16 Signs Your Cult Leader Might Be Insane
- He changes his name to Ocho Cinco.
- He keeps saying things like “How’s that workin’ for ya?” and “You need to get off the wrong track and get on the right train” with an Oklahoman accent. When he’s from Rhode Island.
- He starts hanging out with Andy Dick.
- She keeps going on and on about “death panels” and when you question her on it, she quits her job as Governor of Alaska.
- He makes a big show of hating the French, and encourages you to do things like pour out your bottles of French wine and stop eating French fries, even though you object by saying that French fries are from Belgium, and this is stupid.
- They decide to release their best product to date–possibly the best product ever, and then give an exclusive service contract for that product to AT&T.
- Directly after being criticized for using her power to sway customer service departments in her favor, she follows up by parlaying a two-state virtual manhunt for a friend-of-a-friend’s missing trust fund cousin into an opportunity to bully one of her detractors into blocking her Twitter account.
- He thinks that you can avoid paying for health care if you eat enough brown rice and tempeh.
- She starts referring to herself in the third person and announcing things in a long, drawn-out and overly theatrical fashion, like “Ooooooohprah.”
- He keeps pestering you about downloading his ebook, and when you finally do, it’s just pages and pages of “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” in different configurations.
- He starts talking about doing a guest spot on Entourage.
- She repeatedly makes her dog balance things on his head so that she can take a picture of it, Photoshop it, and then post it on the internet. Like, for years she does this.
- He hires two employees to tweet for him, and most of his tweets are like a step away from spam to begin with.
- He starts talking about this “one simple rule” that you need to “obey.”
- She organizes a book club and makes everyone read something by this esoteric new-agey guy who is obsesed with flowers and the power of now, and encourages people to continue to tell each other they understand it and endorse it, when clearly that is impossible, because it is not understandable and it is jibberish.
- He decides to move his late-night comedy show to 10:00 pm.
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