Fourth Bimonthly ABDPBT Sucky Sweepstakes! Win a $100 American Express Gift Card!–TIME’S UP, SUCKAS! Winner TBA, Stay Tuned!

by anna on October 23, 2008

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[singlepic=76,320,240,,right] That’s right, it’s that time again! I’d like to announce the fourth installment in my series of transparent self-promoting sweepstakes giveaways! The rules are the same as last time: your task is to find a candidate for “This Week in Stupid.” You may draw your example of stupid from news stories, popular culture, or your own life; the only requirement is that it demonstrates the wider cultural paradigm of stupidity that needs to be dissected so that it might be eliminated. As always, it is up to you to sell your stupid, and I promise to be completely arbitrary and unfair in my choice of winner for the gift card. The deadline is really soon. Like, really, really, soon. But prolly not before 8:30 am PST, just because I might not be up by then. But you know, soon. So post those stupids in the comment section of this post ASAP before I cut you off, or it’s NO $100 AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARD FOR YOU!!

Good luck!

{ 22 comments }

eliz October 23, 2008 at 6:46 am

Miss Teen Louisiana USA Lindsey Evans has been stripped of her crown after being arrested for marijuana possession and skipping out on a restaurant tab.

What happened was the Dipshit, 18, and three friends dined ‘n dashed, leaving a $46 bill at a restaurant in Louisiana. She left her purse behind containing, wait for it, not only the weed but, conveniently, a driver’s license, so the cops would know exactly where to go to arrest her. And she only had 18 days left in her “reign.”

eliz´s last blog post..The many names of Eliz

HorribleLicensePlates October 23, 2008 at 6:55 am

I nominate Mr. I WORK (vanity plate on my website). The decal on his car reads “I’m a REPUBLICAN because EVERYONE can’t be on WELFARE.” Not only is this person stupid, but horribly wrong. Visit http://horriblelicenseplates.blogspot.com to see his plates and lots of others. Thanks!

weezy October 23, 2008 at 6:57 am

local to me, a (former) administrative law judge sued a dry cleaners $54 million dollars for losing a pair of his pants, fought it out for over two years, eventually had his day in court and lost on every aspect (it cost the dry cleaners over $100,000 to defend themselves on the frivolous claim), the plaintiff eventually lost his job because his bosses said to pursue such a small claim to such a ridiculous extent proved his reasoning unsuitable (insufficient?) to sit as an administrative law judge, he’s been roundly ridiculed in the media, and yesterday he brought the claim again, this time alleging fraud in the transaction.

Mary Anne October 23, 2008 at 7:21 am

I’m going to go with an easy one. Elisabeth Hasselbeck wearing a McCain shirt on The View. Seriously girl, know your audience.

Mary Anne´s last blog post..PMS…Cured!

Cat October 23, 2008 at 7:29 am

I quit smoking in August. Just quit. Which is great. Except that the instant I had to deal with stress, I picked up the habit again. Which is stupid for a lot of reasons. I thought that was the extent of the stupidity though. I was totally wrong because last night I went outside my apartment building to smoke. And locked myself out. And stood there in some kind of stupor, looking from the door to my key-less hands, thinking there was no way I just did that. NO WAY I was locked outside in the dark. Eventually, I walked around the building to the front door, thinking I could sneak inside with another tenant. There were many, many minutes of pacing in the entryway, waiting for anyone to enter or exit the building, and practicing my “don’t worry, I’m not a burglar, I really do live here but was stupid enough to lock myself out” speech. Eventually, one of the managers happened by and heard me knocking frantically. Disaster averted. I didn’t have to sleep on a stack of phone books in the entryway after all. This morning, I was running late for work and couldn’t find my keys. They were just completely gone, not in my purse, not in my jacket, etc. Turns out, I HAD taken them outside with me and left them laying on the bench where I sat to smoke, and them forgot I had put them there and spent the next hour trying to get back into the apartment building that I was NOT locked out of. Fortunately, they were still laying on the bench this morning when that finally occured to me. Moral of the story? Smoking is cool.

Beverly Delp October 23, 2008 at 9:15 am

I had to go to the bathroom really really bad walked in and threw my purse in the sink since I did not find anywhere to hang it. Finished, took my purse out of the sink and washed my hands, when water started dripping on the floor, oh well must be a leak in the pipes. Got in the elevator and water was dripping into my shoe. Look all around no leaks that I could find, opened my purse to get my keys and it was full of water. The sink had an automatic on and off for the water. Everything totally soaked. What a way to clean out your purse.

Ginger October 23, 2008 at 9:23 am

There’s a group called In Jesus that is putting out a request to block african witchcraft curses against McCain and Palin that Barack Obama’s brother and family in Africa are putting on them.

“… the witches, warlocks and those involved in satanism and the occult get up daily at 3 a.m. to release curses against McCain and Palin so B. Hussein Obama is elected.”

Link (I’m linking to the original blog I read it from, if only because I’m not so keen on sending traffic to the actual website)

Um, so, yeah. I wouldn’t believe this was true if I hadn’t heard so much of this crap already.

Jen October 23, 2008 at 9:42 am

WOW Ginger!! You might win w/ that one. It reminds me of this story – one of my co-workers is of the group that does not allow his kids to read or watch Harry Potter. Another co-worker was having a birthday party for her son and invited his kids to the party. He had one question “There isn’t going to be any Harry Potter or other satan worshiping things at the party, is there?” OMFG!

Jen´s last blog post..Justice

Cheryl October 23, 2008 at 9:58 am

Last year my husband and I went to Vegas. Unfortunately, my husband ended up having a medical emergency and ended up having to be transported to the hospital. While in the ambulance the paramedic and I had a fascinating conversation regarding casinos and some of the medical emergencies they had responded to. Paramedic told me that she and her partner had to respond to a casino emergency where a man had a heart attack while playing slots. Man was on the floor directly behind a bank of slot machines. To the paramedic’s astonishment, even after telling people to get back, patrons refused to leave their machines, and actually kept feeding the slot machines whilst the paramedics were trying to save this man’s life! One person was actually standing over the man feeding the slots. Now I’ve heard everything.

Donna October 23, 2008 at 10:01 am

There was a study at an university that came to the conclusion that women who drink 3 cups of coffee a day will start to have shrinking breasts. It then went on to say that regular intake of caffeine will decrease breast cancer. So for all my coffee drinking friends out there, I will hold my head and cup up high knowing that I am doing my part to help decrease my chances of breast cancer – guess I just won’t look down and see my shrinking boobs…..

** Oh I wonder how much money of my kids tuition they wasted on that study?

Donna´s last blog post..Surrogate Warfare

blissfully caffeinated October 23, 2008 at 10:05 am

I gotta go with Sarah Palin wearing a donkey emblazoned scarf.

http://tinyurl.com/5nohmz

Seriously.

blissfully caffeinated´s last blog post..In Which I Develop a Conscience and Then Share a Funny Story. Or, The Joys of Fake Poo

PauvrePlume October 23, 2008 at 10:43 am

OK, this isn’t my entry, I just want to say HolyCrizzapITotallyWantAndNEEDToWinThisThingSoI’mGoingToDoMyBestToFindTheStupidestShizzOutThere!!!!!!

I mean, I know everyone’s suffering as a result of the economic ridiculousness, but… Seriously… I am going to offer you the most stupidtastic story out there so I can win this thing and make you so proud!!!!

PauvrePlume´s last blog post..5 things that make me go “Hmm” (today)

Christine October 23, 2008 at 10:44 am

I am going to nominate myself for the extremely stupid act of buying a jumbo bag of FunSize Snickers bars to give trick or treaters on Halloween which is more than a week away. Who am I kidding? There are already four empty wrappers in the trashcan as I type!

Christine´s last blog post..Why I Am Jealous Of My Children And May Be Kicked Out of Oprah’s Book Club

AKD October 23, 2008 at 11:38 am

Wow, these stories are so good… especially the ones where the storyteller is the stupid one. That takes guts.
Mine is long. Sorry.
We recently got married (City Hall, not a big to-do) and in lieu of the regular registry of gifts, we asked for Best Buy gift certificates to go toward a new flat-screen TV. (Maybe that’s the stupid part, or maybe it’s just gauche.) Some people ordered these gift cards online and had them sent to us. The gift cards were clearly wedding style, had bride & groom printed on them, etc. But they arrived with no identifying info saying who the gift card was from. This made writing a thank-you note difficult. I managed to guess who the first 2 cards were from, and I asked these friends if there had been an opportunity online to type in a “gift message” to go with the card. They reported that there was, and they had in fact filled it out. So after I received the 3rd anonymous card, I called up Best Buy 800# and explained the whole wedding gift/thank-you note problem. I talked to 3 people and finally got someone in the “online department.” She asked for the order number on the slip. When I gave it to her, she said “That’s not a Best Buy order number… our numbers start with ESD..” (or something like that). I explained that what I had was very clearly a Best Buy gift card, ordered online. I suggested (for the 3rd time) that if they were going to market themselves as a wedding gift purveyor (with multiple options of gift cards decorated as such), they might want to figure out a way to have a gift message print on the receipt, the way, say, Williams Sonoma has that option when you order a wedding gift online. I WAS TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, DESPITE MY EXTREMELY ANNOYED TONE. The woman put me on hold for a while then came back and confidently announced, “The reason that there is no message printed on the receipt is because the gift giver wanted to remain anonymous.” Riiiight. When I tracked down the friend who gave us that card, I asked her if she had purposely attempted to give us the gift anonymously (!?!). She said no (of course), she had entered a gift message online.
What really bugged me is how each of the people I talked to acted like this was such a foreign idea, like they had never gotten married and written thank-you notes, or had never used a website to send a wedding gift. And the idea of a customer offering a suggestion… wow, that really threw them for a loop. What do they do to these customer service people that saps them of all human reaction??? (end rant) (stupid Best Buy)

Mary Anna October 23, 2008 at 12:35 pm

OK, here’s my entry …

Apparently a 14-year-old girl took nude pics of herself with her camera phone and emailed them to classmates.

My husband once worked for a huge company where employees were doing something similar. They had an photo ring going and would email each other photos of themselves (using the company email, of course). Hello! No one wants to see Chris the Copy Guy’s stuff! Unless, that is, that Chris is mega-hot. But, at least be smart enough to not use the company email. Needless to say, 21 of of them were fired.

Mary Anna´s last blog post..First There Was Evite …

Katrina October 23, 2008 at 1:45 pm
the ex October 23, 2008 at 3:26 pm

I LOVE this one and bonus points for it being my hometown.

Cops tries to taser a raccoon AND FAILS

Wasn’t sure if I should enter again since I just won…but eh, what the hell.

the ex´s last blog post..My First Paying Gig.

TheCottonWife October 23, 2008 at 3:33 pm

I nominate me.

Maybe it’s because of the time I confused time zones with sunrise/sunset times. Or maybe it’s the time that I tried to tell the nice lady in that fancy Chicago hotel that it cost more to mail a letter where I was from – completely overlooking the fact that the USPS is a FEDERAL institution.

If we’re going with this week though… it would have to be telling everyone to arrive at our haunted hayride – at the wrong time. Stoopid.

TheCottonWife´s last blog post..Fingerprints on the Laundry

PauvrePlume October 23, 2008 at 4:07 pm

So, I went for a stroll in Boston today, and I was looking up as I walked (common occurrence), checking out the awesome fall foliage, cool architec–BOOM!!!!! I somehow wiped out, got a broken piece of cement stuck in the palm of my hand, and managed to scrape up my knee and ankle. By some act of divine intervention, my new pants went unscathed, which is all I really care about. But I was still glad I was on the way to the hospital to visit my prego sister — since hospitals generally have cement-removal procedures. And Band-Aids.

But that’s not my entry. It’s just me letting you know that, while I’m a general lame-o on a daily basis, this is the PERFECT day for me to submit an even stupider entry to you. And fortunately, this one isn’t about me.

OK, so here it is, and the headline is, like, one of the best things I’ve read in a really long time: “Online divorcée jailed after killing virtual hubby”. AWESOME.

Check it out: a 43-year-old Japanese broad has been accused of hacking into a computer and illegally manipulating information so that she could murder her virtual spouse in the interactive game Maple Story.

In her defense, the convicted virtual assassin had this to say: “I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry.”

Apparently, her online husband complained to the police when he logged in to “Maple Story” only to discover that his avatar was suddenly a decaying corpse. The police then conducted an investigation and found that the virtual spouse-killer had used information that her cyber-husband had given her back when they were happily married… she then used that info to hack into his account and totally jack him. Stupid-head cyber-hubby.

Oh, but the police were quick to add that this woman has never plotted revenge in “real life,” so all the Japanese people should feel completely safe.

Nice.

Here’s the link to the story: CRAZY MO-FO JACKS VIRTUAL SPOUSE, GOES TO JAIL

PauvrePlume´s last blog post..5 things that make me go “Hmm” (today)

TheCottonWife October 23, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Please disregard what I wrote previously.

My mother just told my inquisitive seven year old that “No one knows how people originally got last names. It’s one of those things we will never know.”

And it wasn’t even like she was just too tired to explain. That was her sincere answer.

Sorry to all you onomatologists out there.

Ok. This is my submission. Unless I overhear anymore of my mom’s conversations. I can’t make any promises about the finality of my submissions.

TheCottonWife´s last blog post..Fingerprints on the Laundry

Amy October 23, 2008 at 5:35 pm

DAMN! I was going to enter the online-revenge piece.

Now I have to find something else (also, have to go get two more cups of coffee – sounds cheaper than a breast reduction. any idea how long until I’m a D cup?)

Potty-mouth pay-out
A US woman who was arrested and prosecuted for swearing at her toilet has won nearly £12,000 in compensation.

Dawn Herb’s legal fees will also be paid as part of the out of court settlement with the city of Scranton, Pennsylvania.

She was arrested last year after a neighbour, an off-duty police officer, heard her swearing at her overflowing lavatory through an open window.

Amy´s last blog post..Ethical Dilemma

Amy October 23, 2008 at 5:36 pm

ummmm…apparently I didn’t post the whole story – but if you click the link, you can read the rest.

Amy´s last blog post..Ethical Dilemma

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