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Nothing To See Here

Nothing To See Here

Man, it seems like there’s a whole lot of shit going down in people’s lives on the interwebs this week, doesn’t it?

African HIV babies, cancer, bankruptcy, pedophiles — jesus fuck, internet. Way to shoot your wad all at once. Maybe spread it out over a couple weeks next time, OK?

Look, I got nothing, people. We’re just hanging over here. Mini’s adjusting to preschool. We are still doing the resistant to transitions thing: he doesn’t want to go in the mornings, he doesn’t want to come home in the afternoons. We are thinking about swimming lessons. A new kid moved in next door and Mini likes him a lot. His name is, let’s say, Nicholas, but Mini can never remember Nicholas, so he starts calling him Ryan whenever he wants to tell him something.

“Hey, Ryan, look at this dinosaur!”
No response.
“Ryan, did you see this dinosaur?”
No response
“Mini, his name is Nicholas.”
“Ryan, I also have this train set.”
“Mini, his name is Nicholas.”
“Ryan’s Dad, how come him doesn’t want to play with my dinosaur or my train set?”

In other disturbing news, and thanks to Mr. Right-Click’s iPad, Mini has discovered YouTube. And along with it, the disturbing world of subversive Thomas The Tank Engine videos. (Yes. There is such a thing. See below, or click here.)

Mini was telling his teachers at school yesterday about “the angry Thomas video” that we were going to watch when we got home, and then I had to apologetically explain that he was watching YouTube, and that it was all Steve Jobs’ fault, because he made it so easy for Mini to run the damn thing by himself, so now I have to watch him like a hawk, and hope that there’s nothing on there that’s too dreadfully violent, or pornographic, or that will cause him to have to have therapy later in life, and that my only hope is that the battery will run out so he will stop playing with it.

I just hope that he’s at least fifteen before he knows how to code stuff better than I can. It seems unlikely, though.

Comments (13)

  1. Sep 29, 2010

    Thank goodness it is not just me…I feel like I want very much to blog and write and code and what have you, but really, it is just life as usual here. Maybe that is s good thing?

    As for the YouTube issues, my computer is a tablet so Cha Cha quickly learned that she can just set herself up, point to what she wants and, as if by magic, it starts playing. Tech savvy little turds, the lot of ’em.

  2. Sep 30, 2010

    I can’t click through to the video because one of the kids is sitting three feet from me…but oh, I can’t tell you how disturbed I am to find that there are subversive Thomas videos out there.

    I have mostly good stuff going on lately. I think I’m out of step with the rest of the internet.

  3. Sep 30, 2010

    Bankruptcy? Pedophilia? The hell?

    Yeah, internet. Way to get crazy during my busiest time. I have no idea what’s going on. I need to expand my reading list, I think. Also: quit my job so I have time to read.

  4. Sep 30, 2010

    Tink would spend every waking non-school minute perusing YouTube videos on my iPod if I let her. One more than one occasion she has found things she KNOWS I would prohibit. She has even casually said to me while watching, “I think I’m going to go upstairs,” hoping I’ll just say, “Sure, honey!” so she can watch Mario Brothers or Tom & Jerry or the myriad subversive “Star Wars”-themed stuff she finds.

  5. Sep 30, 2010

    Oh the Star Wars stuff is the worst. I have to watch him with that thing like a hawk. It just takes a few clicks to get so far down the You Tube trail and you’re into the homemade reimaginations of Luke and Leia and DEAR CHRIST it’s so messed up.

  6. Sep 30, 2010

    It is a good thing, but on weeks like this it is really hard not to feel like there’s a competition going on. I know intellectually that it’s impossible for people to time tragedies in their lives but it is really strange to have things like this happen all at once in a bunch of prominent bloggers lives.

  7. Sep 30, 2010

    Bear in mind that these are the ones that make it past You Tube’s censors. Mini was watching it and kept repeating it, and I said to Mr. Right-Click, “We need to stop him from watching it, he keeps repeating it over and over again like he’s trying to gain mastery over a trauma.”

    The first lines are:

    “Hello, my name is Thomas.”
    “I don’t care who you are: give me all your food and medicine.”

    WTF? Food and medicine? Who goes scrounging for spare medicine other than characters in Coen brothers movies?

  8. Sep 30, 2010

    No, no you don’t. You can catch it the next time around. 🙂

  9. Sep 30, 2010

    I am so out it. So there’s good Thomas videos and subversive ones? Parenting has gotten a lot more complicated.

  10. Sara
    Sep 30, 2010

    Glossary, HELP!! I have no idea what’s going on. Helllllllllp!

  11. Sep 30, 2010

    Check out, in order:

    Herbadmother
    Amalah
    Uppercasewoman
    The Spohrs Are Multiplying

    all are posts within the last few days or so.

  12. Hope
    Oct 1, 2010

    Watch out for the YouTube videos that are Batman done stop-motion with Legos. Seems completely innocuous but once you start listening to the audio — expletives and gay-bashing. Obviously some teenage boys have WAY too much time on their hands.

  13. Sara
    Oct 1, 2010

    Oh. Oh my. No.

    The first two I’m familiar with but not invested in their stories, so I’m kinda like, yeah ok whatevs. I think my thoughts on these two are closely aligned with yours, that’s all I’ll say.

    I’m horrified by Heather’s ordeal. Nothing but kind thoughts for her and hers.

    But that Uppercase Woman? WHY? why would you tell the Internet that you’re filthy and you don’t pay your bills? Why do you, Anna, read her blog? WHY did you send me there? I wish I could un-read it. I know what it’s like to struggle with money and I don’t wish it on anyone, but WHYYYYYYYY would you willing confess to any and everyone that you don’t take care of your shit? What does she stand to gain from that and furthermore, what do readers stand to gain from reading it??

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