Third Quasimonthly Sucky Sweepstakes: Celebrate Democracy; Win $150 Visa Gift Card–TIME’s UP! The Ex wins it!

by anna on October 1, 2008

[singlepic=76,320,240,,right] That’s right, it’s that time again! I’d like to announce the third installment of my series of transparent self-promoting sweepstakes giveaways! The rules are the same as last time: your task is to find a candidate for “This Week in Stupid.” You may draw your example of stupid from news stories, popular culture, or your own life; the only requirement is that it demonstrates the wider cultural paradigm of stupidity that needs to be dissected so that it might be eliminated. As always, it is up to you to sell your stupid, but we’re switching things up a bit this time in the determination of our winner. Details TBA. All you need to know right now is you better get cracking–I’m not going to tell you when the deadline is, but it is soon. So post those stupids ASAP before I cut you off, or it’s NO $150 VISA CARD FOR YOU!!

Good luck!

{ 24 comments }

Amy October 1, 2008 at 4:24 pm

ooh! I have one!

“Man claims penis amputated without consent”

I mean, I read the story, but I still think that penis amputation is something that should get consent. Unless the amputee is in prison or something. Or cheating on Lorena Bobbitt. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26890724/)

How did the doctor not think that this was going to go badly?

the ex October 1, 2008 at 4:30 pm

You want to hear stupid? Sarah fucking Palin is going to engage in a debate and she ISN’T EVEN JOKING.

NGS October 1, 2008 at 4:54 pm

Okay, so on Naked Banana’s blog, she tells the following story: It rained and apparently the chance of rain had only been 20%. She and her coworkers were discussing how strange that was. Then her boss said,(this is a direct quote from her blog):

“Well that really doesn’t mean anything. When they say 20% that just means it’s going to rain on 20% of the city.”

Awesomely stupid.

See http://naked-banana.blogspot.com/2008/09/partly-cloudy-with-chance-of-buffoonery.html for the full story.

KerrySS October 1, 2008 at 5:18 pm

Seriously, I think you can get “This Week in Stupid” on any major TV network tomorrow night around 8pm (well, it’s on at 8pm here–I guess that’s 6pm by you). Then you can save the $150 to spend something cool. Like a plane ticket to a country with vice-presidential candidates that aren’t bound to be more entertaining than an episode of America’s Next Top Model.

anna October 1, 2008 at 5:21 pm

Of course I can do this, but this is a grassroots effort to recognize stupidity across the spectrum. And an attempt to drive traffic, but keep that on the dl.

Lisa Hawkes October 1, 2008 at 6:29 pm

I have 2. One was a random read at perezhilton.com and the other in (my) local news.

1.
So aparently some drunk 21 year old guy was arrested and charged with assult on a PEACE officer for running up to the officer and HUGGING him. Boy was his face red when he sobered up…
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080929/ap_on_fe_st/odd_hug_charges;_ylt=Aq0TsyF3FxdiM6pAleyNGf1xFb8C

2. http://www.amherstdaily.com/index.cfm?sid=176563&sc=58

And I quote the whole article:
Springhill Police Service were investigating a single motor vehicle accident Tues, Sept 30, in the afternoon after a truck crashed into Cumberland South MLA Murray Scott’s office. No one was injured during the event but witnesses inside the office stated they were still startled as the vehicle was being removed.
That struck me as quite funny this morning… I think the last line sells itself ;)

shonda October 1, 2008 at 6:34 pm

For stupid this week, I would say the McCain Camp seriously asking the VP debate moderator to give Sarah Palin less foreign policy question because they feel like its not fair for her to have to answer as many since Joe’s drowning in experience.
But since Sarah seems to be just about everyone’s horse in the stupid race, I will go with Secretary of the Bankruptcy, I mean Treasury, Henry Paulson thinking the American people wouldn’t figure out that he was trying to let the current CEO of Goldman Sachs (who holds Paulson’s old job) decide who gets what in this big AIG bailout. Did I mention that Goldman Sach has $20 billion invested in AIG? It’s criminal to let the same private capitalism assholes who got us in this mess have free range at the tax payer dollars to bail it out. It is just fucking stupid, though, to think we wouldn’t figure it out.
So, $150 now please.

PauvrePlume October 1, 2008 at 6:34 pm

Ok, so there’s this dude in Wisconsin who burned himself when he (get this) used his cigarette lighter to help him see while he was siphoning gasoline from his van the other evening. Apparently, the neighbors freaked when they saw the mild pyrotechnic show that ensued (on the dude’s hand), so they called the cops.

Oh, but it gets even stupider. Check this sh*t out: later on that same evening, the flamer (ha!) was discovered by cops in a store parking lot, where he was promptly arrested for “negligent use of burning materials” and THEFT. So he’s a pyro AND a klepto. Freakin’ stupid-head.
(http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081001/ap_on_fe_st/odd_siphoning_fire)

ps) but yeah, I still think S-Pay is way stoopider

KerrySS October 1, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Ahhh. Traffic. Gotcha.

Okay, this is a couple of months old, but I bring you this with love from my very own metro area:
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=776545

Please note that I am not from here. I just live here. It’s because I married a cheesehead. It’s totally not my fault.

KerrySS October 1, 2008 at 6:37 pm

Okay, I totally would not have posted that if I’d known that someone else was also posting about a stupid person from Wisconsin.

Did I mention I’m not from here? And it’s not my fault that I live here? I did, right?

Sarah October 1, 2008 at 6:49 pm

Um…. … … I can’t think of anything stupid. But I’ll work on it, and get back to you.

;)

Mary Anna October 1, 2008 at 7:09 pm

Okay, this didn’t happen here, but I just read this story before reading your call for entries.

Apparently some United Airlines pilots got drunk and mooned the waiter for refusing to serve them any more drinks. Then, they were caught on the police car dashboard camera mooning passers by. The best part was the remark at the end of the story: that he’ll be rejoicing when people don’t make their connecting flights tomorrow.

Classy!

You can read the story here.

Mary Anna October 1, 2008 at 7:16 pm

Oh, and I’m sure you’ve all heard the one about the Texas teacher bragging about taking free MREs and bottled water and enjoying time without pay – since her house had no real damage following Hurricane Ike.

Well, she just happens to teach at the high school from which I graduated. She’s been placed on administrative leave pending an investigation. Apparently, in her contract, she agrees to uphold high ethical standards. (I guess lots of other school districts don’t have that in their contract, do they Mary Kay?)

You can read about that one here.

Mary Anna October 1, 2008 at 7:24 pm

And, finally, a story that doesn’t suck … yet.

Apparently a guy was driving a Condom-mobile in Mexico when he stopped at a friend’s house for the night. And, the mobile was stolen! My favorite item reported missing: a 23-foot prophylactic. (I’d love to meet that man!)

Anyhoo, imagine having to explain that one to the police!

You can read that story here.

Molly October 1, 2008 at 7:51 pm

Someone already took my Palin entry. :( The fact that she is even on a national ticket is the Stupid in Perpetuity Entry). Does my entry still count? I could really use $150.

Jenny October 1, 2008 at 8:49 pm

First, I’m very proud of the fact that I’m delurking myself. So, hello! My stupid entry of the week is for the following story:

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/8628732?MSNHPHMA

Travis Henry, a former Denver Broncos player, got caught this week in a cocaine deal. This was after testing positive twice for marijuana while he was a player, AND fathering NINE children by nine different women and not paying child support for some of them. How much more stupid can you get?

anna October 1, 2008 at 9:12 pm

Yay for delurking! Welcome, Jenny!

jenboglass (steenkybee) October 2, 2008 at 6:54 am

Um, I’m in the middle of lurking and de-lurking. I will comment, but I am having such a good time reading all these links that I can’t seem to find time to research my own stupid story. These are unbelievable and hilarious.

eliz October 2, 2008 at 7:27 am

OK, so, a guy in Nebraska dropped off 9 of his 10 children at a hospital ER, saying he was fed up and couldn’t take care of them anymore. The state’s safe haven law lets a parent abandon a child up to 17 years old. Yeah, yeah, he’s a widower in difficult economic times, but what do you want to bet that after he’s invited onto every TV talk show and after donations ranging from free appliances to cases of canned soup to plastic surgery services come rolling in he’ll be indignantly fighting the state’s social services cadre demanding that they give him his children back? And then they’ll get a reality show and then they’ll be snowboarding in UT on the slopes with the Gosselins and the true stupid suckers will be those of us who didn’t exploit our misfortune to find ourselves on the gravy train of free vacays, tummy tucks and hair plugs.

Actually, the stoopids in this case are the Nebraska legislators who wrote such a bad law. Keeping babies out dumpsters? A good thing! Not having anyone proofread the damn thing so that it prevents assholey parents from giving away teenagers? Much less good!

eliz October 2, 2008 at 7:27 am
eliz October 2, 2008 at 7:44 am

Oooookay, what about this one? Grown women collecting and cuddling creepy-looking dolls that are called “reborns” and can cost up to $4000?

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26970782

Prolly doesn’t fit the bill of “stupid.” More like psychologically unbalanced.

Toe October 2, 2008 at 7:58 am

Our little paper news of record is always a delight to read. The stupidty ranges from someone reporting a dead body on the side of the road (this happened to be a dead deer that someone put sneakers on, to examples such as this:

R.W, 42, of San Ramon, booked on suspicion of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol with a prior, DUI with three or more priors and DUI with a 0.08 percent or higher with a prior, after an arrest on Will Road south of Far Flat Road. Also arrested on misdemeanor suspicion of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, was B.G, 45, of Livermore. Both were reportedly taking turns driving a vehicle over a mailbox. (Can you beleive they thought they would not get caught? I think the mailbox is dead now.)

A caller said she pulled into a mini mart at Souls Road and Highway 215 because she was being tailgated. The tailgater followed her, and one of the occupants of the pickup exposed himself to her husband and urinated on her car. (lesson to you all, don’t pull over!)

A man on the 10200 block of Perez Lane said he thought he had a rattlesnake in his couch. It was gone on the arrival of a deputy. (Gone like magic.)

A woman on the 24000 block of Paleta Lane said she caught a 9-year-old boy “sneaking around” her house with a machete. (Really? Where the hell does a 9 year old get a machete?)

All these stories happened in one day. Please save me from hickville.

Michelle October 2, 2008 at 9:58 am

Sarah Palin vs. Katie Couric.

TKO in the second round.

Alexandrialeigh October 2, 2008 at 10:55 am

I’m not sure if I’m eligible this go-round because I won the last time (yay me!), but either way, I vote for Eliz’s commentary on the dude who ditched 9 of his 10 kids at an emergency room. I mean, wow. And Eliz makes several good points. Plus, he didn’t even think that the kids’ grandparents might want to help or take care of the kids if the alternative was him ditching them completely — seems pretty thick-headed to me.

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