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Vampire In Brass Plum

Vampire In Brass Plum

So I was tooling around the West side yesterday, just trying to kill some time while my geriatric cat was having tests done, and at some point I found myself on the third floor of Nordstrom. After a pointless perusal of TBD, I took a right at Individualist and was just about to board the down escalator and check out the cosmetics department when HOLY FUCKING HELL was that a vampire I just saw in Brass Plum?

Hey, he looks just like that kid who played Cedric Diggory in the fourth Harry Potter.

Hey, he looks just like that kid who played Cedric Diggory in the fourth Harry Potter.

Now granted, the lighting isn’t all that great at the WSP Nordstrom, but it still seemed pretty bright for a vampire to just be walking around like that. And there was definitely some early afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows at the edges of the store, but dude was NOT sparkling for shit. Not at ALL. He was just standing there. Big let down.

Of course, then I realized that there wasn’t just a vampire there. There was also a really stupid-looking werewolf.

But, you're right, you don't really want your dogs to be SMART. You want them to be obedient.

But, you're right, you don't really want your dogs to be SMART. You want them to be obedient.

I mean, there are some smart dogs, but it’s not like the species as a whole is known for being intelligent. Still, I feel like this looks like a really stupid breed of dog. I could be wrong. I didn’t talk to him or ask him to fetch anything. Also, sometimes you don’t want a smart dog, right? You want your dog to be obedient, and friendly. That’s why golden retrievers are more popular than poodles. Also, the fact that golden retrievers are way cuter. What was I talking about?

Oh yeah. So all this talk of vampires and werewolves, and I started wondering what I would look like, if I were Bella, tragically torn between two supernatural beings that wanted to devour me. I’m not sure, but I think I’d probably wear a lot of flannel, and be like 40-50 pounds lighter than I am right now, and bite my lip a lot. I can almost picture it.

High-heeled feet are super flattering.

High-heeled feet are super flattering.

I’m going to have to work on the lip-biting emo stuff. But I’ll get there.

Comments (4)

  1. I apologize for the following, grossly obvious comment, but seriously, they could put those cardboard stand-ups in the actual movies and they’d be far, far better than the real actors.

    And they’re in the women’s active department? I apologize for this, too – sigh…

    At the bookstore yesterday, we got a shipment of New Moon musical jewelry boxes, tshirts and posters. I left work Monday a book seller and returned Tuesday to find myself employed at Hot Topix.

  2. Nov 4, 2009

    How much time do you think the employees spend keeping those cutouts from being hauled off by rabid teenagers?

  3. Nov 4, 2009

    Well, actually, Brass Plum is more of a juniors section. For the record, I was NOT browsing there. I was just walking by.

  4. Nov 4, 2009

    I know, it’s absurd. The were also selling “twilight venom” downstairs, which is I guess the lip venom stuff rebranded in honor of this dumbass movie.

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