It was a Sunday, and Mommy and Daddy were fresh out of ideas for “enrichment activities” for me. Mommy said it was time to get another haircut, so they conferred, and decided that, at my age, getting a haircut is probably just as “enriching” as going to a museum. I found this assertion somewhat patronizing, but I played dumb, since the place where we got my first haircut had a big table full of Thomas the Train stuff. I learned this trick from our golden retriever, Sidney. She showed me that it is almost always better to have them think you are dumber and more out of it than you actually are. Smart dog, that Sidney–too bad she bit me on the eye and had to go live with Grandma.
But there would be no Thomas the Train for me this time, because Mommy wanted to try a place called Spa Di Da, which she told me claims to be the only day spa catering exclusively to kids in all of Los Angeles. In case you don’t know, Los Angeles is a big, big place.
So Mommy and Daddy figured that hey, this is a spa for kids, right? How busy can it be? And we didn’t call until we were on our way over. But believe it or not, we couldn’t get an appointment right away. So we had lunch across the street at El Coyote, which is a restaurant that has served marginal Mexican food to the citizens of Los Angeles for a long time. Like since before Daddy was born. It was also once featured on an episode of Newlyweds starring Jessica Simpson and her then-husband, Nick Lachey.
When we finished lunch, we went across the street, but we still had to wait before I could get my hair cut. Luckily, they have a play area filled with overpriced toys from Pottery Barn Kids!
I noticed that these toys were mainly domestically oriented toys having to do with household appliances, food items, and the like. Some boys would be turned off by that kind of thing, but I believe it’s a mistake to confuse toy choices with gender identity. I’m a forward thinking progressive in that sense.
That said, Mommy had clearly stuck me in a place aimed at chicks. Look at all these girly potions they have for sale.
And the nail stuff. I don’t even let Mommy cut my nails with a clipper, and these people willingly subject themselves to manicures and some kind of paraffin wax thing:
They even have a place to do yoga if you want.
I’m not sure why you need a whole room for yoga. My yoga comes in a tube and I like to just squeeze it into my mouth while I’m playing. It doesn’t fill me up, and it never slows me down.
But whatev. Chicks like to do things their own way. And vive la différence, if you get my drift.
I will admit to being a little confused by the freakadelic mushroom furniture. Mommy kept saying, “See, it’s a table, a TABLE.” And I was like, “Yeah, lady, I’m not a moron. I’m just trying to figure out why anyone would want a table that looks like magic mushrooms.”
I like any place that has ready made places to hide. Peekaboo!
Another perk of Spa Di Da is that they have a refreshment room with cookies and drinks and stuff. Daddy said, “So, can I take a drink, and you guys will just put it on my tab?” And the lady just said, “Ummm, that’s fine.” She must have been preoccupied with all of the masses waiting for her assistance with their hair.
Mommy made Daddy get a picture of this board with all of their services and prices so she could consult it later for “market research.” Good thing, too, because while she was looking at it, she just kept saying, “He’ll see the Big Board! He’ll see the Big Board!” and laughing to herself. Mommy finds herself terribly droll.
Eventually, we got around to the haircut. And I started to feel a little bit wistful. Things seemed to be going so fast and, I don’t know, I just wanted to touch my hair before it was all gone.
Upon consideration, I decided I didn’t like this idea much at all. They say male pattern baldness skips a generation, and based upon the head of my maternal grandfather, I don’t have anything like a whole lifetime to enjoy this mop. So I tried really hard to get away, but Mommy kept holding onto me, and trying to distract me with toys.
Forgive them father, they know not what they do–wait I don’t know, it seems like Mommy might be enjoying this!
But I think it is also possible that Mommy got into those magic mushrooms in the playroom. Nice fillings, Mom!
I honestly hope these faces are not designed for my amusement.
I straight off told her–”Mommy, you are only embarrassing yourself,” I said. But it sounded more like, “Mah–dis doh DAH!”
Meanwhile, Daddy decided to get all arty in his pictures.
See how sometimes my hair looks strawberry blonde, especially if it is wet or we are in bad lighting? I don’t know why that is. I wonder what color my hair will be when I grow up. If I have any.
On the way home I got to eat my first Oreo with milk. I would say that this made everything worth it.
“Mini Spa Day” Copyright ®2008 By Mini Right-Click. All Rights Reserved. All Unauthorized Use Will Be Prosecuted.