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37 Pandemics That Never Really Took Off

37 Pandemics That Never Really Took Off

[This list originally appeared on May 9, 2009.]

  1. The Pearls Before Swine Flu
  2. Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes Disease
  3. The Periwinkle Death
  4. A Rheumatic Fever With A View
  5. Sunday Morning Fever
  6. Spray Tanner’s Disease
  7. A Smallpox on Both Your Houses Flu
  8. Water Polio
  9. SLURS
  10. Goodbye, Rubella Tuesday
  11. Corona With Lime Disease
  12. The Golf Clap; or I Only Win When Tiger’s Gonorrhea
  13. The Co-Sleeping Sickness
  14. Beethoven’s Fifth’s Disease
  15. Inconspicuous Consumption
  16. Button-Down Cholera
  17. The Crayola Virus
  18. The What Are You, Chicken? Pox
  19. Eyes And Ears And Mouth And Nose Disease
  20. Sweating The Small Stuff Sickness
  21. The Putting Lipstick On A Pig Flu
  22. Amtrax
  23. The Chunky Monkey Pox
  24. The Sardonic Plague
  25. The Whooping Goldberg Cough
  26. ABETS
  27. The Grumps
  28. The You Can Put A Hat On A Pig Flu
  29. Spotted Dick Fever
  30. A Rheumatism Of One’s Own
  31. Jungle Fever
  32. The Spanish Peanut Flu
  33. The Eat Like A Bird Flu
  34. Love in The Time of Button-Down Cholera
  35. The Nicetomeetya Strain
  36. Sad Cow Disease
  37. The What About Measles

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Comments (3)

  1. Feb 28, 2011

    You forgot ‘If the shoe fits itis’

  2. Feb 28, 2011

    I like The Sardonic Plague and Sad Cow Disease the best.

  3. Mar 1, 2011

    Did I ever tell you about my spray tan phase? It was while I was pregnant with my oldest. I was always sickly green from the barfing, and Mystic Tan had just arrived in Milwaukee. So I tried it. I looked like a completely different person (dumber, but way more fun). My coworkers thought it was a hoot. I ended up doing it for about three months, until I had the baby and regained the use of my brain.

    So now I need a Twibbon or something, since I’m a survivor of #6.

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