You probably think you know what this is.
This, my friends, is a Rawr. An unusual-looking, kinda-looks-like-a-bird variety of Rawr, yes, but a Rawr nonetheless. A Rawr in the tradition of the Archaeopteryx.
The Archaeopteryx is the missing link between birds and dinosaurs. By the way, did you know that if you were to Google Archaeopteryx–let’s say you set out to write a cute post about how your son refers to dinosaurs as “Rawrs,” and you wanted to be totally sure that you spelled it right, hypothetically–do you know what comes up? Let me tell you. The “Archaeopteryx hoax” is what comes up, on a “intelligent design” site that I will not link because just thinking about its existence–let alone its number one google page rank for “archaeopteryx” makes me feel like this.
Let me tell you about the kind of “answers” you can find in Genesis. I am peculiarly qualified for this task, by the way, since I’ve taught the damn book to undergraduates. These are the kinds of questions for which you can seek answers in Genesis:
- Was man created first, and then woman created later?
- Was woman created from man’s rib?
- Was there a serpent in the Garden of Eden?
- Was the serpent Satan?
And here are the kind of answers you’ll get from Genesis on those questions:
- Yes and No.
- It is Written
- What would you like for it to mean?
- What do you need for it to mean in this instance?
But you know what you won’t find in Genesis? Any mention of these guys:
. . . or whether they turned into birds or not. Or whether there was or was not really an Archaeopteryx. In fact, going to Genesis to find out about whether the Archaeopteryx was a hoax is like consulting Bright Lights, Big City for an authoritative account of homelessness in 1980s New York.
Check it, Google: unintelligent design has hacked your algorithms. It’s just a matter of time before all the books are burned and people start really believing that the world is six thousand years old.
See, this was supposed to be a cute post about how Mini calls dinosaurs Rawrs. And look what those crazy Christians have gone and made me do!