18 Tweets Made By Spoiled Kings
Listen, you know as well as I do that all knowledge is shared. Stop looking at me like that.
- My serf is late again this morning. I’ve told him over and over: I’m not not-paying him to sleep in.
- Can you get workers comp for the repetitive strain of sitting in a throne all day? Seriously, my ass is numb.
- I like the part of Twitter that is like shouting at a room full of people. But the “unfollow” option is absurd. Also: treasonous.
- @LouisXIV Sure dungeons are convenient. But you try falling asleep just a few floors above them! #lambsscreamingclarice
- What nobody ever tells you is how much the castle stinks. Seriously. Try cleaning out your chamber pots, people.
- I think this crown is giving me a rash.
- Great. I downloaded 3.0 and now all of my apps are gone. Fucking great.
- Scepters are weird, if you really think about them. I mean, what are they for, exactly?
- @PostSecret I am SO OVER my wife’s issues. Am seriously considering switching to Protestantism.
- They may call it the disease of kings, but I can assure you that gout is no happily ever after #mybigtoehasspawnedamonster
- @Ferdinand‘s Fool would be funnier if he didn’t rip off all his jokes from Carlos Mencia
- Whose money is this? I don’t carry ones.
- Oh look at me! I’m the King, and here’s my big ornamented stick to prove it! OOGA BOOGA!
- Of all the furs in the world, you choose ermine?! Ermine! A weasel? Am I the only one who is keeping track of the meta message anymore?
- Crown jewels might be valuable, but they are also heavy. I’m just saying.
- Just ONCE I’d like to consummate a marriage without a room full of witnesses.
- @MaryBoelyn Why don’t YOU try to arrange Father’s Day around 50 illegitimate children, then, if I’m “not doing multifamily right.”
- This day of drinking, whoring, feasting, surveying the palace grounds, sentencing treason & general revelry FINALLY DONE. I so need a vacay.
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