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10 Verbs That Should Have Stuck To Being Nouns

10 Verbs That Should Have Stuck To Being Nouns


  1. To belt, e.g. “40,000 Heidi Montags in belted sweaters doesn’t make it right.”
  2. To text, e.g. “They have been dating for four weeks, but as they texted extensively before that, we can hardly argue the shotgun marriage is premature.”
  3. To partner, aka “Kanye West and Estelle have ‘just touched down in London town’ and plan on partnering in a song to become ‘da biggest in da world right now,’ among other sundry entrepreneurial goals.”
  4. To calendar, aka “As part of my taking-care-of-me initiative, I have calendared several trips to the spa, as well as a few manicures and pedicures.”
  5. To verb, aka “In the internet community, you know you’ve really made it once your name or website name is verbed. Just ask Facebook. Or Google. Or Dooce. Or Mashable. Or Boing-Boing. Or Digg. Or Kirtsy. Or Twitter. Or ABDPBT.”
  6. To liaison, e.g. “As part of the highly specialized mergers and acquisitions process, investment banking representatives may need to liaison with corporate executives in order to facilitate the progress of the deal. This liaisoning often involves alcohol, strip clubs, and several fistfuls of crisp one-dollar bills folded in half lengthwise.”
  7. To message, e.g. “I was instant messaging all afternoon and totally neglected Twitter! Must work on time management skillz kthanxbai.”
  8. To headquarter, e.g. “Berkshire-Hathaway is headquartered in Omaha, Nebraska, much to the chagrin of many a DABA girl.”
  9. To author, e.g. “Stephanie Meyer has authored several books, all of them poorly constructed, with transparent plots and unconvincing characterization, and yet each one is impossible to put down.”
  10. To transition, e.g. “Please excuse the mess, but we are transitioning into an all-green energy housekeeping policy whereby I do not use things like ‘vacuum cleaners,’ ‘dishwashers,’ ‘laundry machines,’ and the like.”

Got a list to share? Here’s what to do:

  1. Write a “list” post on your blog.
  2. Copy this code, and paste in the text of your post:
  3. Either comment or email me at anna at abdpbt dot com to let me know you’re participating, and I’ll link you up below.

Check out these list lovers:

  1. Kerry at ClueWagon
  2. Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie
  3. Eliz at Tink’s Mom
  4. Pauvre Plume

Comments (10)

  1. Feb 2, 2009

    I authored a list, and it’s up.

    #6 is the one that makes me mildly homicidal.

    Kerry´s last blog post..5 Job Hunting Expenses That Are Tax Deductible

  2. Feb 2, 2009

    Calendared? That’s a new one to me. Sounds and looks horrible! I think, however, I will transistion to an all-green household as well. I am possibly already all-green. There is most definitely something green growing under our beds.

    I have my list up.

    Ginny Marie´s last blog post..Turning 40

  3. Feb 2, 2009

    Today an email told me that a reported had been “high-leveled” and that an executive summary was attached.


    Deb´s last blog post..Are you Marmot or are you Man?

  4. Feb 2, 2009

    Ugh! Nouns as verbs! Almost as awful as children with nouns for names!!! (I plead guilty to that, however. It’s a good one though, not like Grace or January.) What about the odious verbs “gifted,” “impacted” and “greenlighted”?

    I’m rockin’ a list today, too.

    eliz´s last blog post..10 Mom Merit Badges

  5. QB
    Feb 2, 2009

    My least favorite fake verb is “operationalize,” particularly when it becomes “operationalization.”

    I confess to using this word sometimes, but that doesn’t make me hate it any less.

  6. AKD
    Feb 2, 2009

    My contributions:
    To office, e.g. “Carl is officing out of Phoenix this week.”
    (Will and I like to use “desking” in this way… i.e. “What did you do at work today?” “Oh, mostly desking.”)
    To hindsight, e.g. “Let’s get together and hindsight last week.”
    To agenda, e.g. “I want all of our meetings to be agendized from now on.”

  7. I abhor “authoring” as a verb. That won’t stop me from telling you that you authored another fine Monday list, though, dammit!

    foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)´s last blog post..things i learned while watching the super bowl, which, truth be told, i didn’t care about. at all.*

  8. Feb 2, 2009

    Hey Anna…
    Lovely list. I think about sucky nouns-as-verbs every time I see that d@mn preview for He’s Just Not That Into You, where Drew Barrymore proclaims that some dude “MySpaced” her.

    I have never heard of “to liaison,” but I feel like it should involve shtooping John Malkovich, dangerous style.

    My list is (lame and) up.

  9. […] tomorrow, I guess I can unchain her from the boiler long enough for dessert. by dooce in Nubbin 10 Verbs That Should Have Stuck To Being Nouns – abdpbt.com 02/02/2009 [ list.jpg] To belt, e.g. “40,000 Heidi Montags in belted sweaters […]

  10. Valerie
    Feb 4, 2009


    “to dialogue”

    “to orientate” (whut?)

    and ditto eliz – “to gift”

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