70 Ways to Boost Traffic to Your Blog; Plus 3 More Ways to Increase Your Blog’s Traffic

by anna on November 3, 2008

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  1. Write blatant SEO-baiting title that will make each and every new blogger who searches for “boost traffic to blog” in Google click over to your blog, even if only for a few seconds each.
  2. Use a number, any number, in the title of said blatant SEO-baiting blog post title.
  3. Comment heavily on many blogs. The more outrageous the comment, the better.
  4. Comment heavily on blogs of all kinds of different bloggers, particularly those who are not “A-list,” as they are more likely to actually come read your blog and comment back.
  5. Refer to A-list blogger as a “mythical creature” shortly before major blog conference wherein said A-list blogger will be giving keynote address. This one might cause you some psychological and social pain, incidentally, and some uncomfortable public moments, since A-list bloggers are unpredictable in their reaction to what they perceive as public “ridicule.” Try not to mince words with them on this point, and just to remember that you will still get more traffic to your blog, regardless of how embarrassing it is in the moment.
  6. Run a Stumble Upon campaign.
  7. Or better yet, just entice people to Stumble you.
  8. Tweet everyone when you have a new post up.
  9. Write funny commentary on Twitter during VP Presidential debate.
  10. Write a whiny post about how nobody ever comes and comments on your blog. Make sure to link to a bunch of bloggers that don’t come and read your blog, so that they will feel like they have to come and read it, and then comment to prove that they did, so that they don’t feel like assholes.
  11. Think of a question that your blog post might answer. The question should resemble a query that someone might type into google. Example? “How can I boost my blog’s traffic?” Now put that question, in answered form, in your post’s title.
  12. Now think of a different way to phrase the very same question. Put that answer in your post’s title as well.
  13. Blog about blogging.
  14. Blog about blogging controversies.
  15. Claim to have made money blogging.
  16. Claim to have made money blogging, and be willing to share your secret.
  17. Be a former child star.
  18. Be a former child star who had a part on a lesser known fourth-network sci-fi series and who can currently be seen as guest murder/rapists on prime time network TV crime shows.
  19. Befriend popular blogger and get them to mention you often, by any means necessary, including buying them shit and sending it to them.
  20. Open an Etsy shop that makes things for girls in the 4-6 year old range; send out samples to key consumers who own means of marketing production.
  21. Be first person in history to be fired for writing things about lame people you work with on the interwebs View definition in a new window.
  22. Be go-to person for interviews about “blogs” and “the blogosphere,” you know, for people who work at the New York Times and don’t read blogs.
  23. Get on CNN. For anything.
  24. Get on the Today show. For anything.
  25. Get on Oprah, once she figures out what “blogging” is.
  26. Put together a conference for bloggers and serve pink drinks to all of the ones who come.
  27. Write lots of posts for other websites with a lot of traffic for free. Make them link to you.
  28. Title your blog something outrageous that makes people feel vaguely uncomfortable, preferrably involving weather patterns and genitalia. This will make people giggle. It might also make it difficult to get sponsors at some point but we are just talking about traffic right now so worry about that later.
  29. If you are a mommyblogger, be a man.
  30. If you are a political blogger, be a woman. No, nevermind, it doesn’t work that way.
  31. Run google searches on names of big name bloggers, go to sites and determine if they are fans or not. Then adopt the opposite position (whatever it is) on that blogger, and write inflammatory comment in the comment section. Naturally, include a link to your own blog.
  32. Figure out something that you know how to do, like wrap a present. Then write a post about that thing, and don’t forget to put “How to” in the title of the post.
  33. Write two or three posts about a reality television series that has a lot of fans and critics.
  34. Allow people who run website criticizing said show to repost portions of your posts about the show, along with a link to your blog.
  35. Talk about flashing your boobs.
  36. Post pictures. People like pictures.
  37. Make a weekly post series in which you just list things. People love to list things.
  38. Promise people you will put a link to their blog on your blog, if they will play along with your list activity.
  39. Give away stuff.
  40. Give away stuff like two or three times a week.
  41. Give away stuff, like nice stuff, two or three times a week, and don’t require anything more than “breathing” as a requirement to win said nice stuff.
  42. Give away stuff, like nice stuff, two or three times a week, without giving a concrete time that you will end the contest, or when you’ll announce the winner, so that they have to keep coming back.
  43. Post boring stuff, like really very yawn-inducing stuff, but keep the topic on the kids, for like four or five years straight, every day, more or less without fail, and you’ll have a huge audience.
  44. Whine a lot.
  45. Always find yourself in the midst of a gender-stereotype-laden controversy.
  46. Be an “advocate.” For anything.
  47. Go on anti-depressants; write about them. Use brand names.
  48. Periodically, go back off anti-depressants because you “don’t need them anymore.” Talk about how life is better now.
  49. After some time has passed, talk about how your meds need adjusting again.
  50. Repeat.
  51. Have another baby.
  52. Threaten to have another baby.
  53. Publicly muse as to whether you should have another baby.
  54. Write heavily political post about a personal practice that so happens to be politicized, particularly if you don’t usually talk about politics on your blog. If a good portion of your readership is politically opposed to said practice, this is even better.
  55. Question the intelligence of your readership by using incorrect English syntax in title to your post.
  56. Later, deny ever having questioned intelligence of readership.
  57. Publish viral content.
  58. Figure out what viral content is, so that you can publish it.
  59. Figure out that viral content really only works if you are its author, so set about writing your own viral content.
  60. Realize it’s not likely that anything you write will ever “go viral,” because you aren’t in the habit of, say, rewriting the subtitles of Hitler docudramas or documenting heartwarming man/lion reunions.
  61. Consider hiring marketing firm.
  62. Ask marketing firm if they have any viral content your can have.
  63. Publish New York Times Crossword on your site.
  64. Wherever possible, link to yourself.
  65. Make stupid badges View definition in a new window and figure out way to make people post them on their blogs.
  66. Run contests. Wait, I already said that one.
  67. Make separate subsection of blog to devote to more scandalous, gossip driven content.
  68. Show people how to do things. Particularly if they are things 1) that everyone already knows how to do; and/or 2) that nobody needs to learn how to do.
  69. Make your own Wikipedia entry.
  70. Appear on reality show focusing on the life of Tori Spelling.
  71. Appear on reality show focusing on the life of Victoria Beckham.
  72. Find another famous, semi-famous, or formerly famous woman named Victoria; appear on her reality show.
  73. Color hair blue, pink, orange, or whatever. As long as it is weird.

Got a list to share? Here’s what to do:

  1. Write a “list” post on your blog.
  2. Copy this code, and paste in the text of your post:
  3. Either comment or email me at anna at abdpbt View definition in a new window dot com to let me know you’re participating, and I’ll link you up below.

Check out these list lovers:

  1. MmePerpetua
  2. Keely at the Un-Mom
  3. Christine at the Bookbench
  4. Crazylovescompany
  5. Alexis at Fullofknitstiches
  6. Kitkatsknits
  7. Amy at Play Here Often
  8. Ginger at Ramble Ramble
  9. Eliz at Tink’s Mom
  10. Becky at Suburban Matron
  11. Mary Anna at Random
  12. PauvrePlume
  13. Michele at Dogslife

{ 23 comments }

Perpetua November 3, 2008 at 6:29 am

I’ve made my love of lists official!

Perpetua´s last blog post..I hate October and other updates.

Keely November 3, 2008 at 8:32 am

Mine’s a twofer this week. Hehe.

Also, some of your list was actually helpful. If only I were more controversial ;)

Keely´s last blog post..11 Reasons I couldn’t work out this week

Christine November 3, 2008 at 8:47 am

I’ve posted a list of chocolatey children’s books, but I cannot get the code copied and pasted into my post. I am very impressed with your list, especially as it is 10 times longer than mine!

Christine´s last blog post..Seven Chocolatey Good Books

crazylovescompany November 3, 2008 at 9:32 am

Comment on many blogs. check
SEO baiting title. check
Have baby. in progress

crazylovescompany´s last blog post..Listlessness Mondays – or: “how to pay your mortgage by blogging”

HeatherPride November 3, 2008 at 10:10 am

Hilarious! Loved the dooce/Bloggess reference. That happened when I first started blogging and I was like, WTF? Why are these bloggers all mean and catty? And when I say that, I’m primarily referencing dooce, because I heart The Bloggess.

Alexis November 3, 2008 at 10:40 am

Hooray, my first ListLess Monday. I also enjoyed the references to so many other bloggers with which I am facinated. Let us all beware the path of taking ourselves too seriously.

Alexis´s last blog post..My First Listless Monday

Casey November 3, 2008 at 11:28 am

I clicked over from my reader thinking this was going to be just comedy but there are a lot of valid tips here for promoting your blog! I think I need to create a Wikipedia entry for myself now, thanks for the tip! ;)

Casey´s last blog post..Club Half As Small As You: Week 3

Cat November 3, 2008 at 12:01 pm

Post about showing my boobs? CHECK
Post pictures? Not so much
Work on combining the two under the title of “F-You Conservative, Brittney-Loving, Lost-Watching A-holes”: Will have to get to work on that

Thanks for the ideas!

Cat´s last blog post..What Overcomes Me

blissfully caffeinated November 3, 2008 at 12:24 pm

Things I will be doing on my blog soon:

1. How to make a diaper cake
2. Asking people why I don’t get more comments and very sincerely asking for their advice.
3. Writing a post that links to Dooce, Fussy, PW, etc.
4. Creating my own Wikipedia entry. (Casey, I’ll link to you if you link to me)
5. Coloring my hair and posting photos.
6. Announcing that I’m having another baby.
7. Then announcing that I was just kidding.
8. Creating a post on how to do SEO (whatever the f*** that means) and make the title “How to do SEO”
9. Make stupid badges for people.
10. Whine a lot. Wait – I already do that.

Thank you so much for these awesome tips! And just you wait until the new season of American Idol starts. I will be ALL OVER that. ;)

blissfully caffeinated´s last blog post..Yes, There Really Is a Marijuana Party. And A Pirate Party. I’m Not Making This Up.

shonda November 3, 2008 at 12:25 pm

Nine and fourteen are my faves.
What a fucking overachiever you are making a list of 70. You must be Type A, right?

Jim November 3, 2008 at 12:50 pm

Bang on for most of the list. Nice work.

Jim´s last blog post..Wrong Number

Ginger November 3, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Awesome list!

My 5 is looking a little puny next to your 70 +3…

Ginger´s last blog post..Ice cream floats for grownups

Amy- playhereoften.com November 3, 2008 at 1:36 pm

Posted a list…..certainly not one that will do anything to boost my blog traffic though I did put a number in the tittle. One of 73? I’ll try harder next week.

http://playhereoften.com/2008/11/03/five-reasons-i-am-too-busy-to-write-a-real-post/

eliz November 3, 2008 at 1:50 pm

This is invaluable info – are you sure you want to give away so many trade secrets?

I know many bloggers could qualify, but who are you referring to in No. 43?

My Monday list is up. And while you’re visiting, check out my haikus.

eliz´s last blog post..My 14 favorite kitchen implements

anna November 3, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Eh, they aren’t really secrets if I could figure them out in a few months by just dicking around on the internet–I’ve only been blogging four months as of tomorrow. So how secret could they be, really?

#43 is referring to many people, but mostly I was just trying to articulate what I see as the most essential part of generating blog traffic: consistency and continuity. If you just keep doing it for a long time, it seems that you will find an audience no matter what. Any more detailed, and I’d have to go make a post on the bathroom wall.

becky November 3, 2008 at 3:13 pm

You are the Zen Master (Mistress?) of this. I’m going to do like half of these. All on the same day. Thanks! And I have a list today, but mine is only three and a half things!

becky´s last blog post..Three Surprisingly Enjoyable Things About the Drive from Atlanta to NC

Mary Anna November 3, 2008 at 3:34 pm

I love No. 28, could so do Nos. 47-50 (Zoloft, anyone?), won’t be caught dead doing Nos. 51-53 …

I’ll need to save this list for future reference, should I want more than my 5 readers to find me. Hee hee.

Oh, made my first list today, complete with photos!

Mary Anna´s last blog post..Three Things I Can Do Without Everyday

PauvrePlume November 3, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Michele November 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

I made a list and then promptly absconded with the button. Thanks!

Michele´s last blog post..Listlessness Monday

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) November 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

I think I fell in love with you here, like, around number 12. I completely apologize about the panty thing. If it helps any, believe me, I shook my fist at myself every time I typed it because I feel the same way about that word. Forgive me?

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)´s last blog post..I’m gonna put on ‘the thong song’ and we’ll tear this place apart

Elizabeth November 4, 2008 at 7:12 am

My list is a day late, but hopefully NOT a dollar short. :) Go, Anna!

Elizabeth´s last blog post..How to make a list

rebecca November 4, 2008 at 4:24 pm

You are clearly a blog ethnographer. That’s some real research you’ve done there and you’re conclusions are solid. If I were the sort to dole out those meaningless blogger awards, I’d create a cute logo and dub you a blogger Ph.D. Oh, you should add THAT to your list.

You got me with all your fancy listing. I’ll be hitting your action from now on, but I probably won’t be listy on my blog. All this sounds like work. If I wanted to do that, I’d get a job as a real writer.

rebecca´s last blog post..GO VOTE!

Robin November 5, 2008 at 4:41 pm

Gawd you are freaking HILARIOUS! And I thought your voter post was fantastic. You’ve won over a new reader.
:) Robin

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