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Before I met Mr. Right-Click, my longest relationship lasted two years, assuming you counted from the beginning of when I met the guy to the last time I ever spoke to him. If you counted actual time spent in the relationship, it was probably more like six months.

Normal people spend their youths flitting about from relationship to relationship, trying people on like a new dress or a pair of shoes. I used to watch those people when I was younger, thinking how great it would be to just be one of those women that men just liked. The sweet, kind girls with pretty hair, or even the ones who weren’t sweet but would always pretend to be.

For many years of my life, being one half of a real, honest-to-goodness couple seemed impossible. I wasn’t sure what it would be like to be one of the people who had real relationships that didn’t end in some kind of drunken fight or power struggle over who called whom when and for what reason. I wasn’t sure that I could even exist inside that kind of relationship, but I knew I wanted it. I think there was part of me that thought if I could just find that, everything else in my life would be fine.

People like to say that they meet their life partners when they weren’t looking for a relationship — it gratifies some kind of self-help truism in the collective unconscious. There had never been a time in my life that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and when I met Mr. Right-Click I was on the tail end of a long foray into online dating that had resulted in a tome of interesting dating stories, but also tons of bitterness. I almost didn’t go to our first date. I almost decided that I had had enough.

But I did go.

Life doesn’t always adhere to consistent narratives, but even still you might find what you were looking for, even when you are actively looking, on that one time when you most didn’t want to go. And if you can find the strength to suit up and show up, even if only on the principle of the thing, you might find that is the day that you meet your best champion. That day might be the day you finally meet not just a man, but the man who not only knew how to love you without instruction, and the friend who would help you become the best version of yourself. The you that you never knew existed.

I cannot believe it’s been four years. I love you, Mr. Right-Click. Happy Anniversary.

Comments (15)

  1. Kader
    Jun 24, 2010

    Congratulations! Isn’t it amazing that there really is one day (one moment?) that changes the rest of your life like that?

  2. Jun 24, 2010


    Also, I’m pretty sure he’s not a real gang member.

  3. Jun 24, 2010

    This was beautiful! Happy Anniversary!

    I am pretty sure we might be the same person. Except that I am still stuck in the 22 year old version of you 🙂

  4. Mr. Right-Click
    Jun 24, 2010

    Happy love birthday, my sweetheart! I love you! And I’m so happy you like the necklace.
    Love, DRCL

  5. Jun 24, 2010

    Happy Anniversary!

  6. Jun 24, 2010

    You guys are so cute. Happy Anniversary!

  7. Jun 24, 2010

    Happy Anniversary! That’s a very hopeful take on relationship-hunting. I like it.

    My ninth anniversary was yesterday, but the 20th anniversary of our couplehood is coming up in January (long story involving parental/cultural disapproval). It’s great to find a soul mate, and crazy to think about all the serendipity involved in getting you together. Congrats!

  8. Denise
    Jun 24, 2010

    Great read, Anna! I have been trying to give myself that same pep talk for a while now rather unsuccessfully. Know that in the midst of being all sweet to your hubby, your friend got something out of it too.

    Happy Anniversary!

  9. Jun 24, 2010

    Happy Anniversary, you two!

  10. Jun 24, 2010

    Happiest anniversary, Anna and MRC. Sometimes you find it, sometimes it finds you, sometimes you get married in Oyster Bay. Peace, you two kids.

  11. Jun 24, 2010

    You give me hope that maybe, somewhere out there, that kind of relationship could exist for me.

    Happy Anniversary you guys. Much happiness to you always.

  12. Jun 24, 2010

    Happy Anniversary to the two of you!

  13. Happy Anniversary!! May you continue to grow in love together 🙂

  14. Jun 25, 2010

    Happy Anniversary to you!! May you have many more years together!

  15. Jun 25, 2010

    Huzzah! and Happy Anniversary!

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