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You probably think you know what this is.


You don’t.


Parasaurolophus, aka Reminiscent-of-a-Bird-Rawr


This, my friends, is a Rawr. An unusual-looking, kinda-looks-like-a-bird variety of Rawr, yes, but a Rawr nonetheless. A Rawr in the tradition of the Archaeopteryx.

The Archaeopteryx is the missing link between birds and dinosaurs. By the way, did you know that if you were to Google Archaeopteryx–let’s say you set out to write a cute post about how your son refers to dinosaurs as “Rawrs,” and you wanted to be totally sure that you spelled it right, hypothetically–do you know what comes up? Let me tell you. The “Archaeopteryx hoax” is what comes up, on a “intelligent design” site that I will not link because just thinking about its existence–let alone its number one google page rank for “archaeopteryx” makes me feel like this.


Fighting Rawrs.


Let me tell you about the kind of “answers” you can find in Genesis. I am peculiarly qualified for this task, by the way, since I’ve taught the damn book to undergraduates. These are the kinds of questions for which you can seek answers in Genesis:

  1. Was man created first, and then woman created later?
  2. Was woman created from man’s rib?
  3. Was there a serpent in the Garden of Eden?
  4. Was the serpent Satan?
  5. &c.

And here are the kind of answers you’ll get from Genesis on those questions:

  1. Yes and No.
  2. Both.
  3. Either/Or
  4. It is Written
  5. What would you like for it to mean?
  6. What do you need for it to mean in this instance?
  7. &c.

But you know what you won’t find in Genesis? Any mention of these guys:


Rawrs: They’re more intelligently designed than you think.


. . . or whether they turned into birds or not. Or whether there was or was not really an Archaeopteryx. In fact, going to Genesis to find out about whether the Archaeopteryx was a hoax is like consulting Bright Lights, Big City for an authoritative account of homelessness in 1980s New York.

Check it, Google: unintelligent design has hacked your algorithms. It’s just a matter of time before all the books are burned and people start really believing that the world is six thousand years old.

See, this was supposed to be a cute post about how Mini calls dinosaurs Rawrs. And look what those crazy Christians have gone and made me do!

Comments (10)

  1. Heather
    Jun 12, 2009

    OMG I LOVE YOU. Seriously! This is the exact question that has been plaguing me for…don’t even ask me how long because you will laugh! *lol* The whole ‘when were dinosaurs created’ is question that I want answered and agreed upon by everyone! *lol* I love the Mini calls them “Rawrs” that is undeniably cute. It amazes me how every little boy (and some of us girls!) all go through the dinosaur stage. You really taught the bible to undergrads? Go you.

  2. Snakey
    Jun 12, 2009

    Great post. Take that, Google, for shame!

    Now Wolfram Alpha… it candidly tells us it doesn’t know what “Rawr” is, and perhaps did you mean “racer.” And as to Archaeopteryx, it gives us (gasp) taxonomical info.

  3. Jun 12, 2009

    I’ve never had to teach the Bible, but I have had many a student cite the Bible in argumentative papers on, say, why abortion is wrong, or why homosexuality is wrong, etc. And since it’s a Catholic school, I’m not allowed to say that the Bible isn’t a credible source. Because that would just ruin their lives, I guess.

    But hey, at least Mini’s rawrs are a point of light in the darkness of fundamentalism. They’ll probably make our kids wear Harrison Bergeron helmets, though, you know.

  4. Jun 12, 2009

    That’s one of the problems with the public influencing algorithms (similar to award voting set-ups). Their are some people that think that Rawrs did walk in the time of Genesis and even boarded the ark with Noah. There is a museum with lovely displays that I hope to see some day. Because I am a devout lifelong learner.

    Deb on the Rocks´s last blog post..Announcing the Queerosphere OUT Loud party, and you are invited!

  5. Jun 12, 2009

    Hoo key, here’s where I out myself as someone who isn’t, by any stretch, fluent in the ways of the Christian scholarship but not a rabid debunker of intelligent design, either. I heard a very reasonable, fully educated, pro-science man of the cloth explain it thusly (And, I’ll probably flub his explanation. In addition to not being able to point to the sources or Scripture or whatever it was that he based his explanation on):

    Genesis (and this probably applies other books of the bible, too) is true. Sort of. It is full of true facts written in a mythological way. The way the legend of King Arthur is true, but mythologized. Was there a British king named Arthur? Sure. Did he rule long ago and was much beloved by his people? Yeah, and probably. What about the lady of the lake, the sword in the stone, Lancelot, Guinevere, the knights of the roundtable, the knights who say Ni!, yada, yada? No. That was just a fun story to make the facts go down smoother.

    Seen this way, the events of Genesis are not to be taken literally. Did God (a god, any god) create man before any other animal? Every bit of logic or intelligence we have (which, fundies would have to concede, came from God! Idiots.) says that just isn’t likely. What most people can agree upon is that, of all the animals, it is man who seems to have some sort of “most favored” relationship with God (a god, any god). Just look around. You don’t see iguanas praying or gazelles meditating. However, just because humans have a special relationship with God (a god, any god) isn’t some sort of evidential proof that humans were created first.

    What this particular clergy member said was that along the way (“the way” being Darwinism, with evolution and everything), God (a god, any god) stepped in and became a force in the lives of this one particular animal (humans). Doesn’t preclude the existence of dinosaurs. But it does make their 6000-year-old claim wrong by a few millennia.

    This makes sense to me. Both fundies and atheists would say I like this theory because it’s convenient. Perhaps. Of course this doesn’t solve the very troubling problem of what comes up first when you Google “Archaeopteryx.”

    It would be nice if we could get a message to these Darwinist deniers:

    “You know how nice children like Mini enjoy playing with plastic rawrs? Well, your god wanted something fun to play with, too. That’s why he invented the real rawrs.”

  6. Jun 12, 2009

    This topic always fascinates me and stuns me in the same breath. Rawr.

    Missives From Suburbia´s last blog post..My Appomattox

  7. Jun 12, 2009

    Do you know what a Rawr is? http://www.abdpbt.com/2009/06/12/rawr/ Please note, if you are devoutly Christian, might want to skip this one.

  8. Jun 12, 2009

    Wow. My son went to the high school in Georgia that became well-known a few years back for placing stickers in the biology book “warning” that evolution was just a theory. He had the book. I didn’t have to intervene as he is a scientist in his own right. He is also a good kid. Parents of other kids are often surprised to learn that we don’t have a “church family”. Seems they wonder how he turned out so nice without weekly Sunday school. How about daily lessons on how to live.
    I hope that Mini enjoys his Rawrs, and comes to explore the world through the lens he develops from his insightful mother.

    Tim Gardner´s last blog post..What Do You Want Your Statistic To Be?

  9. Jun 13, 2009

    We have gotten the question about the rawrs for a couple of years now. This is probably really confusing to the kiddos as C is agnostic and I don’t know what I am anymore. C gives a pretty good explanation for any little child who wants to sit still long enough.

    People will use any argument to explain away things they don’t agree with, trust me, my own mom is genius with the bible is literal and every word is the truth.

    Becca´s last blog post..Edward the caveman on Next Food Network Star

  10. Jun 15, 2009

    holy hell, they’ve managed to take the cute out of a toddler’s love for dinosaurs? bastards.

    jenni´s last blog post..Two

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