18 Tweets You Might See, If Shakespeare Used Twitter

by anna on December 8, 2008


  1. Need Photoshop expert with mad skillz in hiding Adam’s apples. DM me if interested.
  2. Is it realistic that a king would be convinced his wife is unfaithful based only on a misplaced handkerchief? Pls tweet yes or no kthanxbai View definition in a new window.
  3. I’m not comfortable with the title of bard, yet. I think of myself as an OG Soneteer, really.
  4. Told @BenJonson I’d be in his play, as long as it wasn’t another freaky masque about mice or some shit. Dude needs to cut down on the absinthe.
  5. Just unfollowed @GuyKawasaki, dude still hasn’t put me in Alltop, and he updates too damn much about sidewalk chalk & other useless shit.
  6. Pshaw Virgin Queen! Virgin Queen my ass!
  7. Of course @KennethBrannaugh is too old 4 Hamlet! Was a 2-film deal w/ Sony tho. Still bitter about @MelG, too. @&%! Hollywood
  8. So, then, I was like, we can talk all you want about hacks for increasing productivity, but I don’t see anybody coming up with something better than a feather for me to write with.
  9. Added @CMarlowe to my blogroll, now that I’ve removed the no-asshats policy.
  10. Mtg at Koi 2nite w/ network execs re 12th nite pilot–wondering if I should lose the flavor-saver? http://twitpic.com/qux4
  11. @PornGirls69 Thanks for the follow back! Let’s keep tweeting.
  12. Haven’t tweeted in ten days. Fucking Twilight series!
  13. RT help @QueenE help you: theaters closed again #plague.
  14. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Nah.
  15. To those that unfollowed after the @CMarlowe tweet, whatevs, I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking.
  16. Looks like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays. I’m looking in your direction @SWRaleigh.
  17. Anybody ever notice that the Spaniards are always dressed in all black? What’s that about, do you think?
  18. Like the new album, but yeah, #KanyeWest is a total douchebag.

Everyone be sure to check out my guest post at Oscarelli today–and join me in hoping Jen’s little one turned around and is on his or her way tout de suite!

Got a list to share? Here’s what to do:

  1. Write a “list” post on your blog.
  2. Copy this code, and paste in the text of your post:
  3. Either comment or email me at anna at abdpbt View definition in a new window dot com to let me know you’re participating, and I’ll link you up below.

Check out these list lovers:

  1. ABDPBT Personal Finance
  2. Crazylovescompany
  3. Michele at Dogslife
  4. Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie
  5. Keely at the Un-Mom
  6. Super Ninja Mommy
  7. Becky at Suburban Matron
  8. One Fine Neurotic Mess
  9. Ginger at Ramble Ramble
  10. the ex
  11. Wright Creativity
  12. Riayn at Rainbow of Chaos
  13. Pauvre Plume
  14. Souther’ Mother


Christine December 8, 2008 at 7:09 am

Absolutely brilliant list in both concept and execution!

Christine´s last blog post..Foodie Friday: Gingerbread Round Up

Michele December 8, 2008 at 7:28 am

Love the Shakespeare tweets. Very, very clever! LOL

I posted a list today then promptly made off with your button.

Ginny Marie December 8, 2008 at 7:36 am

I haven’t heard the new album, but totally agree with Shakespeare’s assessment of Kanye!

I have a new list up!

Ginny Marie´s last blog post..Why is it that…

Keely December 8, 2008 at 8:00 am

Hahhahahah, “fucking Twilight series”. Love it.

My lame attempt for the week is up.

Keely´s last blog post..Mime Massacre

Keely December 8, 2008 at 8:01 am

Er, except it’s not ‘Mime Massacre’, I don’t know why CommentLuv thinks it is.

Keely´s last blog post..Mime Massacre

Super Ninja Mommy December 8, 2008 at 8:12 am

Doin’ some list love at Two under Two this week…. http://2undertoo.blogspot.com/2008/12/listlessness-things-to-which-i-am.html

Super Ninja Mommy´s last blog post..LISTLESSNESS!! … Things to Which I am Addicted

eliz December 8, 2008 at 8:34 am


foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) December 8, 2008 at 8:39 am

Oh, how I’d love to hear Shakespeare give a big old “Meh…” to the Twilight series.

(I’m weeping that, even though I’ve subscribed to your blog, my Reader no longer lets me know you’ve updated. I must go beg a friend or two to get impregnated so I can buy them your suggested baby items!)

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)´s last blog post..‘you can’t escape the hours, you lose track of the days’

anna December 8, 2008 at 8:41 am

@fadkog, I’ve been fucking around with my feed of late, you might want to try resubscribing

anna December 8, 2008 at 9:02 am

Oh, and by the way, Google, if you would make the whole Adsense for Feeds initialization process easier, we wouldn’t have these kinds of problems.

becky December 8, 2008 at 9:17 am

Anna, you’ve outdone yourself! I love it, especially 15. And all of them!

My self-indulgent list is up.

becky´s last blog post..6 Elements of a Happy Birthday

Amy December 8, 2008 at 10:59 am

I hope you don’t find this too forward, but I think I might be in love with you.

the ex December 8, 2008 at 11:13 am

It’s sad how underappreciated this will be. I kirtsy’d it anyway. :)

the ex´s last blog post..Five Signs I’m Too Fucking Old.

Ginger December 8, 2008 at 11:40 am

This list is definitely the best thing I’ve read all day.

My list pales in comparison, but it’s up anyway.

Ginger´s last blog post..5 TV shows that are disappointing me

J. December 8, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Oh My God, that made me laugh!! Thanks!

J.´s last blog post..Right Now

anna December 8, 2008 at 1:03 pm

@Becky–you’re linked up, and Happy Birthday!
@Amy, will you take me to dinner first, at least?
@the ex–thanks for the kirtsy, my stats are up, so maybe there’s more of an “intellectual” constituency out there than we realized. . . . NAH. Probably the Kanye West reference.
@Ginger, thanks You’re linked up!
@J., I’m glad, because my husband was like, “Not funny. Not funny. Funny. Not funny,” for basically the whole list. I felt self-indulgent posting it.

Kerry December 8, 2008 at 1:10 pm

I thought it was funny, and I only have a bachelor’s degree. From a state school.

I have had a crush on Kenneth Brannaugh since, like, 1992, so maybe that’s it.

anna December 8, 2008 at 1:19 pm

@Kerry, wha . . . A STATE SCHOOL?! THYS. :)

My husband doesn’t like “literary humor” I guess. He just kept asking what the Spaniards one is about.

Amy December 8, 2008 at 1:29 pm

dinner, cookies, whatever you want. (Am now considering popping in Much Ado About Nothing.)

Amy´s last blog post..Six Miles, Bitches!

Deb December 8, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Fucking awesome. Seriously funny. 15 killed me.

Deb´s last blog post..Between you and me, Rachel Maddow is after me

JoeHageOnline.com December 8, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Inspired. Thanks for the midday chuckle.

Now I’m thinking of new lists to create … if I ever get around to it.

JoeHageOnline.com´s last blog post..Building a better Web site … with your help

Marie-The Snake Charmers December 8, 2008 at 4:21 pm

Hilarious! I love it. Dying to follow @Shakespeare now.

Marie-The Snake Charmers´s last blog post..Snakecharmers: Tonight Boston Legal ends! And, really now, what does ABC have to replace it? Really? C’mon.

PauvrePlume December 8, 2008 at 10:01 pm

Just finished my list. And it just hit midnight. Awesome.

ps) that collar TOTALLY makes Will’s butt look big. Cr@p.

PauvrePlume´s last blog post..15 December associations I tend to make

Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children December 9, 2008 at 1:45 pm


Added to my to-do list: Begin making FUNNY lists. Preferably lists inspired by twitter and/or Shakespeare.

Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children´s last blog post..You can call me Al (again)

Souther' Mother December 9, 2008 at 10:35 pm

In response to your brilliant Shakespeare/twitter list, I have written a surprisingly bitter post of why I hate Wal-Mart on my blog, inspired by some random tangent I got off on while responding to one of your older posts last night.

Souther’ Mother´s last blog post..Why I Hate Wal-Mart

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