6th Biannual ABDPBT Sucky Sweepstakes: Win Another $100 American Express Giftcard! It’s a Veritable Holiday Season Extravaganza of Stupid! Time’s up, SUCKAHS! Winner Announced Tomorrow; Check Back Next Week for Next Sucky Sweepstakes!

by anna on December 9, 2008

[singlepic=333,540,330,,center]
[singlepic=76,320,240,,right] That’s right, it’s that time again! I’d like to announce the sixth installment in my series of transparent self-promoting sweepstakes giveaways! As part of the ABDPBT View definition in a new window Holiday Season Extravaganza of Stupid, I’ll be giving away a gift card every week until Christmas. Spread the holiday cheer, I always say. And, more importantly, spread the stupid!

As was the case with last week’s contest, there are two ways to enter:

  1. Find a candidate for “This Week in Stupid.” You may draw your example of stupid from news stories, popular culture, or your own life; the only requirement is that it demonstrates the wider cultural paradigm of stupidity that needs to be dissected so that it might be eliminated. Once you’ve located your candidate, post the story in the comments to this post.
  2. -or-

  3. The second option copies a technique I saw deployed yesterday, and that I’ve been kicking myself ever since for not thinking of first. You tweet this:

    RT @abdpbt View definition in a new window is giving away a $100 American Express Gift Card on her blog–tweet or comment to enter http://www.abdpbt View definition in a new window.com/?p=541

    And that’s it.

Now, since I’m feeling nice today, I’ve decided that you can enter both ways: once each. As always, it is up to you to sell your stupid, and I promise to be completely arbitrary and unfair in my choice of winner for the gift card. The deadline is really soon. Like, really, really, soon. But prolly not before 8:30 am PST, just because I might not be up by then. But you know, soon. So post those stupids in the comment section of this post ASAP and/or get tweeting before I cut you off, or it’s NO $100 AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARD FOR YOU!!

Good luck!

{ 23 comments }

Marci December 9, 2008 at 6:25 am

NYC Man Spends $7,500 Fighting $115 Ticket
Retiree Says He’s Got ‘Nothing Else To Do’
Monday, December 8, 2008

NEW YORK — A retired New York City man said he’s spent $7,500 fighting a $115 parking ticket because he’s got “nothing else to do.”

Former electrical hardware firm vice president Simon Belsky said he was erroneously ticketed two years ago. The 63-year-old said the ticket cites his van for blocking a Brooklyn fire hydrant even though the only hydrant on the street was down the block.

The November 2006 fine has ballooned from $115 to about $200 with penalties.

Belsky was in court last week and is due back Feb. 2. He said if he wins he’ll file a civil suit against the city to recover the $7,500 he’s spent on legal work. He said if any compensation is awarded he’ll donate it to educational programs.

Deb December 9, 2008 at 7:51 am

Here is the stupidest thing I’ve seen all week. Yes, it’s only Tuesday, but I am confident that while I will see many more stupid things this week, it will remain my pick for defining cultural stupidity.

http://mightygirl.com/2008/11/20/spoiling-the-surprise/
Leads to a blog post featuring an Etsy item for an $18 felted red and pink vagina pin accented with a pearl clitoris. A pin that should not be made, sold, or worn. Now, this particular blogger is well known for advising people about what is cool to buy and wear, and it is possible that she posted the pin ironically. But I don’t think so. So truly, every part of this story is stupid, including the blogosphere’s devotion to all things Etsy as well as a certain vagina monologue devotion to the labia motif, however crudely presented.

Should I be lucky enough to win the gift card, I will most likely put it towards the purchase of real jewely. If I decide I want to use it to buy access to a clitoris, my purchase will not be surrounded with felt.

Deb´s last blog post..Between you and me, Rachel Maddow is after me

Kerry December 9, 2008 at 8:10 am

Apparently pot really DOES make you stupid.

Woman who asked state trooper if she could smoke accused of lighting up marijuana joint

MUNCIE, Ind. (AP) — Police said a woman was arrested after asking a state trooper whether she could smoke – and then trying to light up a marijuana joint. Honesty Knight, 32, was a passenger in a vehicle that Trooper Eric Perkins pulled over for a traffic violation early Friday. While the trooper was talking to the driver, Knight obtained the trooper’s permission to smoke.

Police say Perkins then asked to see the cigarette, which contained marijuana, not tobacco.

Knight faces a preliminary charge of possession of paraphernalia. She was released from jail on bond, but couldn’t be located for comment because no home telephone number was listed in her name.

goodfather December 9, 2008 at 8:12 am

Bush boogie 2:10
A month left and Bush is playing ball, fist-bumping Santa and doing the boogie. CNN’s Jeanne Moos on his quirks and tics.

Bush boogie

weezy December 9, 2008 at 8:34 am

Derrick Rose’s NBA career is off to a phenomenal start. The number one overall pick is averaging 18 points and six assists so far in his rookie year, he’s already become the leader of his Chicago Bulls squad, and his highlight reel moves are electrifying crowds across the land. It seems the only thing that can stop this wunderkind is the sinister threat of raw unsliced produce.

Derrick Rose isn’t practicing Monday after needing 10 stitches to close a gash in his arm. The Bulls said Rose suffered the injury when he rolled over onto a knife he was using to carve an apple while in bed.

Kerry December 9, 2008 at 8:35 am

Oh, also, we are having a big snowstorm here, and a guy across the street is moving into the vacant house there. In shorts. This does not bode well for his potential as a neighbor who isn’t a moron.

Becky December 9, 2008 at 9:05 am

I’m scared, ’cause last week I got yelled at. But I offer this, as its punchline has entered the lexicon of stupid around our house:

One day in 12th grade, we were all minding our business in Physics class, listening to the teacher, Mr. K, enumerating the myriad beauties of F=ma. Suddenly, a pretty but non-studious girl shot her hand into the air. She was practically hopping out of her seat. When the teacher called on her, she said, “Mr. K, can monkeys talk now?”

We now use this question to mean, “I know this isn’t what you’re trying to tell me, but I have this urgent need to know this other thing, which may sound stupid but I really need to know.”

Becky´s last blog post..6 Elements of a Happy Birthday

Ginny Marie December 9, 2008 at 9:30 am

Yes, I live in this great state which can only seem to elect criminals. Former Gov. Ryan is still in prison for license plate fraud; now this:
CHICAGO – Federal authorities arrested Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich Tuesday on charges that he brazenly conspired to sell or trade the Senate seat left vacant by President-elect Barack Obama to the highest bidder.

Ginny Marie´s last blog post..Why is it that…

the ex December 9, 2008 at 10:10 am

Tweeted: http://twitter.com/exeverything/status/1047399671

I want to win. That’s all I’m saying about that.

the ex´s last blog post..Five Signs I’m Too Fucking Old.

Amy December 9, 2008 at 12:24 pm

I vote for Marci’s, as that was going to be my entry. The best I can come up with is

“Woman smuggles monkey under blouse” http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28119664/

That just sounds like a euphemism- but for what, I don’t know. (Also tweeted.)

Amy´s last blog post..Monday blahs

Kerry December 9, 2008 at 12:44 pm

I need to learn to tweet. That seems like a valuable life skill all of a sudden.

kristin/kwr221 December 9, 2008 at 12:48 pm

I Tweeted you, if I can narrow down the numerous candidates for stupid (besides my 13 year old – but that could be a factor of his age and hormones), I’ll send you a stupid story, too.

kristin/kwr221´s last blog post..Hi Ho, Hi Ho…

Angela December 9, 2008 at 1:13 pm

Okay,
I’ve got two.
#1) My dad visited my great-uncle Louie (who is really a bastard of a person) on his death-bed this past week. When my dad returned to my house, he showed me a photograph of Louie that he had taken on his new G3 phone. My uncle’s cheeks were sallow, his face was pale, and he did indeed look as though he were dying. I never liked the guy, but I still felt sorry for him. It was weird enough that my dad decided to photograph this and show it to me, but then he zoomed in on the photo and began flipping it around. “This phone is awesome,” he said. Stupidest, most ridiculous thing of my week.

#2) Kinda old, but: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27963920/

Thanks! :)

Angela´s last blog post..on a lighter note

Angela December 9, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Sorry, I realize this extra entry might disqualify me, but last night my stepmom called me and asked me how to make fruit punch for my little brother’s birthday party. I told her, “Go to the store and buy Hawaiian Punch.” And, I swear to you this is true, she said, “Let me get a pen.”

Angela´s last blog post..on a lighter note

Joanne December 9, 2008 at 1:50 pm

I twittered it from Outrageous_JEM

Amy- playhereoften.com December 9, 2008 at 2:48 pm

What do you do when chosen for a coveted position in Obama’s administration?

Post some pictures of yourself feeling up (a cardboard) Hillary Clinton, of course!

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/12/04/one_more_question.html

Amy- playhereoften.com´s last blog post..Closet Clean out

Tracy Lynn December 9, 2008 at 2:55 pm

So I Twittered and now, I shall tell you about Best Friend, who is dating a prostitute/junkie mother of a six year old, and, instead of breaking up with her because A) she never pays for anything but her own dope, B) she sleeps with strangers she meets on the Internet in Best Friend’s home, C) gives her drug connection sex for drugs, Best Friend just laughs an says she can’t help liking crazy bitches. In vain do I explain that 1) it’s not really funny and 2) knowing you are doing something phenomenally stupid doesn’t mean you should KEEP DOING IT. And this latest p/j is only one in a long line of crazy chicks my Best Friend has moved in with.

That’s what I usually refer to as FELONY STUPID. So stupid, it should be criminalized.

wordnerd December 9, 2008 at 3:01 pm

Check THIS out…http://tinyurl.com/5pj9to

wordnerd´s last blog post..Posting Blind

Stephanie December 9, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Renee December 9, 2008 at 4:20 pm

This week in STUPID: Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich is arrested for trying to sell Obama’s open Senate seat. Hahaha.

Mo December 9, 2008 at 4:37 pm

I tweeted. But I also have to tell you about the dumb chick at Longs last night. I bought a box of Tampax. They were 2 for $5. I only bought one box. The cashier sighed heavily, looked at me and said, “Do I really have to do the math on this?”

C’mon, really? And even if she couldn’t do the math, wouldn’t the register know how to do that? Common sense goes a long way sometimes.

Mo´s last blog post..Disgruntled

Laura December 9, 2008 at 4:39 pm

Thief hides stolen corndogs in pants; caught by security

… Or was he just happy to see him? So it looks like this brilliant Florida man stole a $6 pack of corn dogs and an 18-pack of Bud Light from the local Publix grocery store. He stashed the corn dogs in his pants (apparently the Bud Light didn’t fit?). He ended up getting away … but left his beer and cornbread-covered-meat-pieces-parts-on-a-stick behind. My question is whether they reshelved the corndogs or put them on the “priced for quick sale” cart!?!?!?!?

Here’s the link to the full story: http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/dec/08/no-place-beer-corn-dogs-hidden-down-pants-theft-at/

Joanne December 9, 2008 at 6:48 pm

Okay, here’s a good story. “Woman allegedly bites another in road-rage incident”

VISTA – A woman allegedly bit another woman during an apparent road rage confrontation Tuesday morning, authorities say.

Sheriff’s deputies, who were called about 11 a.m., were still investigating the incident Tuesday afternoon. “Both accused each other of being the aggressor,” sheriff’s Sgt. Rick Persichilli said.

The confrontation occurred in a parking lot near the Islands restaurant at South Melrose and Hacienda drives, just south of state Route 78, sheriff’s Lt. Mike McClain said.

During an altercation, one woman apparently bit the other on the hand or arm, McClain said. The woman believed to be the biter drove away and was stopped on Interstate 5 near Harbor Drive in Oceanside.

Persichilli said no one was hospitalized in the incident.

– Matthew Rodriguez

Source: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/northcounty/20081209-1650-bn09bite.html

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