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What’s Dennis Rodman’s Deal, Do You Think?

What’s Dennis Rodman’s Deal, Do You Think?

Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth,
You pull on your finger, then another finger, then your cigarette
The wall-to-wall is calling, it lingers, then you forget
Oh, you’re a rock ‘n’ roll suicide

You’re too old to lose it, too young to choose it
And the clocks waits so patiently on your song
You walk past a cafe but you don’t eat when you’ve lived too long
Oh, no, no, no, you’re a rock ‘n’ roll suicide

Haven’t you always wanted to start off a post with an epigraph from David Bowie? You know, just like how they did in The Breakfast Club? Me too. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Mr. Right Click and I were watching Celebrity Apprentice the other day. Listen, you never know where you’re going to get inspiration, people. And besides, this season they actually have some famous people, like people who are actually kind of celebrities on Celebrity Apprentice. They also have Khloe Kardashian (which? by the way, lame spelling), but hey. Tom Green is funnier than you think.

“What’s his deal, do you think?” I asked Mr. Right-Click.
“Who? Rodman?”
“He’s a suicide.”
“What do you mean, ‘he’s a suicide’?”
“He’s a suicide. He always has been.”
“But he has five NBA Championship rings!”
“That is true.”
“You think he’s going to kill himself?”
“Could be.”

[singlepic=520,560,560,,left]I thought about this for a while. I don’t know why Dennis Rodman is so interesting to me all of a sudden. He hasn’t changed much since his basketball days, though his hair is possibly not quite so crazy, limited to just the one crazy color. I haven’t seen him in a Vera Wang knockoff lately, either. In truth, he looks like a fairly average LA celebrity who shops on Robinson Avenue, with maybe a few more Bedazzled clothing items than average, but still way less than Danny Bonaduce. So you know, not totally crazy. Still, there’s something about him that is interesting. Like why is he on that show, anyway? He’s not running any kind of publicity thing that I know of, and I would think he’s doing pretty well financially.

“Trump told him to stop playing the victim,” I told Mr. Right-Click.
“When? Last week?”
“Yeah. He said, ‘Listen, I’ve seen how you live, Dennis. I’ve seen your cars, your houses. You’re doing fine.'”
“What did Rodman say?”
“He said, ‘I’m always to blame,’ and then Trump said, ‘Don’t play the victim, Dennis.'”
Mr. Right-Click laughed.
“Then they argued briefly about who was the bigger star.”
“That sounds about right.”

Suicide is a weird word, when it is applied to a living person. I have a hard time believing Dennis Rodman is about to kill himself, but every time he talks I want to tell him to speak up. Seriously, he has the quietest voice for a celebrity I’ve ever heard. His fashion sense and his voice volume are inversely proportional. It’s bizarre. Why would someone be so concerned about making a statement with their clothing–toned down when compared to years past, yes, but he still wears his crazy baseball hat, even in the boardroom, and has piercings EVERYWHERE–but be so quiet and softspoken? What’s your deal, Dennis? Why can’t your clothes and your personality match? Why can’t you turn that frown upside down? What is Dennis Rodman’s deal, do you think?

Comments (9)

  1. Mar 11, 2009

    I don’t know what his deal is, but he intrigues me too. He’s wearing a gorgeous scarf in the photo.

  2. Mar 11, 2009

    It has to be insecurity. He’s done everything he can possibly do to get attention over the years. Right now, he’s more infamous than famous because of his antics off the court. Not being on the basketball court any longer has probably thrown him into some sort of weird crisis

    Mo´s last blog post..You Know You Watch Too Much Reality TV When…

  3. Mar 11, 2009

    Remember his brief marriage to Carmen Electra? That was weird. I don’t know what his deal is. I think he’s just wants people to like him.

  4. Heather
    Mar 11, 2009

    When I saw the previews for the show, I actually said “Dennis Rodham?! Where did they dig him up?!” And of course no one was around to here me because I live alone. But the point is, I thought him a really different choice for the show. I mean, where has he been all this time? And it’s true, he was this walking billboard of attention seeking during his career. And as I’m not that much of a viewer, how do these celebs get on the show? Do they apply or are they asked?

  5. Mar 11, 2009

    I’ve always liked Dennis, I guess because he came from such poor roots and then went all freaky/crazy in a way I really appreciate. Maybe that he seems to think it’s all just a big joke and he’s having a helluva time. I don’t think he’s a suicide per se, more of a “drive off a cliff in a convertible while some bim gives him a BJ” type.

    J.´s last blog post..IMHO

  6. Mar 11, 2009

    He lived in Oklahoma, that’s the deal. He went to junior college here and wrote all about being basically the only black dude in town. I guess he got uses to really standing out then and decided he liked it.

  7. Mar 12, 2009

    Dennis is an enigma. A bright, shiny, sunglass-wearing, softspoken enigma. I’m not sure what his deal is. But I have a feeling Ed Hardy might know. They seem to spend a lot of time together.

    LY /PauvrePlume´s last blog post..Hi, I’m an eHarmony reject.

  8. Mar 12, 2009

    The thing that jars us all about DR is that he doesn’t make sense. He has two competing IDs (Freudian version) that confuse us and make it impossible for us to neatly classify him as a type. Anyone who freaking looks like a freak and act like a lamb has to be combating some intense internal turmoil. I think he needs therapy to join his two competing identities – or at least to make peace with them. And if he doesn’t do it for himself, he should at least do it for us so we can figure out who he really is!

    Amber Warren´s last blog post..Friends Who are Not Friends on Facebook

  9. surcey
    Mar 17, 2009

    I like your posts in which you analyze people’s psyches.
    Just catching up on your blog, BTW.
    You’re great.

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