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19 More Rejected Ideas For “Best Of” Online Mom Lists

19 More Rejected Ideas For “Best Of” Online Mom Lists

[Editor’s note: See the first round here.]

  1. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Care So Little About Their Inclusion On The List That They Have Tweeted About It Only Five Times Since 8 am This Morning.
  2. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Have Retweeted Something Today That Makes Other People Look Bad, Without Waiting To Find Out Context
  3. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Say “Fuck Context! Give Me More Coffee!”
  4. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Think Tweets About Needing Coffee And/Or Tranquilizers Are Always Relevant, Interesting, And Clever
  5. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Still Think Using LOLCat Speak Is Funny.
  6. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Ever Thought Using LOLCat Speak Was Funny.
  7. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Seem To Have Confused The Definition Of “Controversial” With The Definition For “Non-Threatening”
  8. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Are The Most Likely To Link To The List On Their Blogs
  9. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Are Honored, Really — But They Hate These Lists, They Really Do
  10. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Never Make These Lists, But They Don’t Really Care Because The Lists Don’t Mean Anything
  11. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Will Bring The List Up On Twitter In The Unlikely Situation That The Publication Of The List Fails To Create Some Kind Of Controversy That Yields Thousands Of Page Views
  12. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Regularly Spell The Word “Lose” With More Than One “O.”
  13. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Have Used The Douche Period On Me
  14. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Have Used The Douche Period On Me On Several Occasions
  15. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Have Blocked Me
  16. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Have Blocked Me But Still Continue To @-Reply Me, With Or Without The Douche Period
  17. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Nominated Themselves For The Top 50 Twitter Moms List
  18. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Would Never Nominate Themselves For The Top 50 Twitter Moms List
  19. Top 50 Twitter Moms Who Are Just Hoping They Make The Next List, Whatever It Is

Glossary terms: Babble lists, machinery of dumb, LOLCat speak, douche period, provocative

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Comments (34)

  1. Sep 13, 2010

    What about the Top 50 Mums who unfollow everyone else who was included on the list, just to make a statement.

    And damn these lists, they never are available to view in Oz.

  2. Sep 13, 2010

    Thank you for number 12.

    Seriously, thank you. One of my pet peeves.

  3. Sep 13, 2010

    It would be funnier if it weren’t so true. All of it.

  4. Sep 13, 2010

    Top 5 Twitter Moms Who Think This Shit Is Hilarious, and Cop to It.

  5. Sep 13, 2010

    I’m sensing a spin off list of what should happen to #12.

  6. Sep 13, 2010

    #2, it’s what’s for breakfast,lunch & dinner on twitter.

    Honestly I’m with Kerry, it’s all true.

  7. Sep 13, 2010

    I still think douche period is awesome. Just plain awesome, though, not epically brill, or brings teh awesome or whatever other LOLcat speak I could come up with but instead I think I’ll stop now. Or nao, as it were.

  8. Sep 13, 2010

    Your scorn and contempt continue to delight.

    Ooh, Top 50 Twitter Moms Whose Scorn and Contempt Continue to Delight!

    My list post: 7 Reasons to Like Fall – http://bloggingwithmittens.wordpress.com/2010/09/13/7-reasons-to-like-fall/

  9. Sep 13, 2010

    I’m getting such an education, here. Douche Period? I thought the purpose of that period was to tell twitter feeds that automatically repost to Facebook to not feed the post that follows. (So, anything that starts with a period doesn’t get fed to Facebook.) I had no idea it would “force” it to show up for other people. Does it do both of those things or is it possible you’ve misunderstood the purpose?

    Then again, one of my Twitter buds said this morning: “Monday Morning PSA – If you still have twitter auto-feeding to your facebook account, it’s time to turn it off. Your fb friends are annoyed.” And that made me laugh because GOOD GOD YES, no one needs that all over FB.

    And I think #9 is my favorite. 😉

  10. Sep 13, 2010

    Ooh, that’s a good one. Does that really happen? I’m never included on the lists, so I have no idea. LOL

  11. Sep 13, 2010

    I really don’t understand that one, but it seems to be a real problem: it’s up there with “it’s” being used as a possessive.

  12. Sep 13, 2010

    Well, there is that problem.

  13. Sep 13, 2010

    You really think there are five of them? I think you might be the only one.

  14. Sep 13, 2010

    And don’t forget “definately”.

  15. Sep 13, 2010

    You mean besides being beaten mercilessly?

  16. Sep 13, 2010

    Douche Period is inspired. Please to be enjoying Maria’s new term, the douche period.

  17. Sep 13, 2010

    Hah! I think most of the scorn and contempt is hidden, so it would be hard to find 50 to fill the list. But it’s there, I’m certain.

  18. Sep 13, 2010

    I don’t know about the Facebook thing, because the one that I have used required that you put in #fb at the end if you want it to show up on Facebook. It’s possible there’s another app though.

    But it definitely does make an @ reply show up in everybody’s feed instead of just people who follow, the same way it will work if you put the @ reply after other words in the tweet. I remember asking this specifically when I first started seeing the douche period because I couldn’t figure out why people were using it.

    See, these are really important issues we are broaching here. It’s important that everyone who uses the douche period understands what they are doing. It’s a public service.

  19. Sep 13, 2010

    I keep thinking at some point the worst offenders will realize that they are doing this, but no — every morning, it’s the same thing.

  20. Sep 13, 2010

    Surely we can get more creative than that. Maybe, forcing them to watch Justin Bieber videos non-stop until they beg to be beaten mercilessly.

  21. Sep 13, 2010

    I’d like to add that they be forced to watch “The Fresh Beat Band” on Nick Jr, because that thing is a form of torture for sure.

    Nananana let’s go bananas! Nananana let’s go bananas! UGGGH

  22. Sep 13, 2010

    yeah, that one is weird, too, because spellcheck should catch it.

  23. Sep 13, 2010

    YES. Oh how I hate that show. Like, more than Wonder Pets, even.

  24. Sep 13, 2010

    Top 50 Twitter Moms “OMG I can’t believe I made a Top 50 List even though I am on every other Top 50 list, I am so honored and humbled”

  25. Sep 13, 2010

    12. I mean, I’m bad at spelling sometimes, but 12 is like nails on a blackboard to me.

    I must say, though, I actually love the brouhaha when these lists come out. Maybe it’s because I know how lists of any kind are a crap shoot (hi, NYT Bestseller list), so I find it funny when the blogosphere gets their collective panties in a wad over them.

    My much less interesting list is up: http://rambleramble.com/2010/09/13/updates-and-thoughts-via-bullet/

  26. Sep 13, 2010

    Apparently it does happen, but I’m not normally part of the lists to know.

  27. Sep 13, 2010

    I DEMAND THAT YOU REMOVE ME IMMEDIATELY. I don’t care to belong to any list that will have me as a member.

  28. Sep 14, 2010

    I confess that “it’s” is my biggest mistake. Here’s the problem: I know the rule. Okay, trust me, I know it. I’m not an idiot, I promise. But for some reason my fingers never remember the rule when I’m typing. I try to double-check for it every time, but I’m sure sometimes I miss and then the reader thinks I am a moron.

    Don’t you have some words that you just can’t spell right the first time? This is one of mine.

  29. Sep 14, 2010

    Yes, I do, actually. I never spell “privilege” right the first time. There’s a joke in there somewhere.

  30. Sep 14, 2010

    Nope, it’s pretty much slathered in scorn and contempt.

    And also great.

  31. Sep 14, 2010

    So true. I’m not sure exactly what the proper response would be, because they are always included, but that does seem particularly absurd.

  32. Sep 14, 2010

    Do you think this will continue, indefinitely, though? Because Babble seems to be on about a three to six month schedule at this point. Is there going to be collective outrage every single time a list comes out? I thought we would avoid it this time, in fact, until somebody (who was on the list) kept mentioning it on Twitter, as if to incite people to be upset about it, and then, sure enough, people did get upset.

  33. Sep 14, 2010

    That’s the funny thing for me: Babble is stupid.

    If they really wanted to drive traffic and get attention, they’d wipe out that list and then just come out with the same title–but all new people. Can you IMAGINE the attention that would get? It would be amazing.

    As it is, the same people make those lists, and their readers are the ones who read Babble, so they keep the same audience they’ve always had. If they picked 50 new people, that’d be 50 new bloggers bringing their audience to Babble. It’s all upside for them.

    I understand being lazy. I’m lazy too. But I don’t understand being so lazy that you completely miss the point of creating your list, which can only be TRAFFIC. If you’re going to do it, don’t you want to do it in a way that generates traffic? I mean, duh.

  34. Sep 14, 2010

    That’s true, if you pick new people, particularly newer mommybloggers who would be thrilled to be included and who would link on their blogs and tweet about it endlessly, you’d get new readers and probably drum up all kinds of new loyal readers. Instead, you get a bunch of people who come in for one day and nominate themselves in the “who is your favorite” section, and the traffic dies off after a few days. Many of the people on the list are their own bloggers, though, so maybe it’s a way of reiterating that we should be reading those columns?

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