37 Pandemics That Never Really Took Off

[This list originally appeared on May 9, 2009.]

1. The Pearls Before Swine Flu
2. Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes Disease
3. The Periwinkle Death
4. A Rheumatic Fever With A View
5. Sunday Morning Fever
6. Spray Tanner’s Disease
7. A Smallpox on Both Your Houses Flu
8. Water Polio
9. SLURS
10. Goodbye, Rubella Tuesday
11. Corona With Lime Disease
12. The Golf Clap; or I Only Win When Tiger’s Gonorrhea
13. The Co-Sleeping Sickness
14. Beethoven’s Fifth’s Disease
15. Inconspicuous Consumption
16. Button-Down Cholera
17. The Crayola Virus
18. The What Are You, Chicken? Pox
19. Eyes And Ears And Mouth And Nose Disease
20. Sweating The Small Stuff Sickness
21. The Putting Lipstick On A Pig Flu
22. Amtrax
23. The Chunky Monkey Pox
24. The Sardonic Plague
25. The Whooping Goldberg Cough
26. ABETS
27. The Grumps
28. The You Can Put A Hat On A Pig Flu
29. Spotted Dick Fever
30. A Rheumatism Of One’s Own
31. Jungle Fever
32. The Spanish Peanut Flu
33. The Eat Like A Bird Flu
34. Love in The Time of Button-Down Cholera
35. The Nicetomeetya Strain
36. Sad Cow Disease
37. The What About Measles

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