Applying Myself. You Know, Sort Of.
So, officially I still don’t know that I’m not pregnant right now. But because the monstrous, hormonal, beneath-the-skin cystic acne that took root on my cheekbone a few days ago seems to be getting even bigger as the week progresses, and because my experience regarding the appearance of similar zits at like junctures in months past has coincided with a lack of a pregnancy in me, I am operating as though I am not, at present, as they say in overly precious novels, with child.
[I included that part because I am certain that everyone is sitting at home with bated breath waiting to hear the nuances of my two-week-wait statistical hoodoo voodoo analysis. You are very welcome.]
But, after the hand-writing melancholia of the other day, I decided that, as usual, I’ve been behaving like an idiot. Because I’ve been clinging to this idea that it was so easy to get pregnant before so obviously there’s no reason for me to actually put any kind of effort into tracking anything or paying attention to when the best times are to try to get pregnant. For a year, I’ve been relying on this haphazard, “let’s just see what happens” approach as being the final word so that I don’t have to make a decision, but now Mini’s old enough for me to miss having a baby and even if I’m not sure that I’m ready (or will ever be) to pursue formal medical intervention to help me get pregnant (though, again, I never say never about pretty much anything these days), I certainly could at least do what Kerry told me I should be doing a year ago, and try to get on top of the temperature charting/ovulation crap.
Enter the target thermometer.
There must be a bit on this somewhere, incidentally, but when did Target’s in-house brand get renamed “up and up”? Because . . . oh, so many places to go with this. Where to start? Natural family planning . . . on the up and up! Fertility monitoring . . don’t worry, it’s on the up and up! Paternity testing — no, really, it’s on the up and up? What is that about? Why on earth? Why would you name a store brand “up and up”?
This is all a roundabout way of saying, OK, I give up, universe. I’m tracking the goddamn basal temperatures, OK? I woke up at 5:00 am and took my temperature and wrote it down this morning. I did not move beforehand. I was absolutely still. I wrote it down in my stupid notebook. I will do the same tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next, until there is some kind of difference that suggests ovulation, and then we will know that it is the optimal time to get busy to the baby-making.
I’ll leave the rest of the panic until after all of the chart crap is done. That’s the way I’m going to handle it from here on out.