10 Uses For White After Labor Day
- Follow Glenn Beck around on tour selling handmade commemorative hoods at an outrageous markup.
- Four words: Halloween — Good Humor Man.
- Continue to enjoy the largely unconscious privilege of being able to ignore it most of the time.
- Every once in a while, bring it out as an excuse for why you cannot dance or jump.
- Throw it in as a hackneyed symbol of goodness and hope it in the intricate, barely comprehensible deus ex machina that concludes the TV series Lost
- Consider lending it some of it to a friend whose website has a black background, so that maybe people can start actually reading the content there.
- Keep it in your glove compartment in case you get pulled over by the LAPD in a wealthy neighborhood late at night.
- Invite it to host Saturday Night Live to appease the womenfolk.
- Use it as the inspiration for a late sixties Cream song, then put it on an infomercial aired on daytime TV in the late eighties; a generation of kids will grow up realizing that they know the words to the chorus without ever having heard the song in its entirety.
- Go into business making flags of surrender for when the space people come (and they will come).
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