented the equivalent of a note reading “OCD stalker husband was here”? (sidenote: my mom bears an uncanny resemblance to pretty woman’s OCD stalker husband)

Well, some chick in Omaha had the fright of her life last week when she returned home and found her home freakily disheveled. Did they take her TV? Nope, that was still there. Did they take her creepy cat’s eye wall clock? Nope, intact. What were those b@stard burglars after?! Well, after taking an in-depth inventory of her goods, she frantically called the cops to report that the thieves made a stealth getaway with… wait for it… her tuna sandwich. Oh, and four beers. Don’t forget the four beers.

Source: http://www.wowt.com/home/headlines/35867059.html

Oh, but while the story itself is pretty d@mn fantastic, some of the reader comments totally put it over the edge:

1. “Classic example of why you should not smoke pot before commiting a burglary. I’ll bet she had some chips and ice cream missing as well.”

2. “My neighbor, he didn’t have a tuna sandwich…So I gave him my tuna sandwich, and now I don’t have a tuna sandwich.”

3. “It was probably her son.”

PauvrePlume´s last blog post..10 Things my mom would say if she walked in my living room right now

Deb December 16, 2008 at 10:06 am

Executive training seminars are horrible constructs of our business community. You spend a lot of money to hang out in a fake-walled room of a nice resort while watching Powerpoint slides about one topic or another, trying to stay awake until the 3rd snack break of the day arrives, receiving a marginal amount of information that could have been delivered to you in at least four other more effective ways. Viva la “professional development.”

I love this stupid story.
Kidnapping Negotiator Is Now a Victim in Mexico
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/16/world/americas/16mexico.html?_r=2&hp
MEXICO CITY — An American security consultant who has helped negotiate the release of scores of kidnapping victims in Latin America was himself kidnapped last week in northern Mexico after delivering a seminar there on how to avoid that fate, officials said Monday.

The F.B.I. and Mexican law enforcement officials are investigating the abduction, which took place Wednesday evening in Saltillo, an industrial city a three-hour drive from the Texas border.

The consultant, Felix Batista, 55, was giving security seminars for business owners in Coahuila State when he was abducted by a group of armed men.
***
You just know he’s going to be able to pack his rooms even fuller now that he’s a celebrity.

Ginger December 16, 2008 at 10:37 am

I went the twitter route again. Unless you want to count me dropping my Christmas packages in the rain yesterday as my stupid story.

Ginger´s last blog post..Today sucks and other rays of sunshine

Amy December 16, 2008 at 10:57 am

Burglar: Ghost held me captive for 3 days

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28205738/

Now that’s a security system.

And my 2nd runner up? My husband, last April, installed a security system in our house without consulting me. I was fairly livid. Last night we were talking about our finances, and I suggested canceling the security system. And he said, a bit sheepishly, “we signed a 5-year contract.”

Amy´s last blog post..So Much Fun!

N.C. Winters December 16, 2008 at 11:00 am

I’m with Ginger on the twitter route, but I do have both a huge love of observing stupid as well as a rather natural penchant for it myself. Awesome, I got to use “penchant” before 10AM!

While nothing specific in the extra-stupid category jumps out at me recently, I am famous for my losing of keys. While not very stupid, I will usually tear the whole house apart rather than search in the most obvious places.

“Are they in the bowl on the kitchen table where they usually are? There’s a shirt over the bowl, most likely covering the keys.”

No, I’ll go ahead and look in the corner inside the closet behind the suitcase or in the washing machine where I’m sure we must have missed hearing 12 keys rattle around on “gentle”. The extra-stupid part is once said keys are found, I’ll figure out some brilliant way to lose them again in a matter of seconds. Usually in the form of leaving them in the fridge after I’ve pulled out a snack. This of course, explains why I look in the least obvious place to begin with when searching for simple objects.

N.C. Winters´s last blog post..Reverse Alchemy Freelance Freedom…

Meryl December 16, 2008 at 11:01 am

This was beyond stupid:

Chatting with my riding teacher Dayle online about her old horse she’d just rescued, saying how I understood her feelings; I was so desperate to liberate my old mare, Evil from the hellhole she’s been living in and would do anything to get her back … Dayle mentioned that she thought our mutual friend Mands had said that the mare had been sold or given to someone or other; she wasn’t sure.

A bit of background: I left the farm where I used to ride Evil in January this year. I had 2 horses standing at Spires in the extreme North of Johannesburg, and the timing and travel out to the farm in the extreme South was killing me.
I had been riding at the farm for 14 years and so I approached the owner with a (5 figure) offer (approx. 10 times what she was worth) to purchase Evil and take her to Spires. He and his son basically turned me down absolutely flat; saying she wasn’t for sale, they wanted to breed with the 20yr old pony mare and they could make too much money from her. However, the son did tell me that in the extremely unlikely event that she was for sale, he’d let me know first. I cut my very very heartsore losses there and left.

Anyway, back to this morning and I immediately beetled off to find Mands and asked her if Evil had been sold, and Mands told me yes, the owner of the farm had told her Evil had been sold to some woman he didn’t know. Which sounded a bit fishy to me, but I figured that at least now I’d have a genuine chance to buy her.

Four hours of phone calls and emails later, the truth emerged that the owner had lied; that she had been allowed to get so thin and neglected that she needed special treatment (which clearly she didn’t get enough of) and had died a month previously.

That level of stupidity ended up killing a beautiful horse, breaking my heart and they made absolutely no money off her at all. The REALLY stupid thing is this exact same scenario has happened on the same farm many times previously.

Why don’t people learn from their (business and ethical) mistakes?

Laura December 16, 2008 at 11:14 am

Talk About Lack of Support from Your Co-Workers …

I just came across a story about a 60-year-old Tokyo man who, in celebration of his retirement, was thrown into the air by his colleagues. The problem? They failed to catch him on the way back down.

The man’s wife filed a criminal negligence lawsuit against the 40 unnamed colleagues after her husband suffered severe damage that left him paralyzed and eventually dead. I’ve heard of not getting a lot of support at work, but this is ridiculous!

Monica December 16, 2008 at 11:23 am

WOW… talk about bad luck (with a rather large helping of STUPID on the side!).

Source: http://www.thewayofthegeek.org

<>

Thanks!

Monica December 16, 2008 at 11:24 am

Crap! Let’s try that again… Here’s the story!

First off, we’ve got a story out of the Netherlands, where a 21-year old Dutch man is now recovering from a disastrous mooning accident.

This moron and two of his friends decided it would be funny to flash some pressed hams against a large restaurant window and moon the occupants trying to enjoy a nice dinner. But karma intervened, and the glass shattered against the heavy Dutchman’s rump, slicing said pressed ham up like so much deli meat. This is the worst group booty-exposing backfire since that guy in Braveheart caught an arrow in the ass during that mooning scene.

Now, people, normally, a person outgrows pranks like mooning around the time they hit puberty, except for periods of regression fueled by copious amounts of alcohol, which is quite likely a factor in this case; if not, then this goes beyond moronic to a special place of pathetic. Come on now, if you’re gonna do something so stupid and immature, you deserve what you get.

kristin December 16, 2008 at 1:07 pm

I’m Tweeting (twittering) about you!

I’ll be on the lookout for stupid, too!

kristin´s last blog post..A few confessions

kristin December 16, 2008 at 1:14 pm

Hmmmm. STUPID…there’s so much around….
Here’s one close to home for me though… DH wasn’t feeling good for a month (like feeling nauseous every day is normal when you;re not PREGNANT). After a month of nagging I get him to see his dr. After blood tests, the dr calls us at 10 PM, yes, PM to go to the ER. NOW. Turns out a high calcium level put him at risk for arrythmia and stroke. Fun, huh? So, anyway, turns out it’s a hyperparatyhroid gland – easy operation, quick fix. Ohhh, noooooo. It caused kidney failure. He’s now home after a week-long hospital stay, but now has gout (another lovely kidney complication), and a slew of other lingering issues.
Can you say “STUPID”? Men, meh. Drive me crazy every day.

Hey, at least he’s home now. Maybe he’ll listen to me next time

kristin´s last blog post..A few confessions

J. December 16, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Here’s one that particularly blows my mind: http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/today/index.ssf/2008/12/holland_township_family_angry.html
What the fuck were his parents thinking?? I mean, there are awful names, but that’s just CRUEL.

J.´s last blog post..In A "P" Mood

PauvrePlume December 16, 2008 at 9:50 pm

WHOA. That last entry (J’s) isn’t stupid so much as incredibly horrifying and depressing. Those poor kids have been marked from birth by their parents’ hateful ideologies… Nice job, parents. Way to offer your children the opportunity to think for themselves and make up their own minds about the world… NOT.

Ugh. I feel ill.
:(

PauvrePlume´s last blog post..10 Things my mom would say if she walked in my living room right now

Kerry December 17, 2008 at 7:27 am

Okay, I read all of these, and now I am too depressed to go find something stupid that doesn’t involve someone I personally know and therefore cannot trash on the internet while using my real name. I’m still figuring out Twitter, because apparently I am elderly and unskilled and cannot work with these newfangled gadgets. I’m so not going to win this week.

I did see someone chipping ice off of his windshield with a screwdriver on Monday. That’s pretty stupid. Everyone knows you’re supposed to use a credit card. Maybe we are in such dire financial straits that people no longer have credit cards to use as ice scrapers.

Kerry December 17, 2008 at 7:29 am

Oh, and J’s story above appears to be from Pennsylvania, the place with a congressman who got in trouble for saying that people there are racist. That would be sort of funny, if it didn’t involve small children.

Stephanie December 17, 2008 at 9:27 am

I’m tweeting about this!

Stephanie December 17, 2008 at 9:32 am

This week in stupid: Man tries to pay court fine in pennies; court demands cash. Pennies are cash.. haha get it? I’m so dumb.

Anywho, here’s the link. http://wcbstv.com/watercooler/pennies.traffic.ticket.2.888243.html

Comments on this entry are closed.