Date Zero with AIDSAwareness Boy

by anna on May 18, 2004

May 18, 2004, 7:30 p.m., Pig ‘n’ Whistle, Hollywood.

My outfit:
• black not very exciting low heels
• white camisole
• sheer light blue shirt with buttons down front, three buttons undone, so you can see top of camisole but not *quite* cleavage (very daring for me)
• dangly earrings that are not exactly the right color but who gives a shit anymore
• Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab perfume in “Queen of Hearts”

AIDSAwarenessBoy earned his name due to his inclusion of a picture of himself participating in the AIDS Walk LA 2003 in his match profile–a worthy cause, certainly, but still a strange choice for a hetero GenXer and therefore worthy of flagging. I found our phone conversation tedious. However, I think it is possible that his sense of humor is too dry to translate in that media.

We met at the Pig ‘n’ Whistle, an historic restaurant/bar in my area of town. Having noticed that my tendency to show up early for everything is a distinct disadvantage in online dating, causing me to spend time circling blocks and cleaning out my car to kill time, I had made an effort to arrive late. I arrived exactly on time. AIDSAwarenessBoy was already there. He is cute and he looks like his pictures. He is not tall, but even in heels he just barely is taller than I am so it’s OK.

We talked about various things, and as I hypothesized, his sense of humor is much better in person than online or over the phone. After a little while he asked if I had eaten [apparently I was good enough for the dinner offer with this one], I said, “Noh,” we discussed going to get dinner but ultimately decided to stay at that restaurant. I had Tuna Tartare, he had Penne somethingorother, we talked about Kobe Bryant and politics. He is very down to earth, though I hate that expression, but I think it’s because he is basically from a good salt of the earth kind of blue collar family (these are foreign concepts to me), and so he has a more reasonable perspective on many things than I usually encounter. Having said that, his sister is married to one of the original team members of Pixar, and he is currently in the process of helping her look for homes in Bel Air. Only in LA.

At 1 hour, 45 minutes into the date, I looked at my watch and said, “it’s almost bedtime.” This was not an attempt to be cute. I go to bed early so I can get up at the butt crack of dawn to miss traffic on my way to work. AIDSAwareness Boy walked me back to BFE where I had parked, which was good because the general area is shady. I offered to drive him back to his car (it was in the opposite direction)–perhaps not strictly speaking wise or *safe*, but I was confident he wouldn’t attack me and it was so far out of his way it would have taken an uberbitch not to offer. I dropped him off at his car, it was slightly awkward, he said something about how we had “interesting conversations” and “maybe we can do it again,” I said , “OK, have fun on your trips [he is going on a couple business trips in the next few weeks] and basically acted like a big dork, then he left.
It was a good date. I didn’t totally go gaga for him, but I liked him. I think he liked me, too, though who knows. He’ll be out of town for a while, so I’m not sure when I’ll see him (assuming he decides to call again).

Epilogue: AIDSAwareness Boy did not contact me again. In a move somewhat out of character for me, I emailed him a non-committal “thank you for dinner” bullshit email a week or two later to get the ball rolling. He responded back that he had fun but that he “guess[ed] [he was] looking for something deeper” in his life right now. In my response, I heartily agreed with him, wished him well, blocked his address, swallowed up my pride, and folded myself back into the fetal position. Online dating lesson learned: if you are wishy washy about a guy and he doesn’t contact you, assume he feels the same way and realize that this is fine in the grand scheme of things.

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