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17 Inventive Euphemisms For Fuck Off, Asshole(s)

17 Inventive Euphemisms For Fuck Off, Asshole(s)

mayor of your mom

  1. I’m taking my talents to South Beach.
  2. Oh? Well, I’m taking my talents to YOUR MOM.
  3. That’s interesting, because I recently became the mayor of your mom.
  4. This is hard, because I know how loyal I am . . . to YOUR FACE.
  5. I know how loyal I am to YOUR MOM.
  6. I know how loyal I am to YOUR MOM’S FACE.
  7. [Really, any repetition of a version of these with “FACE or “YOUR MOM” substituted in at the end.]
  8. If there is a copyright issue with that image, let us know and we will happily remove it.
  9. [For example, “If there is a copyright issue with that image, let us know and we will happily get YOUR MOM to remove it,” or “we will happily ask YOUR MOM to remove it from YOUR FACE.”]
  10. The facts reflect that BlogHer actually is doing a better job of monetizing your blog for you this year versus last.
  11. All animals are equal. Some animals are more equal than others.
  12. Rough Day? Hugs!
  13. If you don’t want an iPhone, don’t buy it.
  14. If you bought an iPhone and you don’t like it, bring it back.
  15. We’re not perfect. We know that. Our phones aren’t perfect. But we want to make our users happy.
  16. The iPhone 4 is perhaps the best product we have ever made at Apple.
  17. Noted.

Glossary terms: sparklecorn, unicorn cake, MamaPop, copyright issue, weeping from the awesome, monetizing your blog for you, taking my talents to South Beach

Got a list to share? Here’s what to do:

  1. Write a “list” post on your blog.
  2. Copy this code, and paste in the text of your post:
  3. Either comment or email me at anna at abdpbt dot com to let me know you’re participating, and I’ll link you up below.

Check out these list lovers

  1. Establishing Rules For Trips, Barters, & Other Blogger Grey Areas | ABDPBT Personal Finance
  2. Kitchen Door Katy
  3. Brooke at Mommy in Chief
  4. Lisa at Seriously Take 2
  5. Ginger at Ramble Ramble
  6. Amanda at Adventures of a Sober Mommy

Comments (8)

  1. Jul 19, 2010

    This reminds me that I have to find time to go catch up on that sparkle-vegetable thing and see what happened.

    I’m going to laugh if they have to change the name to Sparklecucumber and make the mascot a glittery donkey or something.

  2. Jul 19, 2010

    Ah yes, Animal Farm really is the perfect metaphor for this life known as blogging…

    Honestly, a good “your mom” retort never goes out of style, let us all remember the “Kyl vs. Stabenow Incident of Sept 2009.”

    Going to put this list to good use for sure!

  3. Jul 19, 2010

    Ugh. There is very little else as annoying in the blogosphere than the Unicorn Humpers.

    My list:
    http://kitchendoor-katy.blogspot.com/2010/07/ten-reasons-to-change-your-blog-name.html

  4. Jul 19, 2010

    I said it on Twitter and I’ll say it again here: you make me giggle.

  5. Jul 19, 2010

    As usual I understand maybe .01 % of the list. But a glittery donkey would be awesome.

  6. Jul 19, 2010

    I’m working #9 in conversation today. IE8 accidentally got pushed to everyone’s machine over the weekend, so I think I’m going to answer calls with “If you can’t use IE8, we will happily ask YOUR MOM to remove it from YOUR FACE.” (Cause why are they using IE anyway?)

    I have my list up! http://tinyurl.com/3axuqq3

  7. Jul 19, 2010

    I still don’t get the whole Sparklecorn thing, but I have a need for those brain cells, so I’ll let it go.

    My (first ever) list:
    http://mommyinchief.blogspot.com/2010/07/why-im-destined-for-mommyblogging.html

  8. Jul 19, 2010

    oh, the cries of Your Face that erupt from our house…

    My list is up: http://bit.ly/dfjCLY

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