10 Verbs That Should Have Stuck To Being Nouns
- To belt, e.g. “40,000 Heidi Montags in belted sweaters doesn’t make it right.”
- To text, e.g. “They have been dating for four weeks, but as they texted extensively before that, we can hardly argue the shotgun marriage is premature.”
- To partner, aka “Kanye West and Estelle have ‘just touched down in London town’ and plan on partnering in a song to become ‘da biggest in da world right now,’ among other sundry entrepreneurial goals.”
- To calendar, aka “As part of my taking-care-of-me initiative, I have calendared several trips to the spa, as well as a few manicures and pedicures.”
- To verb, aka “In the internet community, you know you’ve really made it once your name or website name is verbed. Just ask Facebook. Or Google. Or Dooce. Or Mashable. Or Boing-Boing. Or Digg. Or Kirtsy. Or Twitter.
- To liaison, e.g. “As part of the highly specialized mergers and acquisitions process, investment banking representatives may need to liaison with corporate executives in order to facilitate the progress of the deal. This liaisoning often involves alcohol, strip clubs, and several fistfuls of crisp one-dollar bills folded in half lengthwise.”
- To message, e.g. “I was instant messaging all afternoon and totally neglected Twitter! Must work on time management skillz kthanxbai.”
- To headquarter, e.g. “Berkshire-Hathaway is headquartered in Omaha, Nebraska, much to the chagrin of many a DABA girl.”
- To author, e.g. “Stephanie Meyer has authored several books, all of them poorly constructed, with transparent plots and unconvincing characterization, and yet each one is impossible to put down.”
- To transition, e.g. “Please excuse the mess, but we are transitioning into an all-green energy housekeeping policy whereby I do not use things like ‘vacuum cleaners,’ ‘dishwashers,’ ‘laundry machines,’ and the like.”
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