12 Ideas Motrin Ditched Before They Greenlighted the BabyWearing Ad
Have you seen the Motrin ad about how it’s a good thing to take if you have been wearing your baby so much that you’re in pain? It’s on Youtube now, in case you haven’t seen it yet. And the #motrinmoms were all aTwitter about it. I’m not going to embed it here, because far be it from me to help their viral marketing, except insofar as it provides me with a comedy riff. But here’s the text of the ad, in case you’re too lazy to click on the link:
Wearing your baby seems to be in fashion, I mean in theory it’s a great idea, there’s the front baby carrier, sling, schwing, wrap, and who knows what else they’ve come up with–wear the baby on your side, your front, go hands free, supposedly it’s a real bonding experience. They say that babies carried close to the bod tend to cry less than others, BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? Do Moms that wear babies cry more than those who don’t? I SURE DO. These things put a ton of strain on your back, your neck, your shoulders. Did I mention your back? I mean I’ll put up with the pain, because it’s a good kind of pain–it’s for my kid, plus it totally makes me look like an official Mom. And so if I look tired and crazy, people will understand why. Motrin: We Feel Your Pain.TM
Anyway, I don’t personally have a big problem with the ad–it’s lame and unfunny, sure, but so are most ads. And new Moms do look tired and crazy a lot of the time, not that wearing a baby or taking a Motrin has anything to do with causing or stopping this. But a bunch of people are all up in arms, so if Motrin’s goal was a viral campaign with negative controversy, then they’ve succeeded admirably. But I suspect that what they were trying to do was to target market Moms on the internet, and if so, then they’ve kind of missed the mark. Because they are not familiar enough with the market to know that it’s not OK to be snarky about motherhood and the assorted annoyances unless you’re Dooce. And goddamnit, Motrin is not Dooce. Why, Motrin cannot even be said to be a Dooce derivative. MOTRIN IS THE MAN! So the controversy rages: Why is Motrin trying to be Dooce?! How dare they?
So this got me thinking . . . if the people at Motrin think that carrying a baby in a sling is so painful, particularly to a demographic that has recently pushed watermelons out of their vajayjays, and, what’s more, they think that this demographic isn’t already intimately aware of the benefits of ibuprofen, then the mind reels at what was left on the cutting room floor during this ad copywriting session. What did they turn down, do you think?
- I didn’t want to breastfeed–in fact, the whole idea kinda creeped me out, truth be told. But it seemed like everyone was doing it, like it was the THING to do, so I did. And now I have a cracked nipple. Motrin: We Feel Your Pain.TM
- The Family Bed seemed like such a great idea, in theory. But now my 17-year old won’t stop kicking me in the head at night when we were sleeping in the Family Bed. Motrin: We Feel Your Pain.TM
- I’ve always been a staunch supporter of abstinence as a birth control method. Then, right after I decided to run for Vice-President, my 16-year old daughter told me she was pregnant. Motrin: We Feel Your Pain.TM
- They offered me percoset for the recovery for my episiotomy. But after sixteen refills, the doctor won’t give me any more of the sweet nectar. Hey–can I look through your medicine cabinet? Motrin: We Feel Your PainTM
- My toddler likes to throw his sippy cup at me, and I believe in running child-centered household, so I don’t tell him no. Instead, I talk to talk to him about his feelings. Motrin: We Feel Your Pain.TM
- I just discovered Twitter, and I can’t feel my fingertips anymore. Motrin: We Feel Your PainTM
- We were so excited to bring our new baby home. And to put together that new baby swing. How hard could it be? Motrin: We Feel Your PainTM
- It’s football season. Motrin: We Feel Your PainTM
- Egads! I’ve been raped and left for dead. Motrin: We Feel Your PainTM
- I work as an actress in Hollywood and I’m not allowed to eat. But being lightheaded makes me feel like an official celebrity. Motrin: We Feel Your PainTM
- Everybody is reading the Twilight series! So I’ve been reading the Twilight series! Staying up all night reading the Twilight Series, in fact! I think I might actually be a vampire now. Biting hurts! Motrin: We Feel Your PainTM
- When you’re saudering a timer onto a bomb, and then you burn yourself? Doesn’t that suck? Motrin IB: We Feel Your Pain.TM
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