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34 Rejected Acronyms For Oprah Winfrey’s New Cable TV Network

34 Rejected Acronyms For Oprah Winfrey’s New Cable TV Network

  1. BUY
  2. PWN
  3. CONSUME
  4. CONSPICUOUSLY CONSUME
  5. CONSUME IN SECRET
  6. COOP
  7. LOAN
  8. SELL
  9. RENT
  10. PAWN
  11. GOT IT
  12. GOT IT
  13. NEED IT
  14. GOT IT
  15. MERGE
  16. SPLURGE
  17. SUBLET
  18. WEALTHGROAN
  19. FAWN
  20. CRACK POT
  21. DON’T WORRY ABOUT VACCINATING YOUR CHILD
  22. CONGLOMERATE
  23. YAWN
  24. GAYLE
  25. GAYLE
  26. GAYLE
  27. PURPLE
  28. THE COLOR PURPLE
  29. ONLY WANT TO SEE YOU LAUGHING IN THE PURPLE RAIN
  30. PURPLE RAIN
  31. PURPLE RAIN
  32. THE NETWORK FORMERLY KNOWN AS PURPLE RAIN

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Comments (16)

  1. Nov 23, 2009

    #34 – awesome.

    Gird yourself, it's going to be more than two years of farewell-touring-type celebrations of her fabulousness. Which would be fine if she were retiring.

    I think a list appeared on my site somehow. Still unsure how it happened.

  2. Nov 23, 2009

    Wait—she's been telling people not to vaccinate? Really??? Wow.

    My list is up.

  3. Nov 23, 2009

    You just summed up Oprah perfectly with that list. You also summed up every reason I don’t like her personally.
    My list is up.

  4. Nov 23, 2009

    I know. It's going to be so tedious. Of course, I have really not been watching her for about a year, and I was a semi regular viewer before that. She's gotten so crazy and annoying lately.

  5. Nov 23, 2009

    Well, she's not doing it, but by having Jenny McCarthy on to talk about vaccines and autism, and then inviting her back to be a regular part of the show, I think suggests that she endorses that crazy idea. And the last time I was at the pediatrician, she was so furious about Jenny McCarthy. I think without Oprah, that level of saturation with the idea the vaccines are bad would not have been possible.

  6. Nov 23, 2009

    She has gotten impossible to take in recent years, I have to agree.

  7. Nov 23, 2009

    Harry Winston?

  8. Nov 23, 2009

    Good guess, but I found him. Jacob the Jeweler: http://www.jacobandcojewelry.com/

  9. Nov 23, 2009

    Oh geez. I would like to gather all of the 19th-century death certificates for children in my research files and send them to Jenny McCarthy. Even if vaccines DID cause autism, I would much rather have an autistic child than a dead one. Whole families of children were routinely wiped out 100 years ago by diseases we can't even pronounce today. Vaccines are good. We're just really, really spoiled.

    Oh, don't get me started. I could rant all day on this topic.

  10. Nov 23, 2009

    Oh that's right! The guy who made Reese Witherspoon's engagement ring back in the day. We need to get those into production before she files a cease and desist, though.

  11. Nov 23, 2009

    Can't you like, patent that, or something real quick-like? And then Jacob can churn 'em out and they'll make it on to her list of favorite things and we'll be gazillionaires and then we'll have our own planes. I've always wanted my own plane. Similar to the Criminal Minds plane. I LOVE that plane.

  12. Nov 23, 2009

    Yeah, I love that Criminal Minds plane. How come the government funds that, do you think? Serial Killer finding teams cannot fly coach?

  13. Nov 23, 2009

    It's TARP money. And serial killer-finders can't be bothered by security and such – too time consuming. Their own plane is fast and secure and FAST to get to the crime scene on the double! And oh, I do want one. I should tell Santa.

  14. Nov 23, 2009

    I love the Prince/O symbol. We should get one of those made…who's that famous jeweler that makes all the stuff for the rap stars? We should get him. List up! I'm back!

  15. Nov 23, 2009

    Well, it's not just that, it's those freeloading fuckers who just depend upon the rest of us responsible people to get our kids vaccinated. I mean, even with all of the information I had, I was still afraid to get that MMR vaccine, just on the off chance that something bad MIGHT happen, but I did it anyway, because it's the right thing to do. People like Jenny McCarthy give those assholes license to be irresponsible. If you talk to many parents of kids who have autism, they will tell you that they would vaccinate their kids all over again, because like you said, I'd much rather have an autistic kid than a kid who died of some horrible illness.

  16. Mr. Right-Click
    Nov 24, 2009

    I will miss her shows where she gives stuff away to everyone in the audience. And she got that woman who had her face removed by that monkey on the other day, so I guess I'll miss shit like that too. I admire her as a business person, I support the Angel Network and admire her attempts to get her viewers to read books. And there there is her weight up and down, up and down, that's fun. And what's up with her and Gayle? Is it just me or doesn't it seem strange Oprah never got married? Can't they at least adopt?

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