Fifth Periweekly ABDPBT Sucky Sweepstakes! Just in Time for Conspicuous Consumerism: Win a $100 American Express Gift Card!–TIME’S UP, SUCKAHS! Winners TBA tomorrow, and Tune in Next Week–One Giveaway Per Week Until Xmas!

by anna on December 4, 2008

[singlepic=76,320,240,,right] That’s right, it’s that time again! I’d like to announce the fifth installment in my series of transparent self-promoting sweepstakes giveaways! We are shaking things up this time, so there are two different ways to enter:

  1. Find a candidate for “This Week in Stupid.” You may draw your example of stupid from news stories, popular culture, or your own life; the only requirement is that it demonstrates the wider cultural paradigm of stupidity that needs to be dissected so that it might be eliminated. Once you’ve located your candidate, post the story in the comments to this post.
  2. -or-

  3. The second option copies a technique I saw deployed yesterday, and that I’ve been kicking myself ever since for not thinking of first. You tweet this:

    RT @abdpbt View definition in a new window is giving away a $100 American Express Gift Card on her blog–tweet or comment to enter http://www.abdpbt View definition in a new

    And that’s it.

Now, since I’m feeling nice today, I’ve decided that you can enter both ways: once each. As always, it is up to you to sell your stupid, and I promise to be completely arbitrary and unfair in my choice of winner for the gift card. The deadline is really soon. Like, really, really, soon. But prolly not before 8:30 am PST, just because I might not be up by then. But you know, soon. So post those stupids in the comment section of this post ASAP and/or get tweeting before I cut you off, or it’s NO $100 AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARD FOR YOU!!

Good luck!


eliz December 4, 2008 at 8:04 am

I tweeted you.

As far as stupid, I suppose it’s a tossup between those three nitwit auto execs who think the American taxpayers – most of whom are too smart to buy American cars – are going to bail them out, or that Plaxico Burress character. It’s hard to beat Plaxico this week.

I’d also like to nominate his mother (or whomever) for naming him Plaxico. Though, to be fair, that bit of stupidity didn’t happen this week.

Marci December 4, 2008 at 8:07 am

Man Says He Accidentally Shot Wife During Sex

Police in Springfield, Ohio, are investigating after a man claimed to have accidentally shot his wife during sex.
Timothy Havens told police he was reaching for something on the night stand when the pistol went off, hitting his wife, Carolyn Havens, in the upper chest.
Carolyn, 42, is in critical condition in Miami Valley Hospital in Dayton, where she’s been since the Sunday shooting, according to the Columbia Dispatch.
Deputies said Carolyn has an active restraining order against her husband.
Deputies took Timothy into custody for further questioning and he could face charges for violating his restraining order.

Jen December 4, 2008 at 8:58 am

From Chamblee Police, GA – Stupid victim of year: A woman reported that she had been scammed by a deceitful telemarketer. The caller, claiming to be from the National Grants for Government, convinced her to send them $150. (For what, I do not know), and she sent the money to an address in India via Western Union. Later, feeling that she had been ripped off, she called a number provided by the telemarketer and demanded her money back. They agreed to send back her $150 if she would send them another $100. She sent more money and called us a few days later because she never received her refund.

Jen´s last blog post..Hi, remember me?

eliz December 4, 2008 at 9:17 am

Jen’s entry reminded me of another good one … Philadelphia police were able to nab 85 fugitives by sending them notices of fake refund checks. They show up expecting $1400, get arrested. The best part was that some were still asking about their money while they were being handcuffed.

Michael December 4, 2008 at 9:50 am

Here’s a lady at a local fast food restaurant who seemed to have never been to one before. Are we going to have to publish field manuals for ordering a double cheeseburger?

Overheard in a fast food line

Michael´s last blog post..Here’s A Cookie & $100 For Your 1.3 GPA

Amy December 4, 2008 at 10:05 am

I like “God ordered me to ram vehicle: A man who rammed his truck into a woman’s vehicle on a highway early Friday told authorities he crashed into her while going more than 100 mph because God told him “she needed to be taken off the road.”

Also – I will tweet you! (Or whatever, – that sounded kinda dirty).

Amy´s last blog post..Were You Looking for Me?

Chibi Jeebs December 4, 2008 at 10:08 am

THOMAS TOWNSHIP, Mich. – Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after “receiving sexual favors from a vacuum” at a car wash.

The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County’s Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.

The suspect, whose name wasn’t immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw County Jail.

Oy. Just oy. (And a little *snortlaugh*, too.)

Chibi Jeebs´s last blog post..What a weekend!

Danielle-lee December 4, 2008 at 10:31 am

I tweeted you!
My name on twitter is left_of_lost
Fun contest!!

Danielle-lee´s last blog post..The smell of memory

Kerry December 4, 2008 at 10:36 am

From the part of the country that is NOT clinging to guns and religion because they’re bitter, dammit:

Pa. pizzeria says venison isn’t going on pies despite cook carving deer in restaurant kitchen

ALLENTOWN, Pa. (AP) — A Pennsylvania pizzeria insists venison is not on the menu – despite the impression a customer may have gotten when she saw one of the cooks butchering a deer in the shop’s kitchen.

The manager of Stromboli Pizza in Allentown says a customer saw one of the restaurant cooks carving up a deer Tuesday. But John Okumus says the venison was not intended for the store.

He says he shot a doe during a hunt and left the carcass in the store’s kitchen for pickup by a friend. Okumus says a customer complained to the city health department after seeing a cook mistakenly butcher the deer.

The department investigated the incident but did not issue a citation.

becky December 4, 2008 at 10:55 am

Okay, my cousin-in-law just brought home a pit bull to keep his wife and newborn baby (!) safe while he’s at work. The family has expressed concern over this choice, but cousin-in-law insists that pit bulls have a bad rap and that the dog will think of the baby as “one of his cubs.”

WTF? Can one divorce her cousins-in-law? Also, dogs have cubs now. You’re welcome.

becky´s last blog post..Turtlemania

AKD December 4, 2008 at 11:55 am

Accused Drunken Driver Ends Up Running Over Self

When I saw the headline I thought “WHAT? How is that even possible?” and then when I read the story I was like, “I’m surprised that doesn’t happen more often.”

“A man is in a northern New Mexico jail, accused of driving drunk and leading police on a chase that finally ended with him running over himself. Roy Travis Aguilar, 21, was treated for minor injuries at a Santa Fe hospital and booked into the Sandoval County detention center on charges of aggravated driving while intoxicated, fleeing a police officer, careless driving and two other outstanding traffic warrants. A tip on a police hot line Sunday afternoon reported a possible drunken driver on a highway. State Police Officer Grace Romero spotted Aguilar’s pickup truck swerving across both lanes of the highway, driving slowly and then fast. He refused to stop. After narrowly missing other vehicles, police said Aguilar drove through a ditch and a barbed-wire fence before stopping. He tried to put the truck into park, but it ended up in reverse. Police said Aguilar fell from his open door and both of his legs were run over by the front driver’s side tire.”

the ex December 4, 2008 at 12:06 pm

I was ministered in a bar. That’s STUPID. Also? I tweeted.


the ex´s last blog post..Five Signs I’m Too Fucking Old.

weezy December 4, 2008 at 12:36 pm

Even education is not a bar to stupidity. An attorney in the office where I work is having surgery on Friday afternoon to remove a kidney blockage and cyst, and yet thinks he’ll be “absolutely fine” to attend the office Christmas dinner on Saturday night.

Ginger December 4, 2008 at 1:16 pm

I tweeted, but can’t seem to come up with anything that raises the stupid bar high enough.

Ginger´s last blog post..Holiday gift-giving angst

Jennie December 4, 2008 at 2:29 pm

This person called Becky made a comment on a blog about how Pit Bulls are a bad choice for a family dog without bothering to look at any statistics to justify such a claim, something I believe is called prejudice. You know what’s a better idea Becky? Your cousin should get a Pomeranian or a toy poodle. OH WAIT, they kill babies too, no mean feat when you weigh 4 lbs. In fact, cars kill babies at a much higher rate than do any breed of dog. For gods sake, I wouldn’t leave an infant, toddler, or small child alone with my 10 year old Black Lab, no matter how gentle he is. If your cousin-in-law isn’t capable of being a responsible person, than he probably shouldn’t have any dog.

You may spare me a lecture on the death rate of dog bites and how Rottweilers, American Pit Bull terriers, Presa Canarios and mixed breed dogs have the highest one (see, I did my research). First of all, the statistics generally reported via online media are biased. That doesn’t mean their bite rate is the highest, and even if it did, the relative crime rate for Blacks in America is much higher than it is for whites. Does that mean that Black people are dangerous and you shouldn’t allow them around your children? I think not…

That’s my stupid thing that happened this week.

Keely December 4, 2008 at 2:52 pm

I tweeted, but I can’t come up with any stupidity. Can I submit the entire Canadian government? They seem to think that three parties together can just overthrow the one in power without asking us.

Also, pit bulls DO have a bad rap. But any dog with a baby is high-alert territory.

anna December 4, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Must. not. offer. editorial. commentary. Must. be. strong.

Heather December 4, 2008 at 3:06 pm

I tweeted you!

As for stupid things.. insert any story about “Spencer and Heidi” … there is just no topping that kind of stupid. And if a specific example is required, they apparently just got married in order to steal some other chicks thunder or something ridiculous like that.

Kerry December 4, 2008 at 3:41 pm

Wow–wouldn’t it be a strange twist if the stupidest thing happened on the comments of the Stupidest Thing post.

anna December 4, 2008 at 3:59 pm

This comment section is getting all Lord of the Flies up in here. Next thing you know, sweetney will come by and drop a few dozen f-bombs or something.

anna December 4, 2008 at 3:59 pm

No, wait. She already did that. Never mind.

Jess December 4, 2008 at 4:06 pm

I totally tweeted you. I think. I really only know how to tweet my own thoughts so not sure if that whole @abdpbt thing really works or if it’s a vicious rumor. So that’s its own brand of stupid.

My other personal off-brand of stupid is that I’ve never ever before tried to enter one of these giveaway things. And we all know that in today’s economy we should all be trying to get as much free shit as possible.

Kerry December 4, 2008 at 4:08 pm

Oh, I loved that thread on The Bathroom Wall, because then I went and googled “Poops on Peeps” and saw some crazy shit that made me wonder what the hell is wrong with people. Plus, it reinforced my belief that I could never be a mommy blogger, because people can be really ugly in a way they just aren’t (mostly) in other genres. I always learn new stuff here.

Joanne December 4, 2008 at 4:08 pm

I twittered you from Outrageous_JEM.

anna December 4, 2008 at 4:14 pm

People talk about testosterone causing fights . . . but estrogen has provoked many a flame war.

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