37 Pandemics That Never Really Took Off
[This list originally appeared on May 9, 2009.]
- The Pearls Before Swine Flu
- Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes Disease
- The Periwinkle Death
- A Rheumatic Fever With A View
- Sunday Morning Fever
- Spray Tanner’s Disease
- A Smallpox on Both Your Houses Flu
- Water Polio
- SLURS
- Goodbye, Rubella Tuesday
- Corona With Lime Disease
- The Golf Clap; or I Only Win When Tiger’s Gonorrhea
- The Co-Sleeping Sickness
- Beethoven’s Fifth’s Disease
- Inconspicuous Consumption
- Button-Down Cholera
- The Crayola Virus
- The What Are You, Chicken? Pox
- Eyes And Ears And Mouth And Nose Disease
- Sweating The Small Stuff Sickness
- The Putting Lipstick On A Pig Flu
- Amtrax
- The Chunky Monkey Pox
- The Sardonic Plague
- The Whooping Goldberg Cough
- ABETS
- The Grumps
- The You Can Put A Hat On A Pig Flu
- Spotted Dick Fever
- A Rheumatism Of One’s Own
- Jungle Fever
- The Spanish Peanut Flu
- The Eat Like A Bird Flu
- Love in The Time of Button-Down Cholera
- The Nicetomeetya Strain
- Sad Cow Disease
- The What About Measles
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You forgot ‘If the shoe fits itis’
I like The Sardonic Plague and Sad Cow Disease the best.
Did I ever tell you about my spray tan phase? It was while I was pregnant with my oldest. I was always sickly green from the barfing, and Mystic Tan had just arrived in Milwaukee. So I tried it. I looked like a completely different person (dumber, but way more fun). My coworkers thought it was a hoot. I ended up doing it for about three months, until I had the baby and regained the use of my brain.
So now I need a Twibbon or something, since I’m a survivor of #6.