The Real Housewives And Their One Line Bios
- The housewife who never quite escaped from Witch Mountain.
- She and her family are thick as thieves.
- She is the housewife who wrote a book on a topic about which she knows very little.
- Wait, that describes at least two or three of them — let me try again.
- The one who crashed a party at the White House and thinks nobody lost their job as a result.
- She is the housewife who appears to have no capacity for self-reflection.
- (This is hard).
- The housewife who is married to a restauranteur version of Ozzy Osbourne.
- The one with the $7 million dollar house, bankruptcy, and a husband who works “construction.”
- The one that doesn’t live in a house, and isn’t even a wife.
- (Still thinking.)
- Money could not buy this housewife class (but she thinks that it did).
- The one who was involved in a kidnapping plot in the eighties, and later decided to press charges against a nineteen year old for ripping out her hair extensions.
- A philandering Kelsey Grammer looks like slightly less of a douchebag when compared to this housewife, who is now his ex-wife.
- She is the one who might have had something that looked like an alleged psychotic break on camera, but made up for it by offering everyone gummy bears.
- She is the Real House-business partner.
- The one who is married to the gay guy.
- She is always going to be the one who got her bikini waxed in front of her 14 year old daughter. No, I don’t care what else she does for the rest of her life. That’s it. That is who she is now.
- The one who owns a casino and an NBA team, among other large business assets. But these facts are overshadowed for me, by her choice of putting tinsel in her hair; therefore, she is the housewife that willingly had tinsel woven into her hair and wore a light blue cowboy outfit (in spite of having considerable assets to prevent this kind of behavior).
- She is the one with the crazy eyes.
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