Breakfast at the Getty Museum Sucks. But Lunch is Pretty Good. By Mini Right-Click.

by anna on November 12, 2008


A couple of weeks ago we went to the Getty Center. Have you been there? Even if you haven’t, you might have seen it from the 405 Freeway. It’s a giant white structure done in the great architectural tradition of Miami Vice. Except tasteful. The Getty Center is situated high above Los Angeles in the Bel Air hills, on some of the most expensive real estate in the world. And it took many many years to build it, beginning back in the 80s sometime. They have an art museum there, and sometimes they host special events. To be honest, their collection is somewhat lackluster, with only a few notable entries. However, the place itself is a work of art, and as far as places to take beautiful pictures goes, it’s tough to beat the Getty.

After you pay for parking, you don’t have to pay an admission fee to get into the Getty. But you can’t just walk into the Getty, like you might with another museum. First you have to park. And ride in an elevator, a process that I find both interesting and terrifying at the same time.


Then you have to get on the tram that goes all the way up the hill. Particularly disconcerting fact about the tram: There is no driver!


On the way up the hill, Daddy talked to some people from England who were sitting next to us. They were fans of Liverpool, like my Uncle Beaux. Uncle Beaux is not British, nor does he live in England. Yet he follows English soccer. Except in England, they call it football. These British people were impressed that Uncle Beaux was a Liverpool fan, even though they didn’t meet him. They assumed he must be a man of discerning taste. They were also happy to have us there to point out all the extraordinarily expensive homes that are visible across the valley from the Getty. Daddy says that Adam Sandler, the Regans, and “all the royalty” lives over there.

The first thing you notice when you actually get to the top of the hill is the fact that it’s really bright. This is why they pass out umbrellas to people at the tram stop. But Mommy’s like, “Yeah, right, I’ll just carry that with my third arm while I chase Mini around.” And the lady who was passing them out was like, “Who pissed in your cheerios, lady?” And then Mommy explained that this conversation took place in something called “internal monologue,” and that was why it was OK for her to be so obnoxious to somebody she didn’t know. She didn’t take an umbrella.


When we got into the Getty Center, I was overwhelmed by the scale of everything. I held Daddy’s hand while I was still feeling the place out and getting a lay of the land.


They had to ship in something like 85 million billion tons of travertine from some quarry in Italy to finish the Getty Center. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I think that travertine is a little overdone. I mean, it’s beautiful, sure, but if I have to look at another KB home with travertine in the shower, I’m going to scream.


Having said that, they really do it up right with the travertine at the Getty Center. They don’t just smooth everything over and streamline everything. Since the architects designed the walls to include unfinished stones, sometimes you can see some fossil remains in the stone, which seems to underscore the fact that archtecture is both a form of art and a piece of living history.

But we weren’t there to dick around looking at rocks! We had a storytime to get to.
The Getty organizes a storytime for its younger visitors, which sounds like a nice idea, doesn’t it? That’s before you get there and you find out the “story” is some chick wearing a crazy outfit, standing in front of a painting with a guitar.
The “story” centered around looking at the painting, and saying how many dogs were in painting (1). And how many little girls were in the painting? (Hard to say, because they all have similar hair lengths, and similar clothing). And this painting was painted in France, where they speak French. Can anyone say three in French? And in case you’re wondering, yes, there are a significant number of preschool age children in West LA who can say three in French. FYI. I thought it was all a little pretentious, but I did cop a decent snuggle from Mommy during the story time.
Afterwards, we went to see some of the more significant pieces in the Getty’s collection.
And some of the least significant.
But the chief attraction for me was outside, where you can get a good look at the architecture.
And the crazy gardens.
And the statues.
Ahhh! the statues!


Michele November 12, 2008 at 5:50 am

Dear Mini,

Thanks for the trip through the Getty. It wasn’t there when I live in L.A. I always went to the L.A. Art museum. Loved the Rodin garden. Scary neighborhood yet cool museum.

That last statue? Was it done by a woman?

Michele´s last blog post..Potato-Gorgonzola Gratin

crazylovescompany November 12, 2008 at 6:15 am

I love your mini right click perspectives!

crazylovescompany´s last blog post..Can people change?

Tara November 12, 2008 at 6:39 am

“if I have to look at another KB home with travertine in the shower, I’m going to scream.”


chris November 12, 2008 at 7:00 am

We went to the Getty a couple of years ago while on a girl’s weekend in L.A. We were all hung-over so the elevator and tram were rough. (I know your Mama doesn’t feel hung-over anymore, and I hope you never do. I was baaaad.)

The Getty’s gorgeous. I hope you’ve inspired people who live there and have never visited, to just DO IT.

Jim November 12, 2008 at 7:01 am

Great pics and tour. Thanks!

Jim´s last blog post..The Blood Test

Keely November 12, 2008 at 8:04 am


Keely´s last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts, Revisited

Amy November 12, 2008 at 10:42 am

I love the Getty grounds & gardens, but totally agree that most of the time the collections are….not up to their surroundings. Although I went to a fantastic photography exhibition a few years ago.

What do you think of the OTHER getty? The one that (at least formerly) requires reservations?

Amy´s last blog post..PORN!!!

Ginger November 12, 2008 at 11:31 am

Mini has quite the eye and opinions! I’m with him, the best parts of the Getty are outside…

Ginger´s last blog post..Today I choose to be happy

jenni November 12, 2008 at 11:50 am

“But we were there to dick around!”


This makes me realize how lucky I am to live in DC, the land of free museums.

Also, will you guest post for me? Drop me an email.

jenni´s last blog post..Have You Heard? I’m Having a Baby!

NGS November 12, 2008 at 12:15 pm

When I went to the Getty, I had a big fight with my then boyfriend, now husband. We took lots of pictures in the crazy garden and the pictures make me laugh because we weren’t speaking during any of the time we were there. Except for the tram ride. Great memories.

NGS´s last blog post..45 x 365 #16

the ex November 12, 2008 at 12:21 pm

They let you take pictures in the mofo’ing Getty? WHO KNEW.

I love the Getty. I want to live by the Getty. I want to be the Getty.

Is it too much to ask for?

the ex´s last blog post..Foxycock Brings the Funny.

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) November 12, 2008 at 1:14 pm

Mini is an awesome writer! His eye for detail and clever word play would make him an asset to any self-respecting newspaper. Has he looked into a critic’s gig anywhere? I’d clip out his columns and mail them to relatives!

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)´s last blog post..i make you laugh? i’m here to *&#%@* amuse you? what do you mean funny? funny how?

goodfather November 12, 2008 at 6:12 pm

Awesome tour, thanks! I’ve never been to the Getty, but now I would love to go, heh.

goodfather´s last blog post..Birthday tomorrow

shonda November 12, 2008 at 7:26 pm

Okay, if Mini is already using the phrase “dick around,” he is officially my new favorite kid.

shonda´s last blog post..The Song Remembers When…….Youtube trip to the past

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