8 Subtle Signs Of Progress At Augusta National Golf Club
- The full-length white jumpsuits required for caddies to wear at all times whilst on the course at Augusta are now made from 100% cotton cloth, instead of a cotton-poly blend.
- Similarly, in an effort to reflect the lessening conspicuous consumption of the recession, the lettering on signature green members’ jackets are now done in gold plate instead of 24-karat. Jackets given to the winners of the Masters Golf Tournament have lettering done in goldenrod polyester.
- The club still won’t let a woman join its membership roster, but they will allow a black man on the course, provided he’s either a caddy, or sponsored by Nike.
- Among the ideas tossed about for a rebranding of the Masters Golf Tournament this year were: Plantation Owners Invitational, The Old Southern Gentry Championship, and The (Proverbial) Man Open.
- In honor of the club’s rich history as a bastion of high-ranking corporate officials, the famed “Eisenhower Tree” on the 17th hole has been rechristened the Institutional Racism Industrial Complex Botanical Outgrowth.
- The second shot at the 11th hole, all of the 12th hole, and the tee shot at the 13th hole at Augusta, once nicknamed “Amen corner,” are now referred to as “That Fucking SUCKS! corner” by Tiger Woods.
- Suspected members of the club have taken a more playful approach to press queries, saying things like, “The first rule of Augusta is don’t talk about Augusta,” or “You know why they call it the Masters’, right? I mean, this isGeorgia.”
- Though the club won’t allow a woman as a member, women are permitted to serve as caddies in the Masters Golf Tournament each year. They are also cordially invited “to get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich, bitch.”
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