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Complications Presented By Social Media To The Annual Meeting Of The Bilderberg Group

Complications Presented By Social Media To The Annual Meeting Of The Bilderberg Group

  1. Absolute secrecy of the attendant’s identities is difficult to maintain when people use breaks between talks to tweet updates like “Taco truck is made of TEH AWESOME but sure wish @BillClinton would quit bogarting the chimichurri #Bilderberg.”
  2. Swag started out as another nice perk of attending the annual conference, but as the years progressed, people’s expectations got higher and higher, until Facebook pages were suggesting that the attendants’ Epiphanie camera Bags actually contained keys to “gifted” lear jets.
  3. Admittedly, the introduction of corporate sponsorship to the conference made it challenging to hide some of the political affiliations of Bilderberg members from public notice. Still, surely somebody might have anticipated the picture of the “Thanks To The New National Socialist Party We Can Stylishly Roast Our Weenies” placard would be a hit on the Bilderberg public Flickr Feed.
  4. High off the all-day wine tastings and tours, some of the younger Bilderberg members felt emboldened to submit a picture of George W. Bush hunched over a wine cask bearing the caption “POLITICAL KITTEH SEZ GRAPE JUICE SMELLS GOOD.” It took 90 seconds after submission for the photo to make it to the front page of Digg.
  5. The decorative flower hair ornaments provided for particpants’ hair at dinner on evening two were adorable. Unfortunately, organizers did not realize, as they stood in ironic Charlies Angels-inspired poses for iPhone camera photos to be sent out throughout the world via TwitPic, that they had unwittingly emblazoned themselves with the colors of the soccer teams of rival countries. It would take eighteen months and the deployment of NATO troops to quell the riot activity in some of the affected countries.
  6. After a few unexpected last-minute cancellations from key attendees, Bilderberg organizers scrambled to find people who could make the trip on short notice. These participants, torn between being thrilled to be chosen to attend such an elite conference and being miffed at not being on the first list of invitees, mounted a Google Bomb campaign, deploying their considerable social networks so effectively that the Bilderberg website would be forever thereafter be strongly associated in Google’s search algorithms with the phrase “Annual Meeting of the International Professional Douchebag Federation.”

Glossary terms: Bilderberg, swag, Mighty Summit, Broad Summit, taco truck, stylishly light these marshmallows afire, Google Bomb

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  1. Write a “list” post on your blog.
  2. Copy this code, and paste in the text of your post:
  3. Either comment or email me at anna at abdpbt dot com to let me know you’re participating, and I’ll link you up below.

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  3. Ginger at Ramble Ramble
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  5. Shasta at Blogging With Mittens

Comments (14)

  1. Sep 20, 2010

    i laughed out loud at #1. 🙂

  2. Sep 20, 2010

    I have nothing useful to add, I just wanted to comment that I thought this was hilarious. Thanks for the laughs.

  3. Sep 20, 2010

    The Bilderberg glossary entry perfectly captures what I hate about this whole thing.

    I have to say, I liked “stylishly light these marshmallows afire.” But that could be my love of s’mores talking.

  4. Sep 20, 2010

    What about the fact that She Posts sponsored sticks? You didn’t find that droll? Because I did.

  5. Sep 20, 2010

    Admittedly, perhaps not as great as an asshole hawking moist asswipes. But still pretty good.

  6. Sep 20, 2010

    I love List Mondays.

  7. Sep 20, 2010

    No one is ever, ever going to top having the same person finds the mommyblogosphere totally embarrassing appearing in an asswipe commercial. It’s my favorite thing in the entire history of the internet.

  8. Sep 20, 2010

    I’m so lost right now, but I’m totally OK with that. I’m just lucky that I’m still typing real words.

    My list – 6 Reasons I Can’t Form a Coherent Blog Post Today: http://bloggingwithmittens.wordpress.com/2010/09/20/6-reasons-i-cant-form-a-coherent-blog-post-today/

  9. Sep 21, 2010

    How come I get 404ed when I click on Bilderberg?

    And what am I missing from Kerry’s comment about…moist…asswipes?

    I feel I am walking right past a rich lode of…something.

  10. Sep 21, 2010

    Bilderberg is working for me? I don’t know why you got 404’d. As for the moist asswipes, that referred to this ad for moist asswipes which features a cameo from a certain mommyblogger.

  11. Sep 21, 2010

    Every time I try to read the Bilderberg definition, I break the internet.

  12. Sep 21, 2010

    try it now and see if it’s better. I took some of the code out.

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