The Next Level
“Your readers, right now — they’re bloggers. You need more regular people reading you. You need, like those women at the preschool birthday party. That’s who you need. Get more of the blog readers. Not the blog writers. That’s how you’re going to get to the Next Level.”
Periodically we have these kinds of discussions, Mr. Right-Click and I, about the hypothetical Next Level. On the Next Level, Mr. Right-Click becomes a Gentleman of Elegant Leisure while I manage my blogging empire. On the Next Level, Mr. Right-Click snaps Daguerrotypes in between rounds of golf, wears his seersucker trousers rolled, dares to eat a peach. &c.
“See, what are ‘badges’? I’ve read the whole glossary definition, and I still don’t know what badges are.” The problem with me and the Next Level, is the inside baseball problem, you see. Nobody outside of this small circle of blogging can understand what the hell I’m talking about.
“What . . . you’re, you’re not the target audience, honey,” I say. I always say this. Because, he is not the intended audience. Blogger or not.
“Wait, so are you a member of Blog With Integrity?”
“What are you fucking kidding me? Did you even read the definition? Why in fuck’s sake would you think I would be a member of that paternalistic pseudoMcCarthyism fascist –“
“Oh, OK, see, I see now, now that I read this I see how you feel about it.”
“This is what I’m talking about. How can you say what it takes to get to The Next Level if you’re not reading the whole entry?”
“I could see how maybe it would be useful for like, kids or something.”
“What? The Next Level?”
“No, this Blog With Integrity thing.”
It’s not for kids! It’s for adults!”
“No, I know.”
“It’s for women, grown women!”
“By grown women — for other women!”
“Interesting that you should introduce the paternalistic metaphor, though! VERY INTERESTING.”
“Let’s see what’s on TV.”
Glossary terms: BlogWithIntegrity, integrity, badges, EVENT, OMG Ponies