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11 Things That Change For The Better After You Lose Your Phony Euro Non-Landed Title To Divorce

11 Things That Change For The Better After You Lose Your Phony Euro Non-Landed Title To Divorce

  1. You can drink beer out of a bottle again.
  2. You never have to play doubles tennis with a guy wearing floral shorts again.
  3. You may not be a Countess anymore, but at least you don’t have CRAZY EYES.
  4. No more confusion on magazine subscription cards–happily check “Ms.” and be done with it.
  5. Next time you write a book on etiquette, you can come up with a good title that actually makes people want to buy the book.
  6. No more “family pride” trips to the Statue of Liberty. (BOR-ING! LULZ)
  7. You can try out your talking quietly method of seduction on a whole new, younger generation of men: the baby boomers this time!
  8. If you can still afford a driver, you can now be introduced to him by your first name only.
  9. No more of those annoying bi-monthly dinners and wifely duties visits from the Count.
  10. [singlepic=531,320,240,,right]It will be nice to stop appearing at public events with a dead ringer for Dr. Strangelove.
  11. No more long drawn out explanations of what exactly a Countess is to the group of underprivileged children to whom you’re “giving back.” And who couldn’t care less.

Got a list to share? Here’s what to do:

  1. Write a “list” post on your blog.
  2. Copy this code, and paste in the text of your post:
  3. Either comment or email me at anna at abdpbt dot com to let me know you’re participating, and I’ll link you up below.

Check out these list lovers:

  1. ABDPBT Personal Finance
  2. Kerry at ClueWagon
  3. Elizabeth at Half Baked, Twice As Good
  4. Eliz at Tink’s Mom Dot Com
  5. Emily at I Did It For Me
  6. Cody at Humangirl

Comments (6)

  1. Apr 6, 2009

    Love this. Especially #7. That whole scene gave me hives.

    My list is up.

    Kerry´s last blog post..10 Ways to Prepare for a Phone Interview

  2. Apr 6, 2009

    Hilarious! List up.

    Elizabeth´s last blog post..Things I would do if I lost my job today

  3. Apr 6, 2009

    I saw #11 on Hulu or somewhere and could barely believe what I was seeing. Hilarious list.

    Mine’s up, finally.

  4. Apr 6, 2009

    Bwaaahaa! Did you see this blurb about the Countess’ book?

    “Being an extremely low-born and gauche person, I rely heavily on the Countess for tips on good manners and etiquette. She has also taught me how to be more sassy and alluring.”
    -Simon Doonan, creative director of Barney’s New York, author of Eccentric Glamour

    That has got to be a backhanded slam.

  5. Apr 6, 2009

    http://etherealred.com/2009/04/06/illness-death-and-a-bit-of-good-news/

    I made a list, but yours is way more interesting than mine for sure!

    Emily´s last blog post..Illness, Death, and A Bit Of Good News

  6. Apr 6, 2009

    I haven’t joined in for awhile… but, I just posted mine.

    Cody´s last blog post..Baby Rabies

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