Attention: It’s Time for the Second Bimonthly(?)/Periannual/Bicentennial ABDPBT Sucky Sweepstakes!!

by anna on September 3, 2008

[singlepic=76,320,240,,right] That’s right, it’s that time again! I’d like to announce the second contest in the transparent self-promoting sweepstakes giveaways! The rules are the same as last time: your task is to find a candidate for “This Week in Stupid” by this time next week (Wednesday, September 10, 2008, at 12:30 p.m. PST. You may draw your example of stupid from news stories, popular culture, or your own life; the only requirement is that it demonstrates the wider cultural paradigm of stupidity that needs to be dissected so that it might be eliminated. As always, it is up to you to sell it to me, and I am absolutely be biased in my judging of people. Please post your entries in the comments section of this post any time between now and next Wednesday.
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If I were Jeff Probst, I would ask, “Wanna know what you are playing for?” and then all of you, dirty, stinky, tired, and starving from spending weeks in an island in the South China Sea, would say, “Yes, Jeff!” And then I would bring out a plate of nachos that would look really good to you guys, because you’re starving, but which would look really gross to everyone watching at home. And then I would crack open a Mountain Dew and say, “Sound like it’s worth playing for?” And you would all say, “OH YES.”
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Lucky for you I’m not Jeff Probst. Because this week I’m happy to report that you will be playing for your very own, brand-spanking new Diamancel Foot File! That’s right, a $50 value, all for trolling the internet for examples of stupid, which you would be doing anyway. Your new file looks like this, except it is brand new (I am too lazy to take a new picture):
[singlepic=4,440,330,,center]
Good luck!

{ 12 comments }

Alexandrialeigh September 3, 2008 at 1:45 pm

This is probably the lamest of the lame when it comes to sucky sweepstakes entries, but…I am thinking John McCain’s VP choice takes the friggin’ cake. It is becoming increasingly apparent to (admittedly biased) me that he chose her because she’s a woman, assuming that Hillary’s peeved supporters will come running to follow any politician with a set of boobs and forgetting that there are real issues (abortion rights, global warming, ethics, etc.) to be considered as well. I mean, I think I’ve had more involved job interviews than this woman has had.

anna September 3, 2008 at 5:38 pm

Oh, I dunno . . . that’s a good one, I’d say. Although some people are calling it a smart move. Inexplicably.

Crash Commanda September 3, 2008 at 7:29 pm

I think this one is pretty good. If you’ve ever hit ‘send’ on an email and then realized it went to the wrong person/people, you’ll cringe when you read this:

Wall Street is not the only place employees get a sense of foreboding before getting the axe.

But some people on Madison Avenue are tipped off in unique ways….

Struggling media agency Carat is planning a major restructuring of its U.S. operations, including an undetermined number of layoffs—news it accidentally released today via a memo the agency’s top New York-based HR executive e-mailed to the entire agency that appeared to be intended only for senior managers.

In a rare, uncomfortable look into the preparations for employee layoffs, management informed its rank and file of forthcoming layoffs and other changes in Microsoft PowerPoint and Word documents full of “message” points on how people should be told of their fate and what should be said to their still-employed colleagues, clients and vendors. According to one person with knowledge of the memo, it was sent to all staffers before the mistake was realized, and it was pulled back by the IT department. The documents, obtained by Advertising Age and posted with this story, detail talking points for managers as they talk to clients, vendors, the press and employees as Carat tries to navigate the fallout from the news.

In an interview, Carat President Scott Sorokin depicted the forthcoming moves as being in the best interest of the clients and as a response to “client needs.” He said that the layoffs would be across various parts of the agency, not just the buying groups, which figure heavily in the documents. He said that that emphasis is because those groups are spread across various satellite offices.

Do they all use this script?

Included was a script for how the downsized would be informed: “If you would like to go home today and come back tomorrow to clean out your desk or office, you are free to do so. We would like you to meet with your manager following our meeting to transition your work. We will be communicating to your team today. Your manager will be contacting clients. We ask that you do not contact your clients to discuss this situation.”

Hey, aint life grand (in corporate America)?

shonda September 3, 2008 at 9:05 pm

Damn you, Alexandraleigh, that was my answer. I’m going with Antonio Rungi, the Italian priest who announced last week that he was planning a beauty pageant for nuns, Miss Sister 2008, and then subsequently canceling this week after great pressure from the higher ups within the Catholic Church.

weezy September 4, 2008 at 11:22 am

My boss is a good detail man but a bit fussy about wanting stuff re-done just so, even for the most mundane, non-client-related stuff. Today he wanted me to box up some old files to go to storage and put a list on the box lid and on the side of what was contained therein. SOP, no problem. I taped the box lid list on first and saw he had written in magic marker ’2008 CLOSED’ on the side of the box, so I spun the box to the other side and taped the list on the blank side. He came out of his office, saw the box, and asked me to re-do the list on the box lid because it was upside down. I just looked at him for a second or so, and he explained again that the list was upside down, so could I remove the list taped there and print a new one and put it on? I lifted the lid, turned it in the other direction, and put it back on the box.

At least he had the decency to blush in the face of his brain fart.

Maria S. September 4, 2008 at 1:28 pm

I’m with Alexandrialeigh too…
Watching last night I just could not believe that she could be our next VP, with high possibilities of actual presidency because of McCain’s “age and shelf life”…
She is a set of boobs with no brain, who will willingly forgo all women’s rights (equal pay, abortion rights, etc., etc.) just to get on the map…shame on her and how terribly stupid!

Amy September 4, 2008 at 3:46 pm

I’m gonna have to vote for the monk who burned down his temple trying to get rid of some hornets: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Buddhist_monk_burns_down_temple_after_insect_attack&in_article_id=294227

Or, you know, pick an event from the RNC.

Alexandrialeigh September 5, 2008 at 1:14 pm

Haha! I like Amy’s suggestion. Although…I thought Monks weren’t supposed to kill ANY living things, not even mosquitoes or roaches, which are two of the foulest, most awful things on the face of the earth. I must be wrong about that…or else the monk’s burned down temple is just the perfect example of karmatic retribution.

Heather September 8, 2008 at 6:38 am

I’m going for the two teenagers who were told by one of their moms to rob an innocent man – However, they decided they’d stab him to death, and got away with $15 bucks. Major payout. Now they’re on the way to jail. How stupid can you be?! http://www.click2houston.com/news/17409011/detail.html

Deb on the Rocks September 9, 2008 at 6:34 pm

I’m going to toss in the very poorly prepared Rachel Ray, who most certainly is the sicko behind this attempt to prepare human stone soup. She needs to be stopped.
http://www.knbc.com/news/17418170/detail.html?rss=la&psp=news

The foot file is, indeed, a very stupid prize, because you just can’t brag about it. “Eat it, losers, I won a f00t file! I pwn!”

Alexandrialeigh September 10, 2008 at 9:19 am

OK, here’s another last-minute entry: I nominate the writer behind this story (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26621865/) because I sincerely can’t believe someone employed by the Associated Press actually thought this was news-worthy. I mean, really? Who cares about the election or global warming? We’ve got serious breaking news happening in college dorm rooms!

Alexandrialeigh September 10, 2008 at 9:21 am

Oops, forgot to make the link work.

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