Aquarium Schuamarium: Another Guest Post By Mini In The Style of Breakfast of Champions

by anna on August 19, 2008

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Mommy said since everybody liked my last guest post, and because it caused “a spike in her page views,” she would let me post again sometime. Today she has to go see somebody called Psychiatrist, who I think is the person who convinces her that staying in bed all day and forcing me to “entertain myself” is not a plan for life success. I’m glad she sees Psychiatrist, because I need her to interact with me–having to watch BabyTV is so juvenile, really, and how many times can one mow the carpet in one day?
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So since she is busy today, she figured it would be a good time to “exploit the cuteness factor,” whatever that means, by having me post again. But she could not just trust my artistic vision, and had various post suggestions for me, but I told her–in the words of the great Julian Schnabel–”if I don’t have final cut–I don’t do it.” And then I hit her in the face with a harmonica. For emphasis.
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She relented.
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So today I’m going to add to my emerging oeuvre exploring animal containment/amusement park centers. Two weekends ago we went to the Aquarium of the Pacific, which is in Long Beach.
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You might know Long Beach as the home of the Queen Mary. Or, more likely, you know that it is Snoop Dogg’s hometown. It took us about a half hour to get there in the car. I was remarkably well behaved, if I do say so myself. There were a lot of people there and I was a little scared, so I had Daddy carry me.
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Inside, there was a giant, life-size model of a blue whale. It was hoisted from the ceiling and Daddy and I decided to take a good look.
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You might be thinking that Mommy doctored this picture in Photoshop to look “arty,” but no, it’s just she doesn’t know how to hold the camera still, and she was distracted with worry that the cables holding the blue whale were not attached to studs.
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Inside, there were a bunch of fish taking a bath. I kind of wished that I could get in there with them, although it didn’t look like they had a special bathtime basketball hoop. Suckers.
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Too bad the lighting makes Mommy’s hair look orange, huh? Did you know that fish eat their salad while they are swimming?
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Personally, I most enjoy salad when I am climbing up on Daddy’s lap, kneeing him in the nuts (acting like it was an accident is KEY here), dropping Bruin-Bear into his bowl, and while he is distracted, sticking my hand in and getting some out.
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But to each his own.
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Daddy says this would be a perfect picture if it weren’t for the glare off the side of the Sea Lion’s tank:
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But this one is my favorite:
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I could show you how to get that thing to light up like that. But then I’d have to kill you.
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Later, we went to see a show.
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I had to explain it to Mommy. . .
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. . . because she missed a story arc when she saw this guy and couldn’t stop saying, “Dude has a grommet in his ear! DUDE HAS A GROMMET IN HIS EAR?!”
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You don’t hear about it a lot, but an aquarium is a good place to get some thinking done.
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And to commune with nature. You know, without having to get too close.
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But you CAN get kinda close if you want. Without getting dirty.
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Fish are cool. Don’t you think?
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{ 5 comments }

Coasty August 19, 2008 at 1:47 pm

I have to agree that Mini is soooooooo cute. Does he do sushi?

shonda August 19, 2008 at 6:40 pm

That jellyfish photo is magazine worthy.

J. August 20, 2008 at 11:28 am

The cuteness factor really is over the top, but luckily, Mini has a restrained writing style that saves it from being diabetes-inducing. I’ll second Shonda and say that the jellyfish photo is gorgeous.

anna August 20, 2008 at 11:37 am

Mr. Right-Click is tickled about your compliments of his picture–he is quite an excellent photographer! And yes, Mini does eat sushi on occasion–I can hear a collective gasp from overprotective great aunts across the country after admitting that. He’s a Californian, people–we start eating sushi right after they cut the cord and before the first bath where they put that slimy shit in your eyes.

Denise August 20, 2008 at 3:52 pm

Excellent writing, I agree that the jellyfish picture is divine, and LOL at the jokes inside the post.

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