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It Just Starts So Damn Early, Far Earlier Than We Ever Could Have Anticipated

It Just Starts So Damn Early, Far Earlier Than We Ever Could Have Anticipated

knock knock

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Goldfish.”
“Goldfish who?”
“Goldfish in your buttocks!”

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Light bulb.”
“Light bulb who?”
“Light bulb inside your buttocks!

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Car!”
“Car who?”
“Car . . . inside your poopy buttocks toilet!”
“Mini, I’m not sure that you are . . .”
“NO! NO! MAMA DON’T SAY THOSE WORDS!
“I just wanted to suggest that perhaps the concept of the knock-knock joke had eluded–“
“DON’T SAY THOSE WORDS THEM MAKE ME SO ANGRY!”
“OK! OK! I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
” . . . “
“Why do they make you angry?”
“Because them just do.”
“But you don’t even know what I was going to say.”
“MAMA!”
“OK! Sorry. Sorry.”
“. . .”
“. . .”
“Mama?”
“Yes?”
“Knock knock.”
“Sigh. Who’s there?”
“Buttocks.”

Comments (13)

  1. Sep 28, 2010

    The punchline with our girls (2,4,6) is “nipple” and I blush and cringe every time. Sigh.

  2. Sep 28, 2010

    When my 3-year old used to sing songs, he’d get to a point where he didn’t know the words, and then after a slight pause would continue with the tune, but replace the lyrics with “poopy poopy poopy poopy poopy!”

    While mildly horrified, I was impressed with his rhythm…

  3. Sep 28, 2010

    I believe I warned you that these days were coming. Actually he’s right on track, the age where it starts, it will end in about a year or less. The bad knock-Knock jokes, they’ll end about 2nd-3rd grade.

    Ahhh toddlerhood.

  4. Sep 28, 2010

    If only I’d had the foresight to teach them the word “buttocks” instead of “butt.” It sounds better that way.

  5. Sep 28, 2010

    Oh my.

    Please excuse my hysterical laughter…

  6. Sep 28, 2010

    Hey, those are better than most knock-knock jokes I hear…

  7. Sep 28, 2010

    Hilarious!

  8. Sep 28, 2010

    I used to stick my fingers in my ears. My kids would pull them out of course and continue merrily along with the knock knock jokes.

  9. Kader
    Sep 29, 2010

    On the bright side, he sounds more like a wordsmith than an engineer. Some days, I just need to see the silver lining.

  10. Mini is a smart man, he knows where the money is, it sits with all the dick & fart jokes 🙂 They learn so young.

  11. danish
    Sep 29, 2010

    My 4.5 year old boy’s favorite is poo poo. He even taught himself to spell it so he can chant p-o-o p-o-o over and over. When he does it in front of strangers? I just love it. Not.

  12. Sep 29, 2010

    LOL. Better than most of the writers on SNL, anyway.

  13. snarkoleptic
    Sep 29, 2010

    My favorite Knock Knock response: “I’m busy right now….no really, I can’t answer the door. Daddy can answer the door”…
    but yes, every knock knock has something to do with butts, pee or poop.

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